Posted by: IndisGuise January 20, 2005
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"tonight I wish
for the stars to shine
so I know you are mine."
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I think if u had ended it here, it would be more powerful. This stanza is beautifully composed and has a subtle yet obvious meaning. The last line makes it WAYYYY too obvious and makes a poem looks like a desperate (loud).
Just my two cents. Keep writing. I kindda stopped long tyam back :(
Indisguise:(