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Sajha Gazer
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Posted on 02-14-08 9:09
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The story has been moved to the blog section for purposes of future editing and re-writing (edits currently expire after 90 days in this section).
Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks once again to all for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Last edited: 13-May-08 10:51 PM
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geico
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Posted on 02-25-08 3:22
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A great post indeed and I really enjoyed reading it. What kept me sticking to the story is its seamless and relentless drift that would simply appeal the readers. The write derserves browine point for meticulously knitting every bit of information to give the story everything it takes to be a good story. And, we all know we all learn from mistakes and in that front I am totally with Marigold. A good writer can never afford to ignore constructive comments from his/her readers and it always does good if not best when he/she can ingeniously harmonize the technical details within the story. I do mean no offence but I would like to earmark something I felt little awkward. Your wrote " Her father had provided her with living and tuition expenses for a year. By then, she would become eligible for graduate assistantship and work off-campus to support herself." Isn't graduate assistantship an on-campus job and why would one on graduate assistantship work off-campus to support oneself? Well, I beg my pardon if I am missing the point here. All in all a good read. 
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Sajha Gazer
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Posted on 02-25-08 8:59
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Marigold:
Thanks for the feedback. That part of Ashim's story, specifically having to do with his medical studies and certification in the US, is based on anecdotes that have come my way over the years from friends and family. This story took place at a time when, as the user "*" pointed out, there were no test centers in Nepal for the USMLE and Bangkok was a popular choice for many people. Back then, based on my understanding, many hospitals including teaching hospitals of many universities, sponsored H-1, J-1 (or other visas) and even green cards. I do not know if that is still the case since I am far removed from the picture now. You seem closer to the situation than me and I'll take your word for it. Given the limited appeal of most of my stories on Sajha, barring perhaps two or three, I never imagined so many people, including folks like you, would even bother to read this stuff let alone scrutinize it to this level of detail :). Which is great because it gives me the opportunity to go back and vet my research of both the processes and people involved. And no, you did not hurt my feeling, not the least bit I assure you.
***
Geico:
Why would one on graduate assistantship work off-campus to support oneself? If I had to bet the farm on it, I would say if the money they were paid wasn't enough.
***
Thanks to the others who read and commented. I would not say this without a gun on my head but the essence of this story is a simple one : we are the products of each moment of our lives. Some of those moments are to be tasted and put aside, others to be savored and sucked on and yet others to be chewed and digested (with due credit to whoever first used those words).
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lootekukur
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Posted on 02-25-08 9:10
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"we are the products of each
moment of our lives. Some of those moments are to be tasted and put
aside, others to be savored and sucked on and yet others to be
chewed and digested"
Well said Gazer. I owe you a cup of latte for saying what i exactly believe in even if that's a recital of a popular quote of some philosopher. :D
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jashmine
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Posted on 02-26-08 3:42
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After reading 'Neeti',,, i am thinking, triangle love story?? Maybe.. Can't wait until everything comes together. Waiting patiently..
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jashmine
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Posted on 02-26-08 3:43
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After reading 'Neeti',,, i am thinking, triangle love story?? Maybe.. Can't wait until everything comes together. Waiting patiently..
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sndy
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Posted on 02-28-08 11:18
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Sajhagazer, hoina, where's chapter 2 and 3? We're still waiting for chapter 5 and 6.
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parbatya
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Posted on 03-02-08 12:42
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This is a great story and as titled 'not a short'. I liked the way of introducing and expressing the characters from different field and the way they live. And to other readers too, It's a must read story if you love some narration and sequence of long long events going on your daily life, you should go over this from the beginning. It became a time pass for me for every weekends. Thanks Gazer. Parbatya
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vindicated
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Posted on 03-04-08 11:16
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waiting for the concluding chap now.....it's been kindda like watching weekly tv show...and boy am i addicted to it....!!!!
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gunyucholi
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Posted on 03-08-08 12:00
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From Captain Deepak to Sachita's creator, all your characters are so convincing
and familiar. You are a writer with multidimensional microscopic vision
and the way you zoomed in the character
that is absolutely outstanding.
Life may not be beautiful, there may not be many happy relationships but
there are always healthy relationships that keep us going. It always occurs to
me that you love to lace your stories with not so optimistic streak which I
believe brings the prejudices in the writing, hoina?
Don’t take it personally but I prefer to call you a crypt author. First wide
shots and then the close ups , in most of your stories there is a beautifully
set stage – resembling a crypt, then there is the narrator under the spotlight
surrounded by beautiful glass coffins
inside which the characters are resting, lifeless. Slowly and swiftly the
narrator guides the most difficult crowd of readers to each of the coffin.
Yeah, there is undoubtedly the magic in the narration, but I just
find one strong mono-tone in the narrator's voice, the reader in me failed
to detect the possible highs and lows. Personally, I want to see an
emotional storyteller, and of course, all your characters out of their coffins, breathing life.
Why don’t you give them more life and enjoy your share of emotion as a storyteller,
or this is what you call your signature style? If so then go ahead.
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Cerine
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Posted on 03-08-08 12:17
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OMG...!! where's the rest :'(
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yacc
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Posted on 03-08-08 4:13
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waiting for more sajha_gazer..
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DUKE1
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Posted on 03-08-08 5:20
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Definitely a skilled presentation, but all the characters seem to be on the same plane, nothing interesting about characters.
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DUKE1
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Posted on 03-08-08 5:27
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high skilled laborers , fell in love , got married. got bored of relationship, all characters living pretty much same life...da da.da...definitely can relate. just an immigrant story for skilled labor. where is the twist; is it coming ? how about a brother or sister or a new character or a friend who brings something else to the table ? It was a good read, very spontaneous, keeps u curios ..but if you u step aside and think about it. - what is the point ?
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DUKE1
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Posted on 03-08-08 5:30
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so thread readers, what do you think the author will bring in the next chapter ? any predictions is it break up or exchange of girflriend boyfriend, are kids coming ? or say he bought lexus for her or this ring that ring. the make feel good stories ..surprise swing, i am amazed why the aunty was surprised on her birthday some one brought her her wish and she didn't know who .. ? or is it going to be something more ? share ur thoughts please.
Last edited: 08-Mar-08 05:33 PM
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Cerine
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Posted on 03-08-08 6:30
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What will the author bring? Hmm.. mind can wonder!! but at the end it's the author's decision...and I'd like to read their perspectives rather than what I want to see (That'd be a bit too boring for me :P) "high skilled laborers , fell in
love , got married. got bored of relationship, all characters living
pretty much same life...da da.da...definitely can relate. "
---->Although that might seem like a general trend...there are tons who are high skilled and are married for a long long time and still love each other like the day they met and more. It's sure is like a garden. There are scuffles one hits here and there (from inner and outer forces) but nothing that can't be solved if both put effort in it. And as for getting bored...everyone is bored of everything at some point.. Grow up !!:P
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SunnyDev
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Posted on 03-09-08 10:27
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Duke, I think I read a different story. I acknowledge the fact that things look different through different eyes. high skilled laborers (workers?), fell in love ( maybe) , got married ( not with the girl they wanted). got bored of
relationship ( don't know yet), all characters living pretty much same life...da
da.da... ( what to take from this meticulously built up detail of each character? You can summarize the characters and take the average value or wander around with the variance.) definitely can relate(yes, nothing unnatural).
just an immigrant story for skilled labor. [ most of the characters are immigrant and they work. However, relationships, compromises, Nepali social structure and many other issues are prominent and conspicuous than immigration in the plot.]
where
is the twist; is it coming ? ( I can't say) how about a brother or sister or a new
character or a friend who brings something else to the table ? ( If the story ends here with some concluding statements from the author, I will accept it as a story about lost love and the pungent feeling that last throughout your life. Many people live with that qualm of missed connection.)
It was a good read, very spontaneous, keeps u curios ..but if you u step aside and think about it. - what is the point ? (point is ..... it keeps you curious, it is good read and very spontaneous.. just kidding. If you read between the lines you can see through the author's mind. he is saying a lot through his characters, isn't he? many simple things in life are so beautiful and meaningful, when said with right words, win you. I am sold. )
Cerine, your bore-ology was impressive.
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PunteDamai
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Posted on 03-15-08 7:33
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Gazer, I'm eagerly waiting for the upcoming parts.
How long is the wait gonna be for?
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indian idol fever
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Posted on 03-15-08 9:54
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Great story ! Perfect for any one coming to US
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avani
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Posted on 03-16-08 3:51
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Well...what can I say...let the drums roll and let the show begin...Oops! end in this case...I am one of those patient readers (generally speaking :))..waiting....
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parbatya
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Posted on 03-16-08 4:27
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Gazer, where are you? Let's wrap up.
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