The Lyrics Interpreted By Michael Klassen 1. Erma Rees-Gwynn, a Welsh divorcee intent on starting her own carpenter contracting business. She was recommended (some say as a joke) by the castle's previous owner, actor Richard Harris, who fled to the Bahamas to avoid the taxman. 2. This is a bit of Plant's irony. In other words if it didn't glitter, it probably wasn't worth much. Erma and her assistants reportedly broke and scratched a lot of valuables carrying lumber through the residence. 3. This means "building" a stairway to heaven, or, more likely, buying the materials for the stairway. Erma was contracted to build a deck in back of Page's castle, three stories high. The plans were for a 2nd floor landing, and steps leading up from the back vegetable patch. Plant once described Lelawcge-an-bryn as "heaven." The staircase when completed would be a stairway to view heaven if you climbed up it, or going down, a stairway to carrots and peas. 4."Foreclosure." The small Welsh town in the district had only one hardware store in the area, and the owner was on a picnic with his family. Erma complained to Jimmy about not being able to get screw nails. So Jimmy called a couple of local aldermen he had in his back pocket, so they could get the damn store open. The store owner soon received the politicians' threats, and cut short his picnic. 5. In order the secure the landing at the second floor, Erma's crew had to enter Jimmy's so-called "Guitar Room." The sign on the wall said "Keep the F*ck Out - Everyone!" These words don't have two meanings, do they? Well, Erma let herself in anyway. In fact, only two double-necked Gibsons could be found in the room, out of Page's reputed collection of 75 guitars. No, this was his Occult Room, full of red satin furnishings and things with horns on them. 6. Reportedly Jimmy was out on his property, singing in his favorite tree, when he saw Erma's helper hanging out the Guitar Room's window. His berserk ranting ("misgiven thoughts") could be heard in the next county. 7. West of Page's property, beyond a neighbour's forested grove, there was a coal-burning power plant. Apparently the tons of sulphur-rich deposits pouring from its stacks disheartened Plant. One day Percy got pretty inebriated, and schemed that they should all protest until the plant shut down. Why not get all the girls, the other lads, and large-fisted manager Peter Grant out blocking their gate? "Great idea," one of the girls responded, "but how are we going to keep the stereo going, or even have hot baths without power?" This comment silenced Plant's protest. 8. Jonesy was the true all round musician of the group. Before Led Zeppelin the bassist/keyboardist extraordinaire wrote and arranged some of Lulu's best work, including "To Sir With Love." Whilst up at Page's castle he tried to form a little choir he wished to call the Zeppettes. Singing careers could've meant a "new day" for the girls, but none could carry a tune. The neighbours watched them rehearse in vain, hence the laughter echoing in the forest. 9. It's likely Plant spend as much time wondering about things as it took for him to write this line. 10. It's said a lot of clothes were found in strange places after their infamous Victorian dress-up parties. 11. The "May-Queen" was Maytag's laundromat-sized washer/dryer combo ordered in to handle hotel-sized loads of laundry being done at Page's castle. Jimmy was promised a money-back warranty on the set if he wasn't satisfied. The "two paths" were whether to keep them or return. The warranty gave him time to change the road he was on, you see. 12. This was one of the worst hangovers Plant had ever felt. 13. Jonesy was going back to London and asked Plant to come along. 14. Actually, your stairway, and the whole damned sundeck laid on the ground. A spring torrent ripped through Great Britain that year, and destroyed Erma's shoddy work. 15. Jonesy and Plant hit the road in John Paul's Stutz Bearcat. By coincidence, they came across Erma waving a flashlight, trying to hitch out of Lelawcge-an-bryn County. After the sundeck fiasco she gave up on carpentry, and was leaving for a cousin's residence in King's Cross. "Everything still turns to gold," she promised, boasting ten thousand pounds profit on the Page job alone. 16. A sarcastic bit of advice from Percy to the Zeppettes: just keep practicing, girls. 17. Plant decided to be a rock, if not a lump of clay, and stay home with his wife and family until the next tour. 18. Last heard from, Erma was in the Bahamas. "And she's buying a ticket to Nassau." Source: http://www.michaelklassen.ca/understanding-stairway-to-heaven/