You, being asylee, must be a green card holder or US citizen, If so, why don't you visit Nepal in regular basis.
I may be wrong. I don't know your full story.
Don't be depressed. Be bold. You don't know when life ends. This is very precious short life. Make it productive and exciting as much as you can. You have nothing to lose. End is imminent.
Why do you worry? There is nothing that belongs to you.