Dear Friend:
This justification and all attachments will logically explain, analyze and convince you not only about the e-marriage proposal, but also on the humanitarian relationship in general, and male and female marital relationship in specific from different prospective. The following section will be useful for all of us to clearly understand the practical difficulties during match making process in our life. This text has been disseminated via wwwmybibahacom on behalf of its originator, especially for the interested single lady: University Graduate, Job Holder/Self-employed Girl.
The primary cause for using the webmail based information technology (IT) system for a general matrimonial related enquiry is due to the distance induced bravery. I am directly and personally approaching for the life's most sensitive, difficult and challenging issue on a supposition that the marriage is the most natural, psychological, emotional and social dire need of both — male and female, sometimes once in a life. Moreover, each family may have an eligible bachelor — family members, relatives, social networks, colleagues and friend circles — who might have informally searching a suitable match for their grown-up children through existing traditional social network approach due to the push/pull factors, but they might also have not been completely able to find out the right candidate for their fully grown-up children in consideration of several other issues.
We are aware that all unmarried persons, including us, have an imaginative image for an ideal life partner on our subconscious minds/dreams from the very early teenage of our lives. To find our lifelong envisioned ideal/dream person into the reality, our minds/souls unknowingly keep on searching/exploring around with an expectation that s/he, who is imaginarily living with us in our subconscious minds from the very early age, will come soon even in the reality of life. We hope that s/he will be the right friend to spend rest of our lives together for the better aesthetic values, which will permanently end the bitter loneliness feeling and inner vacuum within ourselves. But, very few people are lucky enough for such unconditional true love, which all can not find in their life. However, unfortunately, our age keeps on running out rapidly for waiting that especial friend in real life, albeit we are not sure yet, when we will meet her/him in the reality. Consequently, when we do not meet our lifelong expected dreams into the reality, it creates enough anxiety, stress, frustration, personality and psychological disorders among us and we feel extremely sad.
Likewise, both arranged and love marriage have certain pros and cons but 'like minded values and ethos based' marries, where both will have total freedom of choice for the rational selection of an appropriate life partner, is the best approach since decision of social-knot directly affects both. Moreover, we have limited social networks, family ties and relatives, where we can hardly find the dreamed and qualified partner due to lack of an easy and direct access with her/him. On the other hand, our extremely busy mechanical routine life from early morning to late evening for our other daily priorities, has limited us for the better option to expand the social network.
As a result, the tremendously competitive world, especially in the fast metropolitan life, has made us extremely lonely even among the huge mob of the people, as we can hardly mix-up with them due to their varied nature as well as lack of sufficient spare time with us. Similarly, we are totally option and voiceless to select a suitable right partner, when marries proposal is put forward from our closed relatives since we can hardly say 'no' to them despite our several reservations. The marries facilitators also unnecessarily exaggerate on the qualities of the possible grooms/brides, which may not be realistic in the practical life. But, marries decision that we make only once in a life is for the sake of entirely ourselves, not to make others happy since it determines our future. Moreover, even a self-chosen love marries and/or arranged marriage can hardly be guaranteed for lifelong success, durable and happy relationship until our death. Subsequently, it is always a creative tension as well as hidden mental stress to make a marriage related single decision with a totally unseen person, which is exactly like a gambling, either we will be winner or looser!
However, we have to ultimately trust an unfamiliar opposite gender and select a totally unseen person as a lifelong partner out of six billion plus population on this earth. Although, we are not sure yet, who s/he will be, where s/he is now, what s/he is doing, how s/he will approach to us and when s/he will be our real friend as well as how our future relationship will go with her/him. We, ultimately, need to focus merely for his/her comfort/happiness until we die as soon as s/he enters into our life as change maker, who will impart significantly differences throughout our life.
Beside this, what we are mainly lacking to find out our lifelong visualized opposite ideal partner is — easy access, effective negotiation, two-way communication, sufficient time for interactions and most importantly inner courage and self-confidence to approach her and directly propose for marriage due to fear of rejection. However, the sky is unlimited and six billion-plus populated world is beyond our horizon, although we don't have an easy access to directly contact her. It is not a wrong idea to creatively but gently approach her and exchange our mutual information for an enquiry since s/he might also have been waiting for the entry of a right person into her life for her marriage purpose — who knows we may be the hero by mistake as we both may have been made as an ideal life partner for each-others!
As marries is one time great event in our life and we can try our level best to invite the proposal from the most eligible, well-cultured person/family background as far as possible. But, we should never enforce/persuade the second party to make a decision favorable to us since the marriage relationship must be based on independent personal decision of both — without external influence, pressure, threat, hanky-panky and so on — even from family members. Let's continue our dream till we get the best one, when dream is over and shattered, we will really suffer for loosing hope in life. We should not easily accept the cowardice defeat, without waging another effective war to achieve the lifelong visualized person as we can find exactly the same what and whom we dream, if marries is truly made in heaven.
I, therefore, have used atypical modus-operandi in exploring ideal life partner and it is expected that s/he will be the exact lady, whom I have imagined and retained in my subconscious mind from early teenage. Let's see how general people in our conservative society will perceive such a different method as individual interpretations/judgments are the outcomes of our backgrounds. But, I am certain that she will be the lady with exact attributes, who will positively accept not only such a unique process, but also other several social transformations as mediocre narrow mind can never welcome any changes in the new environments since they are totally happy to live in the traditional status-qua situation due to fear of unwanted social criticism and likely risk in life.
The most essential pre-requirement for possible happy marital life is that both male and female, first of all, should have natural attraction from heart, without external influence, at a preliminary face-to-face meeting — both should feel 'click' in their minds to see each-others at the first sight. The first meeting and its overall impressions generally determine whether the further contacts will be strengthened/interrupted. If both feel compatible and comfortable with each-other during introductory conversation process, their minds and hearts will spontaneously but unknowingly admit as like-minded prospective friends despite other several men-made gaps and obstacles — economical, social, educational, psychological and professional — as both have emotionally, mentally as well as psychologically accepted without any pre-occupied minds and persuasions. If both are honest, respectable, loveable and acceptable, a kind of special feeling, thought and emotional rapport will be developed within ourselves, which will further enhance for the deep-rooted love, affection, interdependency and psycho-socio belongingness to reinforce the post-marital life. Subsequently, both will heartily accept not only the roses but also the thrones since couple has strong emotional and sentimental heart-to-heart bonds based on natural attraction, trust and self-commitment for the life-long association until death, which nobody can easily alter. As the human relationship is related with the meeting of like-minded minds and the common wave-length can further enhance for the retention of long-term marital relationship in our life.
Moreover, if we find exact dreamed partner, all our senses might be positively persuaded and heartbeat might be amplified due to an unique feeling within us — exactly the same natural process that we can closely observe among animal kingdom — where inner natural chemistry between them determines their attraction/repulsion for further relationship at a very first meeting of both. We can also boost pleasure of mind, inner happiness and satisfaction through natural process, if couple has liking minds and web length for each other via — reciprocal unconditional love, caring, sharing, mutual understanding and respect for feeling and emotion of the husband and wife, which should based on the ground of mutual trust and honesty. It is a general human tendency that whatever we perform, we simply act upon in order to avoid the pain and gain the pleasure. We, therefore, generally worry and fear with the likely change process and reluctant to renounce the comfort zones, but we have to eventually accept new roles and responsibilities despite uncertain results in our life.
If spouse have certain common grounds, particularly in terms of their socio-cultural values, ethos, interests, likings, disliking as well as shared dreams and visions, the post-marital life will enhance better synergy, positive energy, creativity and prosperity for both. However, if marriage is completely based on compromises, conditionality, baseless commitments and dishonesty, it may prove counterproductive at any time in a long run since the relationship must be based on the bond of trust and honesty as it is simply the beginning of relationship not the end. Moreover, if we establish a marital relationship on the ground of untruth, dishonesty, exaggeration and hanky-panky, it will mentally hurt your partner due to a betrayed deal, which will make her/him lifelong regretful that will never keep your partner happy. If your partner is not happy at all due to your dishonesty, it is obvious s/he can never keep you/your family members happy as well.
Moreover, approached person might not have made her mind for her marriage at this particular juncture and/or she might have settled. Similarly, both might not have met their pre-occupied basic expectations and criteria as well as both may have differences in terms of their so-called socio-economy, socio-cultural and family-based values, which may indirectly affect post-marital life, particularly during elderly age because of the likely cultural socks. Consequently, everybody has freedom of choice for the rational decision for her/his marriage without external pressure and persuasion since being self-master we should not feel regrets for our self-decision.
Finally, if your eligible unmarried lady family members, friend circles, relatives and female colleagues — at least an university graduate, job holder/self-employed and well-cultured pretty looking lady — is thinking for her marriage within this year, please convey and forward this information. As a result, she/her family members can rationally assess our suitability from different prospective for the perfect matching as far as we can make it, if marries is a matter of choice! Your tiny efforts will directly support us to reduce the 'information poverty' and search of an ideal life-partner of two persons will be permanently over. If your interested lady friends/their family members wish to contact me/my parents/sisters to discuss more seriously, please feel free to contact us.
Please refer all the attachments and looking forward for a positive response soon.
Warm Regards!
Raj K Pandey Chhetri, (MBS, MA)
Jawalakhel, Lalitpur, GPO Box: 19862, Kathmandu (Nepal)
Mobile: (977-01) 98510 86884
Mobile: (977-01) 9841 813529
rajkpandey2000@yahoo.com
rajkpandey2000@hotmail.com
rajkpandey2000@gmail.com
MY SUPPLEMENTARY PROFILE: RAJ K PANDEY
Profession: Raj K Pandey started his career in 1990, at the age of 16 with: 1) Save the Children Norway (Redd Barna); 2) Japan Medical Association (JMA)/School and Community Health Project (SCHP); 3) UK Government's Department for International Development (DFID)/Rural Access Program (RAP); 4) United Nations Population Fund, Country Technical Services Team for South and West Asia (UNFPA CST for SAWA Countries); 5) Himalaya Broadcasting Company (HBC) Radio Station; 6) Office of the Prime Minister and Council of Ministers through Strengthening the Office of the Prime Minister and Council of Ministers Project funded by DFID; 7) DFID/Enabling State Program-Nepal.
Moreover, he was also implicated as a short-term Consultant with: i) UNICEF/Regional Office for South Asia (ROSA); ii) USAID/International Federation of Electoral System (IFES); and iii) USAID/National Democratic Institute (NDI). Prior joining one of the Specialized Agencies of the United Nations (UN) System in 2008, where he is working as an administrative staff in these days, he was involved with the Japan International Cooperation Agency (JICA) Nepal Office in the capacity of an AS Officer.
Education: He has completed his Double Masters Degree i.e. Masters in Business Studies (MBS) and MA (Rural Development), both in the first division. Simultaneously, he is also perusing his third Masters Degree in Public Administration (MPA) Course in the early morning in these days. Moreover, he has strongly made his mind to enroll for MPhil Course as well sometimes in the future to upgrade himself for PhD in a long-run of his life, which is one of the significant long-term dreams of his life.
Attributes: He is a self-disciplined, self-made, self-developed and self-directed person without guidance from anybody. He dreamed, visualized and worked hard to materialize his vision, goal and aim, which made him active, laborious and confident to cope the difficult challenges and circumstances. On the other hand, when he was in his early teenage and younger age, he used to work exceptionally hard both for his professional career as well as education. He was able to work for up to 18-19 hours daily in that struggle period and used to sleep merely 4-5 hours. Consequently, he successfully continued his full time job and education simultaneously. However, when he gets leisure time in these days, particularly during Saturday and Sunday, he simply enjoys for — laying on bed, traveling around countryside, reading newspapers, listening music, working in a computer for writing something, dine delicious meals, chatting, sharing and joking on generic issues with all the family members, especially two sisters, who are living very closed to his house, reviewing literatures/reports, watching latest movies/TV and sleeping for very late hours.
Personality: He is liberal minded, independent, honest, talkative and extroverted person. He often trusts people easily but they exploit his gentleness, soberness and softness for their own vested interests, which makes him sad. He prefers simple life with the better human capital for own inner satisfaction purpose.
Ideal: He respects women and men who are simple, gentle and liberal, although he likes straight forward nature and speak of mind. However, he disgusts and immediately discontinues even the humanitarian relationship with the liar, hypocrite, arrogant and sadist persons as they are good for nothing for others.
Strength: He is strongly determined person for his goals and visions, which makes him exhausted and burnt-out. Consequently, he can hardly smile, laugh and get pleasure in his life! Moreover, he mostly feels loneliness as he can hardly sacrifice his time for an unproductive purpose and social relationship.
Weakness: a) He is, however, not a perfect household manager particularly for cooking, laundry, ironing and other domestic work as he never practiced such activities in his entire life due to sufficient love and take care rendered by his mother/sisters. b) When someone behaves dishonest, sadist and egoistic way, he completely ignores him/her and never attempts to reestablish any further humanitarian relationship.
Warm Regards!
Raj K Pandey Chhetri, (MBS, MA)
Jawalakhel, Lalitpur
GPO Box: 19862, Kathmandu (Nepal)
Mobile: (977-01) 98510 86884
Mobile: (977-01) 9841 813529
rajkpandey2000@yahoo.com
rajkpandey2000@hotmail.com
rajkpandey2000@gmail.com
