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 Do You Have Any Regrets?

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Posted on 12-07-09 10:04 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hi y'all.....!


This is probably a boring thread but just was curious to know if you have any REGRETS at all? From the past, any actions, any decisions and what happened....etc..


Myself:


I regret ...getting into a serious relationship when i was younger around 17 yrs old. Should have played it cooler. He was just a boy who didn't understand anything. The experience did age me somewhat.


Love to hear your stories.....


 
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Posted on 12-07-09 4:19 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Femme_fatale,

When I said, "my only Nepali "girlfriend"" I clearly mentioned that she was the only Nepali girlfriend I've ever had in my life. I haven't dated any other Nepali girl since her.

Soullesseye,

I regret it because she makes a meal of our "relationship" while talking to my friends and thats what makes me feel sick! Its not like we were supposed to get married, is it? Besides, we didn't even kiss a single time! Talk about love!
 
Posted on 12-07-09 4:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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thats soo unlikely the really quagmire....giggidy giggidy

anyho...my biggest regret right now is not to know what i am doing with my career/life and not being able to make a HUGE DIFFERENCE as i always thought I would...my biggest regret is getting sucked into the viscious cycle of school, stupid works and assignemnt and not being able to enjoy my life to the fullest!!

Last edited: 07-Dec-09 04:27 PM

 
Posted on 12-07-09 5:33 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I regret for not visiting so many beautiful places in Nepal (when I was in Nepal) and not knowing my country within. Now when I look pictures from Nepal like Mustang, Muktinath, Palpa, Illam and countless others, I feel disheartened. Will I ever be able to get the same joy if I had visited back then, when I visit after couple of years (uncertain). 
It's something beside love and infatuation guys.


 
Posted on 12-07-09 5:55 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I regret of not being ME. I was trying to BE (be someone else...putting myself into  different characters from different persons around me.....obviously some good and few bad but useful ones) but not exact me. So, I am really trying to BE myself.


And I'd like to thank subrath for his/her beautiful and inspiraitonal words for encouraging.

But, I know that I can't edit mistakes I made in past...like I just edited this post.

 


-Daum

 
Last edited: 07-Dec-09 05:56 PM

 
Posted on 12-07-09 6:09 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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*Quaggie,, that makes it so easy to understand where the 'quagmire' in you came from..:p 

*stupida ,, thank you for the explanation...'the difference in view' was a nice answer..and now that I ve read the whole post, it partially makes sense....

*salmon dude.. mero ni icchya tyei chha hau!! :(

soulless

 
Posted on 12-07-09 7:40 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Pacific_Salmon, fair shout on that one man. I never went outside the valley except 3-4 times. ( Never went to Pokhara or Tansen, Chitwan, Palpa, Mechi etc ).

Soullessman, I'm not a horn dog man. I just love Quagmire, thats all.
 
Posted on 12-08-09 2:42 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I do regret for not developing my habits to speak up infront of people. During my schooling days back home, I was the one who used to 'shy' and 'fear' for no  reason and I didn't participate in any of the oral -extra-curricular activities like elocution, debate, speech and such even though I used to make bestest grade in the class.  Because of that, I am not being able to present myself infront of whole bunch of people. They won't let me any excuse in here! My ears and cheeks turn red. Heart gets out of my touch and my voice hangs in between nowhere when I start to deliver a compulsory speech. Poor me :( . I am thinking of taking Speech 101.  Had I taken active participation in debate and speech during teen years, I would have been  Barack !


 


 
Posted on 12-08-09 8:16 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Wow nice thread;

Let me share my regret:

At 13, I was doing some martial arts. The GURU was teaching how to tackle different difficulties, like how to block a punch, a kick, a low kick etc. But I was bothered much by PAKETMAR (pick-pocketer) who regularly trouble a lot of good people in the "office-time" crowd. I was curious to know how to catch a Paketmar if he is running away faster than me while chasing. The GURU told me "It is very easy, just touch his leg by your toe-tip, he will fell down". I could not believe this.

A few days later, we were in running practice, but I was still curious how the toe-tip trick could make a person fell down. I decided to check if the GURU was right. So, I extended my step just a few inches more while running so that I could touch the front runner's heel by my toe-tip, who was one of my best friend in that group. ALAS, he felt down so badly, I could not believe it. He got scratches on his knees and palms. I helped him to get up, but he immediately threw a hateful look and asked me "[Disallowed String for - use not allowed] kina chhirki hanya?" Uff, I did not have a answer, neither could I tell him that I was testing the GURU's idea. I still feel ashamed over my act whenever I remember this incident. He is still my good friend and is in regular touch, but this incident comes while all of us are in joking mood. 

 

 
Posted on 12-08-09 8:55 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Whoaa....loving all your posts... however only got 2 minutes before i run to my lecture, yikes! So i'm gona give a proper shout in here later, can't wait to reply to your posts, time is not on my side now!


I REGRET not logging on an hour earlier..damn me and my time management skills!


Keep going y'all....looks like we are all cleansing our innermost thoughts and feelings. Love it. Proud of you.


Time to haul a$$!


See u later amigos! 



 


 


 
Posted on 12-08-09 2:46 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I married the man "I loved" instead of marrying the man who loved me. I miss every moment I shared with the one who loved me. He respected every single wish I had. He wanted me to be with him in Nepal but I was over ambititous and came to USA. But he still was there at all times of need. He waited till I got married and now he is married also.


This is what happened. After few years of arrival to States, I meet this guy here who was handsome and very smart (in my eyes). I got attracted to him on our 1st meeting itself. I did realize there were a lot of things he lacked after we dated  couple of times. But, I got attracted to his educational acheivements anyway as he was a brilliant student and it went on. I was a street smart person and he was a book worm. I thought this was a great acheivement and didnot realize what I was losing.We started dating but there was always something wrong everytime and I ignored it. He was always money minded and made excuses for him....may be he is nervous. After few dates where he always let me pay the bill. I got pissed off and told him I didn't want  to date a guy who is so money minded and let's his girl pay all the bills. His reply was short and sweet.You are my 1st GF so you gotta teach me these things. I don't know your likes and dislikes.


In 10 years, we got married and we have a kid now. But I have to teach him everything even now. No my instinct about him being a money minded person wasnot wrong. Money comes 1st to him than me or his kid. I love him now that I cannot seperate and also kid is envolved. But I always miss the guy who loved me. May be this was one way god wanted to teach me a lesson. I always say now...go for the one who loves you not the one who you love....This is my regret. Just wanted to share!


 
Posted on 12-08-09 3:00 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nice and sincere sharing sunita. Will keep in mind when i m ready for the phase of life that you shared. I learn not to take life too seriously because nobody gets out of it alive. However it is good to trust life as it gives chances.
 
Posted on 12-08-09 4:00 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I don't know what to say, Sunita.....it was really sincere and I don't judge when it really comes from heart. No doubt, ur reading brought a moment of silence and thoughts.


One thing I never understood the idea of - marry somone who loves you, not the one who you love. The way I see this is that now you have to have a double co-incidence of want or may be you wanna say double coincidence of  like and love. the way I see things in case of marriage is that they are destined. No matter how hard you try and no matter what you do, you will marry that is already written somewhere, and it will continues what is needs to happen.


I don't know, but i always inclined  to the idea of arranged marriage. It's just a personal choice.


The only think I wished was - ur husband should have realized that we need money. It is so many things. Yet, it comes after family and relationship and ppl around you. But this is something you choose and everything comes with some cost,a nd sometimes ppl just forget the cost in the long run, while seeing the momentary benefits in the short run.


Well, If I have huart you in anyway, I am deeply sorry..........All I can do is wished that noone had to go through what you are dealing with @ present.


 
Posted on 12-08-09 5:09 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Stupidta,


In some ways I do believe that marriage is destined. I meet him and I married him, probably this was destined. Who knwos?


But again when I think about it in detail, I remember the times I made my decision. No one was there to tell me do this or that. I made my choice. I feel somewhere I choose what I wanted. May be momentarily my fate made me selfish and made me choose what I wanted (rather than someone who shed tears for me, waited for me for years, loved every moment spent with me.... mostly cared for every little comfort for me. My best friend, who loved me always set me free and said if you come back to me I was yours if not I was never yours. His thoughts were vast. We never fought because he always understood where I was comming from. He supported all of my feelings at all times when I needed moral support. Many more ...............


But when I came to states, I became selfish I have to say. I choose someone who was much educated in terms of books. But I realise knowledge comes from within and not from books. No matter how many certificates you have, if you are not knowledgeable in terms of life, then that education is of no value. I made my choice and I have been living with it. But I regret this more than anything else. My intention was just to share. And it may  help those who may make mistakes like mine.


I do love my kid's father but I always wish if he was the man who loved me, my best friend...the one who I left far behind.....


 
Posted on 12-08-09 5:22 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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In my college days, my teacher suddenly asked me, "What do you want to do in your life?". I said, without hesitating a bit and in a lightening speed I guess, "I want to win the Nobel prize in Physics for my country."
I now look back and wish I had never said something like that. I'm way past that age where I can do such a big thing; as I am now, I'm barely doing anything to my country.

I remember the teacher was younger than me, exceptionally beautiful. I wish I had said, instead, "I'd like to dive into your lustrous body, suck them dry and make love once and all for life". Maybe that would have been an attainable goal. Instead, I don't know what was on my blood that made me build a huge dream.

 
Posted on 12-08-09 5:29 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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As per now ..I am happy whatever in my life..the only one thing killing me is. wher is my Love ..didnt met  someone who really love me..doesnt mean that I didnt find love ...I havent tried for it ..I knw its happen automatically ..no one can force ..just need to wait for right time...beside that I am happy
 
Posted on 12-08-09 6:12 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sunita, based on what I read, I don't think your marriage is totally that bad. Further, you're basing your judgment on the guy who loved you on a hypothetical sense. How'd you know that the guy truly loved, in stead of his feelings being nothing more than mere infatuation? You talked about someone who loved you before you came here. I'm not saying he wouldn't love you but don't you think you're stressing too much on hindsight?

This reminds me of a friend of mine who left the "love of his life/ the girl who loved him the most" back home. Wasn't he an idiot? He dissed a beautiful and kind-hearted girl here for his "love" back home. But when he went back 2 years later, she told him right on his face that her feelings were a bit immature. I can sense some romaticism in your opinion and I wouldn't necessarily think that you'd be happier with him. Further, if you really went on to get married to this guy, surely, the guy has something! Marriage is a work, as I hear. Of course, you're more experienced on this matter ( assuming you're in early/mid 30s) but even then, I think its pointless to wish that you had been with a guy who "loved you" back in the days....



 
Posted on 12-09-09 12:20 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Human without regrets must be Buddha, every one has and I do too. Some has few and some may have many and may be killing them. Need to move on and do and make future decision with logic and rational.

Did my comment deleted ? 

 
Posted on 12-09-09 12:28 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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If we learn from mistakes that were made, i guess it will not turn into regrets. Thats what i keep telling myself.
 
Posted on 12-09-09 3:17 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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iAmUnknown,

 

You're most welcome...thanks for coming out and sharing your story. You were quite young at that time so easily can make some mistakes as u see it now...guess it was most a horrid feeling to be told by some boy to stay away from the girl u love. Do u think it was actually her that wanted u to stay away? Just curious..because i have heard of family members or jealous guys who try and mess things up by apparantely speak for the girl.  Anyways, not goin to try and suggest u do anything since i don't know what is best here, but glad u felt better releasing this bit of tension here. 

 

STUPIDA,

 

That is quite a story my friend...cheers for sharing it. You are right in so many ways...you didn't regret some things as without them, u wouldn't be who u are today. Sometimes it does take something drastic to learn lessons and change for the better. And also like the fact that u regret not treating that Mexicano chica right....it's a big thing to own up when u did do something wrong, many others let pride take first place, stops them from admitting their mistakes ultimately continuing hurting others along the way. Kudos to u for your wise thinkings.  

 

Dinero,

I too had the same problem when i was younger....always clammering up and stuttering when it came to talking in front of people, i was a shy and nervous kid like u. I think i changed when i asked myself, ' What the hell am i so afraid of?' There is nothing we should be afraid of in fact! After that, i always took deep breaths, looked people in the eye, thought about what i wanted to say and deliver my talk with the thought that i am just as good and capable as others. In time through coaching myself and my thoughts, i developed some confidence by pushing myself out there to talk in front of people, i.e. volunteer to do a presentation for my group work in Uni. I began to get more confident as i saw that people were interested in my talks and that was very encouraging. Overall, u can strengthen yourself when u go out there and do things u don't particularly like.


Chanaa_ Tarkaari,


Interesting story...well u was only 13 at the time and at that age not in the habit of thinking things through just like rest of the youngsters. So u are all grown up and feeling remorseful which is a good thing as you didn't mean to hurt your friend! I actually learnt a valuable lesson whilst reading your story...next time i need to catch a thief or somebody, touch his/her heel with toe-tip right? Thanks for that! 


Sunita,


Hey honey, sorry to hear about your experience....that is such a hard thing to deal with. I understand the regret, u feel like u made the biggest mistake of your life possibly.... but i think there are times in life we just don't seem to make the right decisions and fall into situations that weren't in our ideals. Like most people have said, a mistake is a mistake, only u know how sh*tty it feels, but its definitely one of life's lessons. How were u supposed to know that later on u would go on to regret leaving that other guy in Nepal...you're only human my dear. Who knows what situation would have come out marrying that Nepal dude lets say, it definitely seemed it would be rosy as hell but who knows in later years. I was with someone committedly, told my parents about him, wanted to marry him, he was bliss....until later on the guy just changed from being into the most lovable person into a selfish b*rstad. That's just my experience though. I just say, forget about what could have been and look to making your present and future situation work. Everything in life is hard work at the end of the day, nothing is handed down on a silver plate. U have a beautiful kid and he/she loves u to bits. Wish u all the best and thanks for sharing your story.


Magdadela,


Most of all have grand dreams and aspirations, especially for our country. You wanted recognition and achievement for for Nepal, and that in itself is a noble gesture. It doesn't matter that you didn't achieve winning the Nobel prize for Nepal, not many of us have been able to do much for Nepal, it's difficult so don't be so hard on yourself. Don't stop wishing for better things and having optimistic thoughts, its a good way to be, better than a negative person. Well personally, i think that you shouldn't regret, u had the best of intentions at heart.

 

Chiya_tea,


Hope your special someone comes to u soon..i too am wondering same thing...hehe...again, where art thou my darling? It does happen to people at different times so lets watch this space! All the best in your romantic endeavours!


SHakeen,


What is Tongba dude?


Pacific_salmon


I hear u... i have made many plans in my head next time round when i visit Nepal! Going to first do some voluntary programme so i may make that difference, help my country and people in some way...... and then visit many of the places u mentioned! Don't be disheartened...you can still visit those places, slowly but surely, get some family or friends, plan the trips next time you go Nepal, u can do it brah. I'm sure u will still enjoy all the beauty those places has to offer! Don't think too much, just do it and not regret that u never did it!  


SouLessEyes,


Always enjoy and love all your inputs! Wonderful thoughts as always and inspiration to me. Indeed, saying sorry for what we did is the best thing we can do for ourselves.


Quaggy,


Oh no! You have to visit Pokhara, Chitwan etc..deary! Come...we will set a date and travel those places, travel on those 'lovely' tourist buses, we'll pass time playing Marriage taas through the 10 hours traffic jams, riding on the 'chatt' (roof) singing Nepali songs with full force to pass time and swallow flies, sweat like donkeys but laugh at the pics of us all perspirated looking all beat-up.....ohhhhh yeh, and have a thrill visiting those beautiful places too, heheee....doh.


Syanjali,


Wise comments dude, right on the money. There were no comments deleted by the way.....(Eh?)


Poon-Hill,


There are some things we wish that didn't happen in the past and rather if we could go back in time and erase....we don't intentionally want to hurt ourselves or others right. Alas, how are we to know at the time of it! Learning from it takes away the harshness of regret...iand especially if we grow as better people because of those mistakes/actions! I liked your comment, much thanks!


 


 * My god, i can really talk for the world can't i.....hehe. Just to add, these are all just my own opinions, apologies if any of u guys thought i was wrong in some comments..i write whatever i feel. Well, i appreciate your posts people, i'm really learning loads from them myself and i'm sure most of us have seen the light in many different angles now.


** Keep posting readers, i'm sure it will make u feel better to share your experiences, get out things that's always playing on your mind and feel some release. Love to hear more!


Jai Nepal!


 

Last edited: 09-Dec-09 03:17 PM

 
Posted on 12-09-09 3:18 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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magdadela I heard you man. Your thread touched me. Thx for sharing..

 



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