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 Inspired by SUM_OFF by Aug25,1997
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Posted on 08-01-07 2:25 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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He came to us in sept 2001.., Meena, his girl friend was still in Nepal...time goes by…...he works his butt off, finishes his school, finds a good job and went back to Nepal and got married to his sweat heart, Meena.….He think he is the luckiest person in the world. Becasue of strikes and Nepal Bandhs, his newly wife could not apply VISA on time so he had to came alone. He already had his VISA takencare from Canada…. His wife applies for VISA after a month and she gets it. IT is not that hard to get VISA for H1 dependant….He is so happy thinking he will be reunited with his wife soon...He moves to a better apartment, buys new stuffs to adorn his home…. Plazma TV, couch and whole nine yard... The day comes, He cooks dinner at home which is very rare….He knows dinner did not turn out to be that great but he wanted to surprise Meena by cooking dinner on his own. Meena knows very well that he is too lazy to cook food….” IT would be a good surprise”, he thinks…..he buys dozens of roses and spreads it all over the house as if this is his “SUHAG RAAT” he lites candles…many candle…vanila, cherry…all flavor and he drives to airport to pick his wife.....Plane Landed...one by one all passenger checks out....but he can't find her..he is worried...what happened!!! Suddenly his phone rings, its her...he is very reliefed to hear her voice and answers the phone....What happened? where are you? He is very anxious to know where she is and why is she not on that plance... "NOTHIN happened, I am in New York with Ramesh." He hears her flat and cold voice….he knows immediately there is something wrong… He somehow manages to ask her,” Ramesh SITAULA? Who used to live right next to your house in Kathmandu? who got DV 2 years ago? She speaks further "YES same ramesh, you know him…Timi Nepal chodepachi ma sarai nai eaklo bhaye, mummy le sadhai bihe garna pressure dinu hunthyo… I needed someone to talk to..you know, some one to lean on, you were so busy with your studies…..hamilai thaha nai bhayena kati bela hai ek aarka lai maan parauna thalau…….he was selected on DV lottary…It was already too late to add my name on it…and you know Ramesh Left to New York…I was so sad I asked to myself why it is me who has to be lonely all the time…. Sorry, I took your help to come here.I always wanted to tell you about me and Ramesh but I never got right time and circumstances…and then Ramesh suggested me this plan to come here…with his GC, I still had to wait until he gets his citizenship to come here….I couldn’t wait that long…hope you understand… “Understand?” he tries to utter this word but his throat betrays him and it evaporates before Meena could hear anything…. …………..She kept speaking but He cant hear a thing any further...He felt as if a jumbo jet flew right next to his ears……… ********************************************************************
Posted on 08-01-07 2:30 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 08-01-07 2:42 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Guys, I am not a writer at all....never wrote before...I am at work now...Server is down so nothing to do... this is just byproduct of dead server...Hope you "UNDERSTAND?"..
Posted on 08-01-07 3:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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awesome !! every man woman child for themself re kya :P
Posted on 08-02-07 12:20 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Just 3 ppl commented on my work...!!!
Posted on 08-02-07 5:01 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I regret that couldn't read this earlier...bypassed my wandering eyes!! Nice twist to the story mate...Was the event real?? I know of someone who had a similar experience a few years ago in Mass! Can't believe the extremes people go to use another's naivity for their own selfish purpose. However, a lil more work needed with the flow and also need a pinch of humor here and there if you wanna be truly inspired by sum-off. Anyway, a good read and keep posting!
Posted on 08-02-07 5:50 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks Samsara...!! Nah, story wasn't real but it could happen to anyone.. Definitely flow and humor is lacking. I think I don’t know when to pull the string yet… But I wrote this story in an hour...My apology for not proofreading thoroughly.
Posted on 08-03-07 2:13 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Bullsh...story. Doesnot have any theme, plot,story structure or any setting on it. Its the worst children stories ihave even encounterd with. Wholesale Summary
Posted on 08-03-07 4:30 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Wholesale, wtf? So why don't you post yours, Mr. smartazz?? The dude here gets an A for EFFORT as it apparantly is his first time delving into the finer art of composing stories and instead of criticising him in that manner, you could let him know where he falters and any remedies possible for his ailing work of art (in your viewpoint). Constructive criticism is whats needed instead of negativity that I've been seeing in all your posts around sajha. BTW, why don't you write yours before you make such a harsh judgement on something that has someone else's much dedicated effort and time spent. If you ain't got talent yourself, who are you to comment on the ones who have? Damn, you're a friggin riot!!
Posted on 08-03-07 8:30 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Samsara ...u make me laugh (not in a bad way:P)... i don't know why..but i find it funny how you say what you have to say:D U Rock!!! Say it like it is!! :-)
Posted on 08-03-07 9:41 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Cerine, just trying to let the ones who are providing us with original stories/poems/articles (may or may not be great) know that their effort is being well received by us here. As in this case, not a masterpiece or even all that good piece but this guy definitely has come up with a story that the Nep Diaspora could relate to. Though he lacks a little flow and some originality in the grammar/structure, that could be improved by a little more proof-reading and editing. I've always believed that constructive ctrticism is what the writer/sports-player/employee needs in order to work upon his/her weaknesses. BTW, I feel it is a sajha-right to defend anyone who is doing us all favor by posting their original works for our pleasure. And I say nay to all haterzzz!!
Posted on 08-03-07 11:45 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks a lot Samsara for backing me up. I will definately put better effort next time.. By the way I am not disapointed with wholesale's comment rather it was expected... Thanks guys.
Posted on 08-03-07 12:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Who knows what happened. We all know these Arab countries treat poor workers, especially Nepalese because our representatives to these countries (Ambassadors??) have done nothing to support own countryman. These Arabs can beat you or even Jail you for asking very basic human rights. I WON’T BE SURPRISED IF THEY KILLED HIM OVER SOME DISPUTE AND ALTER THE CRIME SCHNE AND IT”S NOT THAT HARD FOR THEM TO SIMPLY PLANT COUPLE OF LETTERS. I do not know wheatear letters were written in English, Nepali or Arabic. It does not matter if he could read or write English/Arabic because they are the one who will do so called investigations….
Posted on 08-03-07 1:06 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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August, I was a bit confused about the relationship between HIM, Meena and Ramesh. However, your last line "…………..She kept speaking but He cant hear a thing any further...He felt as if a jumbo jet flew right next to his ears……… " was a very original metaphor and a great ending to your story. Keep writing!
Posted on 08-03-07 1:25 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks Sitara, He and Meena were gf bf in Nepal. He went to US for Studies and then Meena and Ramesh Fell in Love.

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