WOW.. Trump slaps tariffs on April 2, 2025, and you’re already blubbering like a gutless simp while the Dow hemorrhages 2,000 points on Friday. The market vaporizes $2 trillion in 20 minutes—a 4-5% S&P disembowelment—and you’re sniveling like it’s your last dime? A 10% baseline tariff on every import, jacked higher for trade-surplus vultures, is Trump’s machete hacking at a $1.2 trillion trade deficit from last year, and you’re too pathetic to stomach the blood? Musk, down $18 billion on Tesla stock in two days, still has the spine to excoriate Navarro and demand zero tariffs, while you’re mewling in the corner. The Wall Street Journal’s conservative sages warned this global upheaval would shred illusions of a ‘golden age,’ not coddle weaklings. If a basic formula—trade deficit divided by imports, floored at 10%, so simple ChatGPT could barf it up—unravels your fragile little soul, crawl back to your sandbox. This is a fight, not a bedtime story, you cowardly fool. Cry baby cry.