"Historically, unlike how other people always talk about it and even though I mention in my stories, my heart never seems to sink, beat faster or implode during incidents which are life threatening, shocking, or even in case of plain surprises. It is actually my liver that bobbles up and down and then sinks all the way to my groin." Behoove, u never fail to amuse me. and these lines made me chuckle so hard I almost threw up cola I was drinking. You reminded me of Oys_chills writing from ole sajha days. Keep on writing bro and If I could weave words so beautifully I surely would too. :)

Lol reminds me of teenage infatuation. Butterflies running in stomach.

A good creation of a humble writer

Good read, enjoyed it. Keep on rockin' brother.

Few things in the world are more powerful....your every writing has that strength of captivating readers ...your skillful execution has left me mesmerised :) once again. For one more time , i commend highly of behoove WOW..THIS IS AMAZING and yes , i visited evry lane of jwalakhel when i was reading jwalakhel blues lol . Now on, my evry visit of german bakery will surely make me remember jwalakhel blues !!!

Last edited: 25-Jan-12 11:05 AM

Hi behoove_me, Good story again, but as a critic (the way you want your readers to be :) ) this one isn't at the par of your previous stories. Personally, I would have liked you to spend more time describing the characters rather than house, or places. People are always the most interesting things in any story. Perhaps a few anecdotes with your brother that will tell the reader how he "is a victor, who beats you at anything", a few more lines about him, rather than the study room with Gorkhapatra's archives? But once again your are the one author I 'follow' in Sajha, and my critique should in no way undermine your amazing writing skill, which to me is both entertaining and inspiring.

Last edited: 25-Jan-12 11:06 AM