From: www.ayogorkhali.com
June 23rd, 2026
Corrupt Cahoots Create Constant Chaos

Good Morning, Nepal!

1. The "Clean" Money Laundering Scandal
Citing his connections to middleman Deepak Bhatta, UML Vice-Chair Bishnu Paudel was arrested in Surkhet for money laundering—apparently, his 300 million rupee share portfolio was just too "clean" for the authorities to ignore. The UML, naturally, is calling this a "cheap political stunt," because in their world, looting the treasury is clearly just a creative financial strategy. One can only hope that the investigation actually sticks this time, instead of being washed away by the next wave of political maneuvering. Perhaps the real "stunt" is the audacity of a party claiming victimhood while their leaders build empires on public funds.

2. Passport to Corruption: A Billion-Rupee Paper Trail
The Commission for the Investigation of Abuse of Authority has filed cases against 18 individuals for a 10.13 billion rupee irregularity in passport printing. While it’s comforting to see the net cast wide, including two German companies and their local lackeys like Manindra Kumar Malla and Siddhartha Thapa, the exemption of former Foreign Minister Arzu Deuba—who gets a "separate investigation"—tastes like a classic escape hatch. It is truly remarkable how our systems manage to print passports with such difficulty, yet print corruption scandals with the efficiency of a high-speed press. One day, hopefully, our public institutions will serve the people rather than serving as profitable gateways for international kickbacks.

3. RSP Convention: A Grand Pause for Identity Crisis
The Rastriya Swatantra Party (RSP) decided to press the pause button on their General Convention's closed session today because they couldn't coordinate representative names or ID card distribution. It’s almost poetic that a party promising revolutionary efficiency couldn't even organize a basic attendance sheet, turning their grand spectacle into a "wait and see" comedy. Tomorrow at 7 AM, the circus resumes, provided they can find their way to the entrance without needing a secondary ID check. Let’s hope that when the doors finally open, they spend more time on policy than on their own logistical nightmares.

4. Tragic Road: A Brutal Reminder of Negligence
Three lives were tragically cut short in Bara when a motorcycle collided with a pedestrian, proving once again that our roads are death traps managed by reckless abandon. The victims included two youths on the bike and one pedestrian who was crossing the street when the speeding motorcycle hit them at Chhatapipara. It is heartbreaking that families continue to be torn apart because basic traffic safety is treated as an optional inconvenience rather than a life-saving necessity. May the families find strength, and may our leaders eventually realize that road safety is more important than their endless posturing.

5. The Boss-less Office: Payday Denied
The staff at the Special Infrastructure Operation and Management Committee have been working for three months without pay, simply because the government couldn't bother to appoint a leader to sign the checks. With 45 permanent employees stuck in this administrative limbo, the lack of delegated financial authority from the Infrastructure Ministry has left them high and dry. One wonders if the ministries are waiting for the employees to start paying the government for the privilege of working in such a dysfunctional system. Hopefully, someone finds the authority to act before these civil servants are forced to abandon their posts.

6. Global Turbulence: Starmer Calls It Quits
British Prime Minister Keir Starmer has announced his resignation following immense pressure from his own party, proving that even in the "first world," politics is just as volatile as a local ward election. He acknowledged the parliamentary party's lack of confidence in his ability to lead the next general election, choosing a graceful exit over a messy disintegration. It is a rare, almost alien sight to see a politician actually listen to the room and accept that their time is up. Meanwhile, in Nepal, our leaders seem to believe they are entitled to the throne until the very last molecule of public trust evaporates.

7. Monsoon Update: The Wet Reality
The monsoon is finally spreading across the country, officially covering Koshi, Madhesh, Bagmati, Gandaki, and parts of Lumbini after a six-day delay. While the weather department treats this like a routine bulletin, for the farmers, it is the difference between survival and starvation in a country still heavily reliant on the sky’s whims. Let’s hope the rain brings prosperity to the fields rather than the usual seasonal disaster of landslides and floods that the state remains chronically unprepared for. Nature may be late, but at least it shows up—which is more than one can say for our disaster management preparedness.

8. A Party in Denial: The UML’s "Stunt" Narrative
Beyond just the arrest, the UML has issued a formal statement from K.P. Oli calling the action against Bishnu Paudel a "political conspiracy" and a "series of attacks" on the party. By labeling the investigation a "cheap political stunt," they are effectively trying to gaslight the public into ignoring the suspicious economic transactions involving Deepak Bhatta. It takes a special kind of arrogance to witness an investigation into multi-million rupee irregularities and decide that the problem isn't the corruption, but the fact that someone noticed it. They seem convinced that if they shout "conspiracy" loud enough, the evidence will simply disappear.

9. The Passport Roll-Call: Who’s in the Dock?
To finalize the passport scandal breakdown, the 18 defendants include 10 officials from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, four directors from two German companies, and their two Nepali representatives. It is an exhaustive list that highlights how deep the rot goes when international interests and local greed collide. While the case proceeds against these 18, the public will be watching closely to see if the "separate investigation" into the former Foreign Minister leads anywhere or if it’s just a slow-motion burial of the truth. Accountability is the only cure for this level of systemic decay.
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Sita Rana
Chief Sunrise Satirist

Sita distills the daily chaos into nine bite-sized jokes so you can digest the news before your tea gets cold or the Kathmandu smog makes it impossible to see the paper.