Self-pity is a disease. It is the cycle of justification and victimization that creates insecurity. It is a self-pertuating cycle. It is disempowering. Don't do it. The more you do it, the more you will find the justification to be a victim. It is an endless cycle. There is no way out of it.

Self-pity is not self-love. Don't mistake it. It is self-disgust. It is self-hatred disguised as self-love. Eat that disease of self-pity and it will consume you. It is self-disgust disguised as self-respect.

There is a healthy way of building your ego and there is an unhealthy way of building your ego.

First thing to do in building your ego is to love yourself. Refuse to hate yourself, no matter what happens. But this is easier said than done because you need to believe your words and action. It is very difficult to do so.
The more you love yourself, the more self-trust and confidence you build. It's a self-pertuating cycle. This is the virtuous cycle. This is positive synergy.

The more your strength comes from loving yourself, and building self-trust and confidence, the more no one can take that sense of security from you.

This is how a gentleman named Viktor Frankl survived the concentration camp from the Nazis in Germany.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl

His Nazi captors had more power. But he had more freedom. Despite them killing his family. Despite them trying to physically hurt him. Despite them trying to psychicly ruin him. How did he do that?

Where did he get the strength to do that?