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 Amby Writes :- My Commitment Story

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Posted on 07-18-16 11:11 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Last year January, when I walked out of my then relationship, I thought I would cry and create a drama for myself. But to my own utter surprise, I felt elevated and lighter at heart. It was an end of a bitter sweet ( to be honest, digustingly bitter at the end) chapter of my life. At the same time it is another beginning of yet another chapter which needed to be explored. Did I miss him? No, I didn't. I was a lot more happier being alone.

Again, being alone can get tricky at times. I have seen a lot of times, people coming out of a bad relationship and getting into a worse one. I call it “ Coming out of crap, and getting yourself into shit”. I was somewhere ready for it but I told myself, I will not under any circumstances will be unfair to myself this time around. So where did this word “ unfair” come from in this context? When you go beyond your capacity of tolerating the shit, the other person gives you and you are miserable but still you hang on to it, that act is called being unfair to yourself. Being so head strong, I have been unfair to myself in the past. I don't want to make that same mistake again. Now, it will not be a mistake but a choice I will make.

Coming back to my singlehood. Do I want to get into a relationship right away? OH hell yea!!! Am I ready? I dont know. My friends wanted me to go out with their friends who are single. My family members were trying to hook me up with a guy. Some people were bullying me that I should get married before I lose the left over charm I got on my face and body. And I was just giving myself time, to decide what do I want to do with my life.
A bad relationship scares you to your cores to hop on to another one. You become cynical about the outcomes and the sour experiences you have to go through. I saw people getting married, falling in and out of love, committing to each other. That made me ponder, why cant people get into a committed relationship with self first and then maybe venture out. So in March, the same year, I put on a ring on my ring finger and committed to myself, to love, to be fair, to take care of myself as a person I love and how much affection I want to show to him/ her. This week, it has been one and a half year of my commitment. I celebrate my anniversary of putting myself as a priority, as “my first priority”. Over 365 days of loving myself had actually feels good. That, even if I feel bad, when things dont go the way I want, I know I have the strong me holding my hands and saying “it is ok, we will work it out together”.
I have survived an earthquake, uncountable aftershocks, 2 major operations (in one, I nearly became LATE), numerous failed plans, some heartaches, some disappointments, couple of back stabs and severe mood swings (thanks to my 2 operations which pretty much made me a mad woman). I look back and I say woah! That is an eventful, joyride u had. I remember, giving up after my second operation, because I thought I will be like most of the people I have seen after an operation, how fragile they become and vulnerable to everything. But I look at myself and say, I did pretty good. Now, I look at the untanned skin below my ring and say I love myself more. I am addicted to pampering myself more. I have become, I wont say selfish but, I am my biggest priority. People have asked me you have changed, you look more beautiful. DUH! I have always been beautiful, but it is exactly like being in love for the first time and having that glow and spark on your personality. Love and respect yourself and the world will fall for it. Right now when I go on a date, I dont worry if that guy is liking me or not, coz I know there is someone who already likes and adores me the most. Like Jerry Mcguire said “you complete me”, I say, “I complete myself”. That does not mean I want to be isolated but it means I am ready to go out and love someone, if it doesnt work, well I am committed to myself anyway!

(I have taken the ring off now since I am so habitual to loving and taking care of myself that I dont need a reminder. )
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Posted on 07-19-16 10:22 PM     [Snapshot: 521]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Reading your blog above, I picture you in front of a large mirror (though I don't know how you look like), in your birthday suit, adoring admiring yourself. Am I too far off? ;)
Last edited: 19-Jul-16 10:23 PM

Posted on 07-19-16 10:46 PM     [Snapshot: 540]     Reply [Subscribe]
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hahaha jerryswari

It is bad to appreciate self??? birthday suit or not......its all about loving yourself hoina ra??
Posted on 07-20-16 8:17 AM     [Snapshot: 649]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 07-20-16 8:29 AM     [Snapshot: 643]     Reply [Subscribe]
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मेरी प्यारी एम्बी, मैले सोजोब्रोको कुरामा माइन्ड गरेको छुइन ! हो एम्बी ...सोजोब्रोले हजुरलाई धेरै माया गर्न हुन्छ ! तेही भएर त् हजुरले मलाई मिठो कमेन्ट गरेको आरिश लागेर टुप्लुक्क आइपुगे ! तर एम्बी अब मैले नि हजुरलाई धेरै माया गर्ने भैसके है ! तेसैले सोजोकटोब्रोको माया फेरी पाउन भएर मलाई तिरष्कार गर्न त् हुन्न होला नि हजुरले ! नगरिदिनुस न ल ?

खासमा चै म दिउसो लन्च ब्रेकमा कामबाट डेरामा खाना खान जान्छु ! अनि तेही बेला येसो साझामा कमेन्ट नि गर्छु ! तर हिजो चै हजुरलाइ रिप्लाई मार्न नपाकोले अफिसको कम्पिउतर इउज गरेको ! तेही भएर रिस्क लिंदै हजुरलाइ रिप्लाई मारेको नि !

हो एम्बी ! मैले अस्ति साझालाइ "ह्याक" गरिदेको थिए ! एउटा पुरै दिन साझा अल्मोस्ट शट डाउन सरह भाको थियो ! अब देखि गर्दिन एम्बी ! धन्न साझाले मलाई ब्यान गर्दिन भएँन ! साझाले ब्यान गर्दिन भाको भए मैले मेरी प्यारी एम्बीसंग कहिले नि कुरा गर्न पाउने थिएँन ! मैले कति धेरै मिस गर्ने थिए होला मेरी एम्बीलाइ !

"who do you choose as the most precious one for you if you have to choose among kali priyanka, unknown mercynova or sweet ambrosia?"

एस्तो बम्फुसे प्रश्न नगर न तिमि पनि सोजोकटो ब्रो ! मलाई मेरी प्यारी प्रियाँकाजी, प्यारी मर्सि अनि स्विट एम्बी उतिक्कै बराबर प्रिसियोस लाग्छ ! अब तिम्रो दुइ हात, दुइ खुट्टामा ल एउटा मात्र कुन प्रिसियोस छ चुज गर, अरु चै काटी दिन्छु भन्यो भने एउटा मात्र चुज गर्छौ कि सबै हात खुट्टा चुज गर्छौ ? हो तेस्तै प्रश्न हो तिम्रो पनि ! यी तिनै स्विटहार्टहरुले मलाई कम्प्लिट बनाउछ ! अल थ्री कम्प्लिमेंट्स माइ लाइफ ..बुझेउ ?

अनि मेरी प्यारी प्रियाँकाजी काली हुनुहुन्छ ? [नट ड्यट इत म्यात्तर्स] फोटोमा त कस्तो गोरी देखिन हुन्छ नि ?

Posted on 07-20-16 9:12 AM     [Snapshot: 682]     Reply [Subscribe]
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no more crush,

when I purrr....I hear ROOOOARRR lol ;)

Posted on 07-20-16 9:14 AM     [Snapshot: 686]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nas jyu,

tyo hacking sacking jasto unethical kaam na garnus na plz....sacchi bhaneko....tapai ko talent aru katai use garna sakincha ki bhanney sochnus baru....aana tapai nachahinekaam garey pacchi Amby ko namm pani tyo sanga jodincha ni hoina ra?
Posted on 07-20-16 9:42 AM     [Snapshot: 702]     Reply [Subscribe]
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एम्बी... ह्याकरहरु पनि धेरै खालि हुन्छ नि.. ब्ल्याक ह्याट, व्हाइट ह्याट, ग्रे ह्याट ... आदि ! ब्ल्याक ह्याटहरु चै अनेथिकल, क्रिमिनल हुन्छन ! म त् खालि ग्रीन ह्याट हो एम्बी.. सिकारु ! अनि मैले साझामा भएको कमजोरी देखाउनको लागि मात्र "ह्याक" गरेको हो एम्बी ! साझालाइ हानि पुर्याउन होइन नि ! मैले चाहेको भए त्यो दिन जो जो साझामा आउंथ्यो उनीहरुको सिस्टममा भाइरस वा माल्वेर लोड गरिदिने साइटमा पठाईदिन पनि सक्थे ! तर म तेस्तो अनेथिकल छुइन नि !

"A white hat hacker is a computer security specialist who breaks into protected systems and networks to test and asses their security. White hat hackers use their skills to improve security by exposing vulnerabilities before malicious hackers (known as black hat hackers) can detect and exploit them."

"I am ready to go out and love someone"

एम्बी अनि हजुरले अब हुने नया रिलेसनमा हजुरको प्रेमीकोमा कस्तो क्वालिटी खोज्न हुन्छ ? इज देर एनी स्पेसिफिक त्रेट्स इउ लुक फोर इन हिम ?

Posted on 07-20-16 12:07 PM     [Snapshot: 751]     Reply [Subscribe]
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amby - sojoketo never wrote anything which indicates amby le kei naramro gareki chin
sojoketo le amby lai naramro banaune kura pani katai garna sakcha ta?

'cause he admires you, he likes you, he talks good of you, it doesn't mean he couldn't be a bad one. he could be good one for you but worst for all. now if one cares good things for ownself only and don't mind bad stuff to others then its' a different story

Nas, my question was not insensible.
and your analogy of choosing hands or legs is senseless.. why don't you admit you can't make a decision.
BTW, Sojoketo always chooses heart over hands and legs
Be a man like sojoketo, sojoketo only chooses ambrosia..even over margot robbie (although ambrosia doesn't choose sojoketo.. :) :) never mind)

amby, timilai compare gareko ho ta? the person who is part of heart can't be compared with anyone else. (:P ..flattering)

anyways, i don't hate Nasey. i like Nasey too although he sounds like a dirty, nasty, ugly, short, fat, creepy pig. :) no offense Nasey.

तर जे होस् समयले नै मलाई हिल गरिदियो ! नेपाल जाँदा उनलाई भेटेको थिए ! अनि मैले मेरो घिनलाग्दो बेव्हारको लागि माफी माग्दा उनले आँखा भरि आँशु पोख्दै, सबै उनको गल्ति थियो..म जस्तो मान्छेलाइ पिडा दिन नहुने भनेर भनेकी थिए ! हामी दुवैले एक अर्कालाई क्षमा गरिदिसक्यो एम्बी ! शायेद मेरो भाग्यमा उनि लेखेकी थिएँन रहेछ !

and this one touches sojoketo's heart. man dukyo if it is really true..yes mero bhagyema pani mero first love lekheko rahenca and i lost her due to my mistakes..tehi bela dekhi ta ma sojo sojoketo bhako ho.. :)
Last edited: 20-Jul-16 12:09 PM

Posted on 07-20-16 8:11 PM     [Snapshot: 882]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nas jyu,
aaba qualities nai khojera hidyo bhane ta khassai kehi hola jasto lagena hai....but yea shud be understanding and loyal....tyo chahi must must must have!!!

tyo mero personal view ho.....Nas is bad for everyone but if he is good to me...I think it works for me....coz think of it....if he is nice to the world and not nice to me....do u think in anyway i will like him?? theekai chha duniya lai ramro malai chahi gali galoch...ma sahera baschu.....NOOOOO not me sorry.
aaba sabai le decision afno hisab le lincha...... Nas le pick na garey ni malai taha chha k usko heart ko ho bhanera.....so he doesnt need to declare it :P
Posted on 07-20-16 10:56 PM     [Snapshot: 929]     Reply [Subscribe]
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oho..testo rude reply..never mind..sojoketo is always calm and cool..
yea!! it's all about preference.
sojoketo likes to follow the right thing than the wrong.
sojoketo doesn't mind being disliked and hated by a good one rather than being liked and loved by a bad one.
glad! amby not even likes sojoketo
lol..feeling relieved :) :)

Posted on 07-21-16 6:57 AM     [Snapshot: 984]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Harey! Sojoketo
Ma rude bhayeko hoina.....it is just mero point of view ho k....He had never been rude to me....so obviously I will have a liking.....again I said it is personal preference!
It is not about acceptance or rejection.....we all are friends here and we all have opinions....which will differ at times teti ho :)
And YES! thank you for making me feel sooo special!
Posted on 07-21-16 10:43 AM     [Snapshot: 1047]     Reply [Subscribe]
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म मेरी एम्बीसंग कहिले रुड बिहेब गर्न सक्दिन ! मलाई एम्बीको सारो माया लाग्छ ...के गर्ने ! झन् मेरी एम्बीको तेस्तो क्रिटिकल अप्रेशनको कुरा सुनेर मेरो मन सार्है भारि भाको थियो ! बिचरी मेरी गुलाबको फुल जस्ती कमोलो एम्बीले येति योङ्ग एजमा नै किन तेस्तो सारो सास्ती खेप्न परेको भनेर मेरो मन सारो दुख्यो ! मेरी एम्बीलाइ बरु मेरो नै उमेर लागोस ! मेरी एम्बीले जीवनमा कहिले दुखः नपावोस भनेर म मेरो भोलेनाथसंग सधै प्रार्थना गर्नेछु !

मेरो एम्बी डेटिंग जान लाग्न भाको कुरो सुनेर खुसि नि लाग्यो ...तर मनको कुनै कुनामा अलि अलि सारो नि पर्यो ! खुसि किन लाग्यो भने ...मेरी एम्बीले नया सम्बन्धको मिठो शुरुआत गर्दै हुनुहुन्छ ... तर दुर्भाग्य मेरो... मैले त्यो मौका चै नपाउने भो भनेर.... ! तर मलाई लाग्छ येदि मेरी एम्बीले मलाई डेट गर्न भाको भए.... आइ कुड मेक हर एण्ड अल हर सर्चेस....एण्ड फल फर मि ... आइ थिङ्क शि वुड लभ मि डियेरली ....
Posted on 07-21-16 11:37 PM     [Snapshot: 1184]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nas jyu,
lol aahile chahi ali badhi nai guliyo bho!!!! ali kaam garne ki PDA???
Posted on 07-21-16 11:53 PM     [Snapshot: 1190]     Reply [Subscribe]
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यो थ्रड पुरै पढ्न शन्चरबार नै कुर्न पर्छ होला ! बाई दि वे , ambrosia नानी को लेख देख्दा निकै स्मार्ट हुनुहुन्छ जस्तो छ , स्मार्ट , सेक्सी , विट पोजिटिभ एटिटुड , कुरो .... नो अफेन्स !!!

आइ लाइकस ईत 😄
Last edited: 21-Jul-16 11:54 PM
Last edited: 21-Jul-16 11:55 PM

Posted on 07-22-16 12:58 AM     [Snapshot: 1219]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sanibar ani aaiteybar pani hai.....yo thread ma Nas jyu ko maya ko gatha lekhiyeko chha....lol....sayad mero pani.
attitude bhaneko aafule banaune ho jasto lagcha.....ma try garchu positive rahana.....smart chahi taha chaina hai.....positivity le chahi jeewan ma kehi kura jhelna lai dherai sahayog garcha....mero experience ho.

thank you for liking I hope to keep you all entertained with my writings!
Posted on 07-27-16 12:15 AM     [Snapshot: 1522]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sorry to say you sound too much of a self absorb bitch and im sure you are controlling too..you dont may be let guys be who they are,so they run away!!and insecure too how you reflecting your writing..you need to calm your tits down desparado..you say you loved yourself and say right now when i go on a datte..how many dates do you need to find yourself..may be you ha e all the wrong expectation..or else trust me if you so nice you wouldnt even talk..you sound pathetic to talk like this here..go remind yourself all of these in your journal..your bitchiness is contagious to me too
Posted on 07-27-16 12:39 AM     [Snapshot: 1534]     Reply [Subscribe]
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LOL.....super LOL....yes I am a self obsessed Narcissist bitch.....I accept that :P
Posted on 07-27-16 9:19 AM     [Snapshot: 1606]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Amby,Ihatehotdogs must be the same guy whose balls and hot dog u busted other day.
Posted on 07-27-16 11:30 AM     [Snapshot: 1652]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Very uncalled for. Shame on you Ihatehotdogs. Sounds like you have been getting a lot of rejections from the opposite sex and came here to vent it out behind the keyboard.
Posted on 07-27-16 1:20 PM     [Snapshot: 1689]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well yes guys lets assume im the once who lack self respect in here.. Im sure ambrosia surely attracts flies like you..zero self respect!! Its amazing what you learn what you never been taught..yall really are in the right posiiton to reciprocate ambrosia energy!! go on follow vulnerability

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