First let me say hats off to all of you, who are reading this while working for white folks around the world.

I believe, I have never been a racist.I have never called a dark person Haku or Kallu or Madeshi, neither have I called a “Gorey Nepali” Khairey or American. I just feel there is no need to do that. But I feel unknowingly we become one at times. Specially if you are pushed to a corner and someone tries to choke you.

In last 2 months I have 2 such very strong encounters with some white people, living in Nepal, Kathmandu to be more precise that has been quite an experience to mention.

The first encounter:-

Right before Dashain, mum and I were doing some grocery shopping in Bhatbhateni supermarket (We are so TNMC....oh u dont know???.....it is Typical Nepali Middle Class....we were trying to get some bargain and super deals for the festive season). When we were trying to cash out our stuff, I saw a very old friend in a distance. I asked mum to do the cashing out, and meet me in the parking lot. I meet my friend, talk to her for couple of minutes and from a distance I see my dearest mum walking towards me, with a smirk on her face and anger in her eyes. Trust me there is a story I NEED TO KNOW.

So I asked, k bho? Kina yesto madhurmuskan? Super discount diyo ki k?

She very patiently replied, “ Hoina! Mero pacchadi euta khairini thee, mero duita haath le bhyainabhai samaan halda ni, “hey lady, can you do it faster, we dont have the whole day here to laze around” bhanera rudely bhanni. As if she is paying for my stuff and doing me a favor coming to my country. Maile ni bhasa nabujheko jasto garera aafnai taal ma cash out garey. Sorry this is my country and I dont tolerate disrespect from a white trash”.

I looked at mum and said wow. What a presence of mind. But then it chimed in my head that I should go back and ask this WHITE WOMAN to apologize to my mum. Mum asked me to let go and we should get back home. So I let go.

The second encounter:-

In the same week, a German lady whom I know for almost 5 years has approached me, asking for help, to get her some samples ready.She is not a friend but I know her well enough to do business with. I wont get into the detail of what but she wanted some Nepali handmade stuff. So I said oh ok I can help you out. I asked her for a week since I had to do my search and research and get her the stuff. After 10 days I get her a sample ready and gave her an amazing price. She wanted 3-4 changes in the sample and asked me to redo it. Unfortunately she was travelling for a month, so she asked me to send her a picture of the products. I was cool with it.

Next I send her pictures after Dashain and she still got issues. She demands to halt till she comes back. I was cool...no problem.She comes back, I show her a new sample, she was happy, she orders. I ask the manufacturer to go into production. (Please mind that I have not mentioned about any payments yet). I told her specifically that the factory will be closed for the festival and I will only be able to provide the order after 7-8 days after Tihar. She was OK with it.

Right next day of Bhaitika, I get a text from her saying what happened to the orders. I was confused, what have I commited, go back to my inbox, check my email and see that I have asked for time. And here she is texting me right next day. Like seriously lady, dont you have a life? I very nicely replied saying factory is closed till Chaat festival and workers will come only the next day. She very rudely asked me to stick to the time frame that we have agreed upon. I was like, what the eff..... I still got 10 more days and here she is already threatening me. She even asked me to ask the workers to come early. Hell I am not going to ruin someone's festival for this one person. HELL NO.

Chaat was over, I went into production and 2 days before my deadline I got her the stuff. I have time and again reminded her that handmade stuff are never perfect. Every piece will be slightly different from one another ( I had few issues already with few other foreigners, so was constantly reminded her). Now, her demand changed and she asked me to change more of it. It was getting not only into my nerves but into my pocket too. Now she had to travel again.I asked her to send me some emails for documentations regarding confirmation of the orders and prices. She never send me those emails.

I went back did exact changes she asked for and on last Thursday got it back to her. OMFG! I have never met such unhappy dissatisfied person who suck the life outta others in my whole life. She was unhappy with her own changes but blames my artisans for doing that. She was rude, humiliating and immature. She asked me to do it again. I very calmly picked the stuff and informed that I will be writing to her soon. These foreigners in Nepal think that they are the boss here. They think every Nepali is an illeterate villager. They think they can slave out cheap labour and buy their lavish life.So I just thought I will break the bubble for atleast one.

I wrote her an email, very nicely, telling her that she needs to go fuck herself. That doing business is always give and take. If she is giving me business, I am giving her product that she can sell and buy herself a decent meal while in Nepal. In our last meeting, she questioned my communication skills, so I wrote her such an email, that she might need to go back to school to learn English.

Since I have assure her that this product will not hit the local market, now I am bearing a loss. But it is worth than to compromise to your Esteem and dignity, and respect for the work you do. I had to take a stand for people who were working for me. She was humiliating these people, who had worked day and night to finish her orders.

I am writing this because I see a lot of us Nepalis, boot licking these whites who live here in Nepal. We dont need to do that. Honestly, now what I feel is, these foreigners come here and live, not coz they like the place, but it is cost effective, they get an upperhand being white, they can do a lot of trash that they cant do back in their countries and the most important is, they are immigrants in our country. They are second class citizen here. We give them space in our homes and hearts, and if they start scratching, well we believe in pest control.

I might sound rude and mean here but truth is to be told. Now I am a racist. I called the German lady Nazi and the other foreigner, white trash. And YES I am a brown Asian who will be a meanie to people who try to use their skin colour to control us,coming to our land.