She hurriedly finished her kitchen
chores and rushed to sit in front of the computer. She switched it on. It felt
like the computer was taking unusually long time to boot.
â€œI should have asked
Binesh to get a new computer when he was here last Dashain,â€ she
After making some creaking and
screeching sounds, the old Pentium III computer finally got ready. She slowly
followed the instructions written down on a piece of paper and logged into the
messenger. She peered through her thick glasses searching for her son in the
This has been her daily routine
since her only son moved abroad for studies. In spite of the load shedding in
the town, she always managed to steal few minutes to come online to chat with
him. She was thankful to the modern technology with which she could stay in
contact with her son living thousands of miles away from home. But tonight, she
could not find him online.
â€œHe did promise to
come online tonight. May be he dozed off in front of the computer waiting for
me. It is already past midnight there. I should have finished the cooking
earlier.â€ She always felt the time difference so annoying. When she could get
free from her household chores it would already be past midnight at her sonâ€™s
She opened her hotmail account with
a hope that Binesh might have dropped her message. But it was empty too.
â€œPerhaps, he is busy
with his work,â€ she tried to console herself.
She browsed through older emails in
her inbox. It was her and her husbands favorite past time to read and re-read
Bineshâ€™s emails. Occasional photographs that he attached in his emails would
always bring smiles to their faces. She opened his latest email with his photographs
â€œYou have put on some
weight,â€ she smiled.
Time has flown so fast. It has
already been 15 years since Binesh left home for his studies. Their happiness
was limitless when he had announced that he got a scholarship to study abroad.
It was dream come true for the whole family. She had boasted to her relatives
that her son was going abroad for study that too with a scholarship. It was not
that she was not proud anymore. She was still very happy for his progress. She
still never missed to exaggerate about his achievements whenever she was in a
gathering. And she secretly smiled when her relatives envied about it.
But in spite of all this, somewhere
buried deep inside her heart, was her wish that her son one day returns back to
live with them. Without him around, there was a kind of emptiness in the house
and in her heart. Her eyes often got watered when she saw her neighbors happily
enjoying dinner with their children around them.
She did mention to Binesh about
settling down in Nepal
during his last visit.
â€œIt is difficult to
find any job for me here anymore. There I have a good job and good pay.
Besides, the country is no more like it used to be. I would love to stay with
you all. Butâ€¦â€ Binesh had simply brushed off her idea.
â€œHe is not wrong too.
The country is no longer the same. Things have changed. It is not safe as it
used to be. He will not get a job that suits his qualifications. Moreover, how
would he survive with eight hours of daily load shedding?â€ she had comforted herself.
She had always been a strong lady.
With her husband always busy with office works, it was her who brought up
Binesh single handedly. She used to meticulously juggle her office and family
and yet she always used to carry a smile in her face. But that was long time
back. She had already retired now and with plenty of time in hand, she often
wished that she could go back to those golden days when her family was intact.
She still hated to admit that she is
getting old. But she knew it very well that she is weaker than she used to be.
Her back ace seemed to get worse every passing day. Doctorâ€™s had no answers to
her leg pain either. Years of hard work seemed to have weathered her husband as
well. Even she felt that her husband had suddenly grown old in the last couple
â€œPerhaps I should again
try to convince Binesh to move back to home,â€ she thought to herself. â€œHe sure
can find a work here or even he can start a small business. After all, so many
people are having a good life here as well,â€ she started planning.
â€œHey, you are again
dreaming in front of the Computer.â€ Her husbandâ€™s voice brought her crashing
back to the reality.
â€œThere has been an
incident. The news says that there was another bomb blast in the center of the
city. 7 people were hurt. Thank god no one was killed. I just donâ€™t understand
where this country is heading to,â€ he lamented while walking out of the room.
news shattered all the plans she had been weaving.
â€œIt is good that Binesh
stays abroad,â€ she whispered with a heavy heart. Her hands hurriedly started to
type him an email:
I hope your work is going fine. Take care of
your health. You just concentrate on your work and be happy wherever you are.
You do not need to worry about us. Both of us are very fine here.
Do write emails
sometimes. We love reading your emails.