A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children.

A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him: “Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!”

The blind man replies: “If you would’ve put a rubber on the end of YOUR STICK, we’d be sitting in the bus, so shut up!!!!”

This guy approaches the Madam of a local whorehouse and says, “Madam, I’m ready to spend top dollar here, but I have some very specific requirements. Do you think you can meet them?”

To which the Madam replies, “Sir, you have come to the finest brothel in the area. Our Ladies are extremely skilled in pleasing a man in every way! Simply name your pleasure.”

“Great!” he says, “Now here’s what I want. I want a woman that doesn’t moan, or groan, or thrash around or even move at all. In fact, I want her to simply lie there like a cold, hard piece of wood.”

“Well!”, she says, “I must say that is a very unusual request, but I simply don’t understand. We have the finest, most desirable and exciting women in the world here. Why would you make such a request?”

To which he replies, “Well, I’m a traveling salesman that’s been on the road for a while, but I’m not really horny, I’m just homesick!”

Lets share "A" "JOKES" in itself is a joke to engish grammar.
LOL

woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.
'What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree,and it's an absolute steal at only $20.'
'Why is it that cheap?' the woman asks.
'Well', replies the assistant, it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity.'
'Oh, I don't mind that', said the woman, making her mind up, I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot'.
So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, 'F==k me, a new brothel and a new madam'
'I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel' says the woman indignantly.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.
'A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes' says the parrot when he sees the daughters.
'Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up,we're not prostitutes' complained the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home.
'Well f==k me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin', Steve?'
Steve just collapsed ...........


"Live life to the fullest, seize every moment 'coz u never know what's around the next corner!!"

A divorced Couple were contesting for possession of the child

The mother said: "I gave birth to him - he's mine" The father said: "I
put a coin in the Pepsi machine and a can comes out - the Pepsi belongs
to me! Not to the machine!!"


A girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."
The guy says 'thanks for the warning'


Man to wife on wedding night - "Are you sure I'm the first man you are
sleeping with?'
"Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!'