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 कबिता, प्रार्थना र बाचाकसम
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Posted on 05-08-20 10:49 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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यहाँ कबिता पढ्ने कमै आउछन, तर कसैलाई interest भए। यो पहिले मैले english मा लेखेको थिए, John Denver को एउटा गीत छ, "Poems, Prayers, and Promises" भन्ने, तेही गीत को सेरोफेरोमा रहेर मैले कुनै समयमा लेखेको थिए, आज मैले नेपाली उल्था गर्दा कस्तो सुनिन्छ भनेर try गर्दैछु। 


कबिता, प्रार्थना र बाचाकसम 
हरेक पटक ....... 
मेरो खुशीले आफ्नो पखेटा खोल्छ 
लुकेर आउछ दुर्भाग्य 
दिन्छ एक मुक्का 
मेरो मुखैको बीचमा 
कबिता, प्रार्थना र बाचाकसम प्रती 
मेरा विश्वाशहरु छर्-पस्टिन्छन। 
अनिश्चित बन्छ मेरा भविस्य। 
जाने कतै ठाउँ नपाएर 
अकालमै मर्छ मेरो खुशी को आत्मा। 
 ------------X-------------- 

सधैं कुटिल नै छ मेरो भावी 
मेरा सपनाहरुमाथी, 
अनी मेरो एक्लो मुटु प्रती। 
मैले ओत लिने ठाउँहरु प्रती। 
आकन्क्षाहरु बिलाएर जान्छन, 
मेरो एउटै अस्तित्वलाई बेइज्जत गर्दै। 
पछाडिबाट घात गर्दै 
मेरा खुट्टाहरु बाधीन्छन, 
म हिंड्न नसक्दा 
जिबनले कयौ झटकाहरु भोग्छ। 
एउटा जिउदो मुटुले, सहन्छ पिडा, 
हर दिशाबाट 
हर तरिकाबाट। 
 ------------X-------------- 

हरेक पटक........ 
बचाएर राखेका आशाहरुले 
आफ्नो मौका गुमाउछन। 
अनन्त प्रयासहरुको बावजुद। 
छोडिजान्छ असहाय, 
मेरो बाङगेको भावी सङै 
मेरो अनिस्चितताहरुको शहरमा, 
जहाँ डर निराशामा 
परिणत हुन्छ, 
जहाँ अरु साना खुशीहरु 
बाँच्न सक्तैनन। 
म प्रयास गर्छु धेरै, 
छरपस्टिएकाहरुलाई 
समेट्न। 
तर म शन्का गर्छु अझैपनी 
मान्छेले बनाएका 
सबै ती विश्वाशका आधारहरुलाई, 
जसलाई सबैले बोलाउछन, 

कबिता, प्रार्थना र बाचाकसम भन्दै, 
कबिता, प्रार्थना र बाचाकसम भन्दै,
Last edited: 08-May-20 10:53 PM
Last edited: 08-May-20 10:59 PM

 
Posted on 05-09-20 5:16 AM     [Snapshot: 82]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Good Read!
Last edited: 13-May-20 12:22 PM

 
Posted on 05-09-20 11:01 PM     [Snapshot: 185]     Reply [Subscribe]
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रड्डी भन्नुभयो किन होला? अलिकती briefing गर्नुस् न। म कबि त हैन। तैपनी try गर्दै नि।

(only if you ain't Underwear ) मलाई शन्का लागि राछ।
 
Posted on 05-09-20 11:18 PM     [Snapshot: 198]     Reply [Subscribe]
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It's good ... but, nothing new .. that's what life is!

it seems, people are more inclined to like a little bit of absurdity like :
सालको पातको टपरि हुनि, नहुनि सल्लैको
तिम्रो माया कति छ कति, नलाउ पछि हल्लैको ;)
 
Posted on 05-10-20 12:24 AM     [Snapshot: 226]     Reply [Subscribe]
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हजुर आनन्द सर,
मैले कबिता पोस्ट गरेर सबले तारिफै तारिफ गरोस भनेर कहिले सोच्दिन, अनी तपाईंले भन्नु भाको सही लाग्यो, people are inclined to absurdity बिशेष गरेर साझामा चै।
रड्डी छ भनेर किन रड्डी भनेको होला चै लागेको थियो। अझै केही change गर्न मिल्छ कि भनेर नी।
Thank you for reading
 
Posted on 05-10-20 12:52 AM     [Snapshot: 240]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Ananda ji, sanchhai hunu hunchha?
Last edited: 13-May-20 12:23 PM

 
Posted on 05-10-20 1:02 AM     [Snapshot: 255]     Reply [Subscribe]
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मैले पहिले नै भनेको थिए यो पहिले english मा थियो। मैले उल्था गर्दा कतै कतै it can sound drastic तै पनि english पोस्ट गर्दैछु, अनी मैले किन त्यस्तो गरे हुंला please हेर्नुहोला र फेरी comment गर्नुहोला।

Poems, prayers and promises

Every time……
Happiness tries to spread its wings
Disguised, comes a misfortune
Serves a massive blow
Right on the face
Shatters my beliefs on
Poems, prayers and promises,
And all that keep one going
Precarious turns the future
With nowhere to go and hide
My sense of joy dies young………

Ever vicious have been the ways,
To my dreams,
And the lonesome heart, I own
And the places, soul resorts to
Aspirations then fade away,
Belittling the sole existence
Backstabbing all of my plans
Feet chained up,
Unable to move on
As my life faces a series of setbacks
A warm heart, thus, gets victimized
In every possible nasty way

Each time……
Long saved optimism
Loses its chance,
After it tries persistently
Leaves me helpless
At my own twisted fate,
And the world of uncertainties,
Where daunting furthers to depressing
Deprived of all the small pleasures,
I tried so hard to assemble
Myself stand,
Doubting on all that keep one going,
And on man made,
All those codes of beliefs

Referred always, in and as
Poems, prayers and promises…..

(The poem is inspired by a John Denver’s song. This is a small attempt to delve differently into the main theme and the title of his song.)

 
Posted on 05-10-20 6:55 PM     [Snapshot: 351]     Reply [Subscribe]
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The last time I listened to John Denver might have been in my +2 days. A friend of mine sang “Country road take me home” in one of those +2 Welcome party. That’s when I first dug into John Denver. My favorite Jon Denver’s song has to be Sunshine on my shoulders. A peaceful song to hum with your guitar and recall your past memories with a pinch of nostalgia. The title “Poems, prayers, and Promises” seems to resonate a powerful message of hope, belief, and gracefulness without actually digging into the lyrics (just the title itself).

Anyways coming back to your creation, I thought maybe I can recook it a bit differently without losing its actual taste or let’s say without actually changing the actual words, leaving it as it is, although I did try to add a bit of my own. I hope I didn’t offend. I haven’t written any poems since my school days may be cos of my lack of interest or time or my own negligence. So, after reading your poem, I thought maybe I can relate to it in some way, I figured, might as well give it a shot to reshuffle it a bit.

Every time happiness strives to spread its wings
Comes a misfortune so disguised
Serving a massive blow on the face
Shattering my beliefs on poems, prayers, and promises

And all that keeps one going
Precariousness has its ways turning my future
With nowhere to hide
My sense of joy dies young...

A vicious blow graces my dreams
The places my soul resorts to
And this lonesome heart of mine
While these aspirations slowly fade away

As my life faces all these unpleasant setbacks
Belittling my sole existence and backstabbing all my plans
With my feet chained up unable to move on
Oh how this warm heart of mine has become a victim

Every time, my guarded optimism dies, despite all the persistence
Leaving me helpless at my own twisted fate
In the world of uncertainties
Depressed, and deprived of all the little pleasures

And I try, I try so hard
To assemble myself and stand
Against all the doubts that keeps one going
Amongst these man-made codes of beliefs

 
Posted on 05-11-20 1:14 AM     [Snapshot: 441]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hi looper Sir,
Thank you for reshuffling the poem. I do not mind it at all! In fact, I get to see through your point of view as well. I liked the way you condensed the lines, and shortened some of the redundancies. This was an old work, lost in cloud somewhere. Just documented what I was thinking at that time while listening to John Denver.
I wished I had known before about this great singer in my life, but I learnt about him only after coming out of Nepal. I heard it somewhere that if anybody wants to learn guitar chords or learn singing or English, he is the ultimate guide to follow, but that may be relative thing again.
"Poems, prayers and promises", the title has that charm I think they call it as 'alliteration' where all the words start with a same 'p'. Sounds good to ears and is catchy so to speak and singers do that to get the attention of listeners right away. But while I was trying hard to translate them to Nepali, I think I had my moments of 'lost in translation'. But it's okay. I am not a professional poet.
But thanks again for spending some time.
Cheers
 
Posted on 05-11-20 1:37 AM     [Snapshot: 445]     Reply [Subscribe]
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पेपेसिल्वा जि,
Thank you for your analysis. मैले ट्राइ गरेको हो, अब phony सुनियो भन्नु भयो। मैले सोच्दा धेरै जस्तो नेपालीमा लेखेको कबिताहरुमा भावुकता बढी हुन गयो भने they dont sound real म मान्छु। अब तपाईंले भन्नु होल तेसरि को बोल्छ अहिले को time मा त्यो पनि। bogus सुनिनुको reasons छन। किन भने हामी दैनिक जिबनमा त्यस्तो language use गरेर बोल्दैनम, धेरै कारणले, हत्तार, समय को अभाव, बदलिदो time अनी abstract कुरा गर्ने फुर्सद नहुनु आदी।
अब साझामा आएर यस्तो कबिता पढि बस्ने मान्छेको मन पनि हुन्न र patience पनि हुन्न। तपाईंले पढेर analysis गरिदिनु भयो, धन्यवाद। punctuation को गड्बडी हुन सक्छ, I agree अनी डट् डट राख्नु को कारण चै pause लिन खोजेको थिए। intentional break लिना ट्राइ गर्दा maybe it didnot work
spontaneous भर powerful overflow of emotions भएन होला। I will keep in mind next time
तर I dont agree जुन तपाईंले भन्नु भयो नि poetry is dead anyways भनेर, त्यो चै I beg to disagree अलिकती आफ्नो horizon broaden गर्ने हो कि। म यहाँ तपाईंलाई लामो लामो lecture दिन चाहन्न तर तपाईंले लेख्नु हुन्न भनेर अरु कसैले पनि लेख्तैनन भन्ने सोच्नु चै भएन हो।
 
Posted on 05-11-20 3:20 AM     [Snapshot: 471]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I am sure there is some confusion ensuing here. What's happening again?
Last edited: 13-May-20 12:24 PM

 
Posted on 05-11-20 4:26 PM     [Snapshot: 531]     Reply [Subscribe]
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गज्जब राम्रो कविता, मन पर्यो,
 


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