Nude Kathmandu
By Biswas
The hottest tourist spot for the rich and the famous this year is the southeastern European country of Croatia. Tourists are enamoured by the breathtaking scenery of its paradise islands like Hvar and Dalmatian—but, apparently, the biggest draw are the nudist beaches offshore these isles. Landlocked, we are oceans away from any nudist beach, nevertheless, we can take some solace from the fact that the bare-all sands can well be dispensed with in Kathmandu, the nude capital of the world.
No matter where you are in Kathmandu, if you fail to notice nudity, you are either blind or a nudist yourself, or better, an alien or one among the Maoist-driven coterie who have descended into the capital. With much hullabaloo about the hankie-shorts and kerchief-pants in the newspapers recently, I will go no further to elucidate the small-is-beautiful dress mentality of Kathmanduees.
Lest you think nudity is all about shedding, again, I am afraid you are wrong — at least in Kathmandu. It seems that the newly varnished Great Walls of Kathmandu appal the theatre owners no ends: until they have clothed, papered rather — talk about fashion! — these walls over with oversized educational posters with perfect A’s they can’t have a good night’s snore.
Even then, you might pitch in, when the capital is flanked by gun-trotting hucksters on all sides, how can I assert that Kathmandu is as bare as Ronaldo’s pate? Point noted. But again, grant the men in green one genie wish and I will stick my neck out and predict that the rejoinder will be: Less clothes, fewer arms. The government, I am reliably informed, after its ingenious ‘back-seat’ public trust building campaign, is butting heads together again for an ordinance on nudity, a few lines of which was leaked: Reliable intelligence from Iraq tells us that some uncivil members of the society may be planning suicide attacks in Kathmandu. Hence this ordinance forbids wearing all kinds of clothes with no exception, which otherwise maybe used to conceal weapons. The offender will be summarily incarcerated if found garbed.
Kathmandu’s denuded roads sans greenery; the skin-shedding weather; the bare or be bared troupe of politicians—all hint at our nudist haute couture.
On the other hand, the red-brigade is hell-bent on equating peace with nudity, as is the case in Croatia. The country reeled under a bitter civil war after its independence from former Yugoslavia in 1991. But for the last ten years peace has returned which has in turn boosted the countries’ tourism. Now many a tourists come here to bask in the beaches under the Mediterranean sun. Hence, our comrades contend that peace is directly proportional to nudity. Violence is the only means, they say, to preserve our well-draped culture. Well, they do have a point! The more the peace, the less people seem to wear.
