Posted by: meraj December 24, 2022
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You have to be up-front with your wife about it. You have to clearly and openly tell your wife that you are not comfortable living with in-laws for long term and if they plan to stay here permanently they need to find their own place .
It might get tricky in the beginning but you have to be open and honest about, otherwise life, relationships everything can be miserable very quickly .
Some people have it and can live with many extended families under same roof, some simply don’t . I never liked living with extended family. People will say things like not loving your family or not talking care of them. But I personally don’t think living together is same as loving and taking care. So sooner you make it clear is better .
Financial aspect of it including health insurance is tricky , depends on your situation and income . But for most part , US systems are not favorable to fund in-laws or even parents as dependents completely . Hence its better to explain everyone clearly and openly rather than making everyone’s life miserable for the sake of show off in nepal that they live with their daughter in US. And trust me if they are 50 plus in age , they won’t like living here , unless there is some other things going on like intention to make some money or wanting to spend time with grand kids.
In my case, they realize after 5/6 month that I don’t like them living in my house permanently. I never had good chemistry with my MIL and she knew it. I openly told my wife that don’t want to stay with laws . I even decided to hire nanny while my first kid was 4 month old, so that they get message that it’s time to go. And eventually they left . For long term I made compermise to send like 400$ per month to hire someone in nepal to take care of them or spent it in what ever way they like. They do have son and extended family back home.
If your wife is only child, then situation might get tricky depending on your in laws level of comfort on living alone. I have seen many people living independently alone in Nepal in old age recently but you still need to hire some professional help at some point depending on age and health , if there is no immediate relative to take care of them. It’s difficult situation but it needs to be death with balance and honesty.
It might get tricky in the beginning but you have to be open and honest about, otherwise life, relationships everything can be miserable very quickly .
Some people have it and can live with many extended families under same roof, some simply don’t . I never liked living with extended family. People will say things like not loving your family or not talking care of them. But I personally don’t think living together is same as loving and taking care. So sooner you make it clear is better .
Financial aspect of it including health insurance is tricky , depends on your situation and income . But for most part , US systems are not favorable to fund in-laws or even parents as dependents completely . Hence its better to explain everyone clearly and openly rather than making everyone’s life miserable for the sake of show off in nepal that they live with their daughter in US. And trust me if they are 50 plus in age , they won’t like living here , unless there is some other things going on like intention to make some money or wanting to spend time with grand kids.
In my case, they realize after 5/6 month that I don’t like them living in my house permanently. I never had good chemistry with my MIL and she knew it. I openly told my wife that don’t want to stay with laws . I even decided to hire nanny while my first kid was 4 month old, so that they get message that it’s time to go. And eventually they left . For long term I made compermise to send like 400$ per month to hire someone in nepal to take care of them or spent it in what ever way they like. They do have son and extended family back home.
If your wife is only child, then situation might get tricky depending on your in laws level of comfort on living alone. I have seen many people living independently alone in Nepal in old age recently but you still need to hire some professional help at some point depending on age and health , if there is no immediate relative to take care of them. It’s difficult situation but it needs to be death with balance and honesty.