Jiban,

Thank you. I suppose that is a signal that we have had sufficient discussion. I hope it was a helpful one to your original question and for general interest.

I will just make a quick a thankyou note and comment on Nails’s last note on additional theories of love and also a pointer to one aspect of love we have not particularly talked about. The dynamics of love.

Until now we have treated love pretty much statically, as if there is a fixed equation for every pair.

The fact is that each person can be manipulated by circumstances and therefore the likelihood of a person to love (or fall in love) another person can also be a function of the circumstance.

Saying right thing at a right time makes all the difference in the pursuit of love. There are also circumstances when a person is more competent/vulnerable to love than he/she is in a normal time.

Finally, thank you, Nails, for adding very interesting and important information to this discussion.

I would like to summarize Hatfield’s and other theories for myself and Sajha readers here.

A. Zick Rubin

(Liking vs loving)

· Liking and loving can be distinguished and measured

· love = attachment + caring + intimacy

B. Elaine Hatfield

(Compassionate vs. Passionate Love)

· Compassionate love = mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust

· Passionate love = intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection

· Ideally, passionate love ---> compassionate love

· Rarely, passionate love + compassionate love

C. John Lee

Color wheel model

(6 Styles of Loving)

Three primary styles:

1. Eros – Loving an ideal person

2. Ludos – Love as a game

3. Storge – Love as friendship

Three secondary styles:

1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love

2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love

3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

For more:

Theories of Love

http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/theoriesoflove.htm

Happy weekend and fulfilling love life to all !

Nepe