Daredream, I don't have any suggestions for you but just wanted to say good luck to you and your spouse.

My boss lives pretty thrifty life while he and his wife make pretty good money for a young couple. I respect simple living, but somewhat always wondered. Back in May he disclosed that they have been trying to have kids for last many many years, and now they were pregnant. Everything made sense that I was observing in him, including the stress for his 'seemingly' pretty smooth life. I understand he spent a couple hundred grands and I can imagine emotional toll to them and their traditional family back in India for at least last eight years. As I type this, he is on paternity leave and taking care of his premature twins.

Whatever you do, good luck to you. Desire to be parent already proves that you have a very good heart. And this world can use a lot of good hearts like yours in many many ways.