Posted by: jhyam_putali January 15, 2005
Who can teach me
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Adrian Bro, ahile samma ta Nepali ka sabda haru marfat Paad ka bivinna prakar byakhya gariyo ...Cartoons haru ko maja pani lieeyo...Aba yaha Angregi ma Paad (Farts) ka bivinna prakar bayaan garne prayas gardaichhu..Asha cha yaha le mann paraunu hunecha: Over the years I have experienced many different kinds of farts. Some Long, Some Stinky, Some Loud, Some Silent, and Some Bubbly. But all in all, they were farts . So, I decided to give a few examples of the farts I have experienced. Be prepared to be BLOWN away!! S.B.D Fart: S.B.D stand for silent but deadly. Although no one could here the fart, they can track down the smell. Then they yell out your name and say, "Man, You Better Check Your Pants!!!!" * * Bubbly Fart:(My Personal Favorite.) When you are farting and you can hear the little turtle heads popping out. Right after it you run to the bathroom. * * Laughing Gas Fart: When you are laughing so hard and you lay a huge one that you didn't even know was coming! * * The MachineGun Fart: When you have a fart that starts out as one but then it splits into tiny ones that are very close together! * * The Squeezer Fart: The Squeezer Fart is when you fart and while doing so you squeeze your butt cheeks together to make a long fart, longer. * * Worrying Fart: The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the next possible opportunity. * * Beefy One: Sounds loud, and butch eg. 'BRAAAAMMPPP!'. Will smell a bit like the rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dogturd. * * Present: (a.k.a 'Time I Wasn't Here' Fart) The type of fart which seems harmless, but then brings a small poopie as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet, and thank God you weren't in a business meeting when it happened. If you were in a business meeting of course, you're screwed. * * Bunbuster Fart: 'BRAAA!' Sounds like a Beefy one, except much more sudden and much much more powerful. Generally smells eggy or beefy. You really feel these babies. * * Trouser Ripping Special: Sends seismic ripples to the next city. Rips the back of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby at the time will suffer hearing loss. * * Escape Pod Fart: You think you got away with this one. You forced it out as silently as possible, and nobody heard. You take deep sniffs through your nose, as discreetly as possible. You smell nothing but your deodorant. Then 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everyone starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent. * * Sphinctal Napalm: Tends to occur a few hours after a hot curry. Nevermind the smell, worry about the burning sensation and the nasty stain you know it must have left. * * Stalker Fart: Occurs when you leave the room to politely fart elsewhere, and save people the trouble of breathing your flatulent devils breath. You go back into the room, but LO! The foul nasal bombardment has followed you, and you are duly criticised for poor manners. * * Not Now!: (a.k.a Anal Control Fart) You feel the presence of a mighty fart, and are unable to release it due to your situation. Happens on first dates, at important meetings, and on other such inexcusable occasions. You clench your buttocks together so hard that you nearly give yourself a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends on a number of factors, but Sods law tends to win out in the end. * * Hydrated Flatulation:(a.k.a Wet Fart) The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants, and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. You might not like this little bugger, but you feel right at home with it. * * Gunshot Fart: Gunshot farts sound just like a gunshot. They are exceedingly rare. In fact they are so rare that most people don't know they even exist. One report continues: "I have only witnessed one gunshot fart myself, my own,and almost scared the poop out of my girlfriend who was lying asleep beside me at the time. She thought it was a gunshot, and it was so named." A few others have refered to these rare creatures, so proving their existance. Hope you like it. COURTESY: www.fart.com
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