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 Sandstorm: The Rude Awakenings Of Intercaste Relationships / Marriages
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Posted on 12-03-08 1:17 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Look brother!! I think u've been a great sufferer..to be very frank
testa kura gham ma sukaideu.. do watever u fill right..dont regret later!!
If others dont understand thats their problem not urs!!
Posted on 12-03-08 1:24 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Mcmcha, If I were a prof. and was told to grade your essay, I would surely give you an A+. Your writing skills are beautiful and I think you should surely write more pieces. Maybe something creative?

Having said that, lets get to the issue that you have raised. I would say this is an issue the people of our generation face, mainly because we are the sandwich generation. Our generation is facing rapid cultural change, and our thoughts and ideas clash highly with that of our parents because of their values which differ from ours. And we ask what shall we do?

Well that is an answer that changes from people to people. Some believe that they should go against these medieval beliefs and some believe that they should abide by their parent's wishes no matter what. I do not think we should give away our life, but I also do not believe that we should put our parents in depression for own happiness. So what is the solution? Beats me!!

Posted on 12-03-08 1:39 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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All that matters at the end is - " U ta gayo, maya marera ; Mero mann ma betha chadera!"

For some, the sun does not shine again!

Posted on 12-03-08 2:05 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Mc Sire,

Well written article/fact/fiction...... Got a perfect solution for you. Don't ever get married in that case,  choose to "live in" under the radar of parental intervention

On a serious note, I would like to reiterate the lines that you mentioned in your piece. "If parents raise their children with love, can't they be happy in their children's happiness?"

Thats right Libra
, beats the heck out of me too!

Posted on 12-03-08 2:48 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Mcm my fren,

Our feelings are mutual coz we both stand on the same boat - one such unfortunate one that did not allow us to reach the shore with the ones we 'lived' for! I understand that all we wish and desire for cannot be fulfilled, but why can it not be when there's only one thing we want?? Like u my fren, I too am left with many unanswered questions, unfulfilled dreams, crushed emotions, forgotten feelings, lonesome days and dreary nights!

I sent my knight to fight the battle, in return he comes back with his 'Queen'! I can do nothing but congratulate him on his victory! It gives me an excruciating pain to realize that I wasn't worth nothing and my significance probably might have never existed!

P.S. I still have U in my heart!

Posted on 12-03-08 2:55 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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mcmxc 's writing is wonderful and touching. I assume mcmxc understand the heart of their parent and future spouse. Com'n man can trait the jungali hatti, how mcmxc can not convince his parents. Trust me if u talk frankly to yr parents they will 100% relase u from yr tyranny. As I went thu yr writing, u r living wonderful life in imagination. Imagination gives bliss in life so be more imaginative and enjoy tremondous life !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on 12-03-08 6:05 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 12-03-08 6:48 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Depends on how you want to spend the rest of your life. We tend to listen and obey our parents a little more than what is considered "healthy". If everybody starts listening and following their parents, there will never be an end to the caste system. Youth in Nepal disagree with the caste bases biased these days, but end up doing the same thing what their parents did, and it gets passed on to their kids now.Do you seriously think it is healthy? Who do you expect to brings social changes(not political) in your country? It is not going to fall from the sky nor through Girija's political activities, you know. Also, do you want the society to dictate how you should live,eat and sleep or do you want to bring in some changes around?
I personally prefer to live the way I want. Disagreeing with your parents and going against their wishes does not necessarily make you a bad person, it just your social perspective and a belief that is injected to you by Bollywood movies.
You can disagree, my 2 cents.
Last edited: 03-Dec-08 09:04 PM

Posted on 12-04-08 10:07 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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i somehow find this blaming game baseless and silly !
C'mon ! if u have the galls to fall in love then have the balls to stick on to ur lover
Stop blaming society, parents .After all society comprises of ppl like you and me , and social norms and traditions were made up by ppl like you and me !...so, its upto you to bring on the change . As its rightly been said "be the change you want to see " !
People who blame their parents and society for their so called unsuccessful love life are nothing but timid cowards who take an easy way out .

Posted on 12-04-08 10:12 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Don't wait for change to happen.

Be the change.

-Mahatma Gandhi


Posted on 12-04-08 11:25 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Piggy, Couldn't have said better.

Blame not the society. Not the parents. Neither you!

Ask your significant other. Is your bond strong enough, you can make a change? If not, wait! Make it stronger and then make the change.

If one falls apart , it wasn't mutual at all. No blaming game again. It simply wasnt. No whining.

If you make the change, see the world around. You stand out! If not, even you stand out .. at least you've an outstanding mindset to accept the change!

Posted on 12-04-08 11:39 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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your piece raises a question that our generation constantly ask themselves. There are two things that I will like to mention.
First, if we look at the history of the United States, 40 years ago if a white girl married a black man, you would be ostracized by your family. I am talking about general perception here. Things have certainly changed and thus give it a 30 or so years and inter-caste marriage would be no biggie.
 Now, to get to your real question about why our parents feel queasy about accepting a bride or groom from another caste, I believe it has to do with what sociologist call mores.

Quoting Wiki "Mores derive from the established practices of a society rather than its written laws. They consist of shared understandings about the kinds of behavior likely to evoke approval, disapproval, toleration or sanction, within particular contexts."
source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mores

Yes it is the very foundation of our parents mores that causes them to discriminate when they see their children attached to someone from a different caste. And sociologist believe, mores are one of the hardest, if not impossible things to change. It's something ingrained inside you. Thus this discrimination is ingrained in our culture. Our parents grew up with a strong influence of the caste system. They cannot change themselves even if they want to. But do mores change? Of course! Slavery was once considered normal in the US but it's considered inhumane now. And your article just proves that your mores are different from your parents.

Now, the second.
You said
"Would you, at the behest of our customary beliefs, rather see your children writhe in a life-long pain of separation from their loving halves or, justly embrace the love of your children and let them live a happy life of their choosing."
What you were trying to get at is a person might be in love with someone from a different caste and it's their right to be together and happy. Let me play the devil's advocate.
Think about it in terms of your parents happiness as well. You know that your parents will be somewhat troubled when you marry someone from a different caste. May be they will always be unhappy with your decision and never accept you. It's against their mores. By making yourself happy, you have compromised your parents happiness.
The question then is what is the morally right thing to do? If you think that your happiness is the only one that matters, then you are being selfish. 

If you want to approach the issue in terms of the Utilitarian theory of ethics, it says the morally right thing to do is to do what makes the 'most utility.' In other words make most people happy. That means not only your parents, but your relatives might be pissed. The community you live in might be angry. But that's in the short term. But, in the long run, when we have people from different castes and race working together, the society will be well off.
It has been proved time and again that a society will be prosperous if we do not have discrimination.

Thus, my opinion on the issue is that our society needs some time before they accept inter-caste marriage. The change has already started and it will continue.

Posted on 12-04-08 12:42 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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My utmost respect towards ur thoughts! And I confess as subjective as this matter can be, you left me wondering with a question - 'While we keep on sacrificing to make most people happy, will it not obliterate the significance of 'LOVE' itself slowly from heart/s and later from the world???'

I might be wrong...

Last edited: 04-Dec-08 01:43 PM

Posted on 12-04-08 2:20 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 12-04-08 4:16 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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C'mon ! if u have the galls to fall in love then have the balls to stick on to ur lover

Posted on 12-04-08 6:46 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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how can you even thought of loving from other caste.........even worse marrying.

for example bahun don't eat beef while sherpas eat beef.

so you do the equation.

secondly rai/limbu buried their loves after they depart Others cremate.

2nd equation.

so stop this rubbish thread.


yours truly,



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