You remind me of a boxer who's been knocked down again and again in a fight but who starts to cling on to the feet of the other boxer to show that he's not giving up. Take a deep breath and let it go. It's getting painful to watch you clinging on to what you don't have which is common sense and the ability to think for yourself. Don't let the door hit you on your way out. It was fun chatting with you. You are better off not saying anything anymore.