Couple suggestions:

Good effort by you guys. Although the performance is quite tacky and cheesy at times.

Try to condense the content a little bit. Do not stretch the subject for prolonged time. The point system joke was too prolonged....

Use emotions to explain lines. Do not verbate every body language, the enviroment, and the emotions. for eg: if someone is crying there no need to have 3 character speak "someone is crying".

Do not overkill it. You wanted to show your room messy...there way too many McDonalds paper bags was an overkill.

Overall good effort !!