Its 3am and I am still wide awake.
My mind running amok
Through the piles of possibilities,
to justify what you have said today.
Emotions frozen
it would be lame to dig my face under my arms and cry.
So I sit like a man
watching a corpse being cremated,
The cloud thickening into an integration of melancholies.
I sit here…
Empty
like my senses have been numbed
Bitter
like something must have gone wrong.
I have liked you, since the last ten years
it doesn’t matter.
If you know now,
you might say I’m insane
That doesn’t make you like me back.
I tried to express it
love
By drawing a circle
by referring to my emptiness
In a blinded hope that you will fill that vacuum
since someone had told me
Love doesn’t have a shape.
You try to form words
I never knew you were in a constant effort to form words
For me.
I contradicted myself
In loving you
And saying that love has no identity of its own.
My reality was never your reality.
Many times
You must have let love slip through your fingers,
gauged it,
Felt it inside out
and trashed it.
It was too late to realize
that love,
Came in bundles
Of beauty
Class
Color.
But I let it flow…
you know,
Let it metamorphose into abstractness
let it steal reality
Turn rose petals into a morbid artifact sometimes…
let it roam illegal.
I therefore still sit here
struggling to comprehend
Find a correlation may be,
between the cheap love songs
And the delirium of having loved someone…
