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 Change in perspective in USA
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Posted on 05-19-11 11:30 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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When I first came in the US, I was in my late teens. Needless to say, my brain was still not shaped and I have to admit I have many changes in my views of the world having grown up here. I'd like to know what radical changes have come to you after coming to USA.
I will start:

1. No longer a homophobic. I accept my LGBT friends more now; except maybe the T part which still irks me.

2. I am more capitalist now; I had social thoughts back home.

3. I like to believe I am less racist.

4. I do think I am less of a family guy now; I regret this change. I used to worship my folks.

5. I am more for equal rights now.

These changes might have come just for the fact that I am more mature, but I am sure America has a big hand on bringing about the changes.
Posted on 05-19-11 11:48 AM     [Snapshot: 37]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I am less defensive. Less involved in the Nepali family drama and the constant comparisons between relatives, cousins on the pettiest things. Care less for people trying to 'one up' themselves about every silly thing...the way I see many Nepalese do.

America has a way of making you more 'live and let live.' Unlike in Nepal, in the States, there are plenty of things to occupy your time so that you don't have to make other people's business and their lives the center of your life.
Posted on 05-19-11 1:58 PM     [Snapshot: 117]     Reply [Subscribe]
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My perspectives change constantly. I can relate to much of what Stiffler and Babal Khate have expressed. A few other things I'd like to share:

(1) It doesn't matter where I live --- US or Nepal -- I can do just as well in both countries as long as l have realistic expectations about both places. Complaining about poor traffic etiquette in Nepal is like complaining about the lack of general knowledge amongst many Americans - I need to know what is in my power to change and what is beyond me to change.

(2) I now look at socio-economic status in a different light. I don't measure a person by what job they have or where they live and go on vacation or how well they speak and dress up. It's more important to me that the person respects others, doesn't think too much of himself, doesn't look down on others, is empathetic etc. Most of my friends in Nepal were children of businessmen, doctors, lawyers, engineers, landowners, etc -- that is they were pretty well off. Here most of my friends, including me, live pretty much middle class lives.

(3) Nepalese and Americans, in general, are more alike than different when it comes to what motivates us. Most of the things that drive us are pretty much the same. We want more comfortable lives, good careers or business opportunities, some wealth and assets, a nice house, a reliable social circle, respect, stature, fulfillment, love etc regardless of where we live.

(4) I feel I appreciate family and friends more since coming to America. I sometimes feel socially constrained in America. Everyone is so busy with their own lives that I feel there is a 'social energy' missing. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. It is a good thing because it pushes me out of my comfort zone and forces me to socialize with people who I may not have much in common with. This is a bad thing for the exact same reason. I am forced to pay lip service to opinions I completely disagree with because it is socially expedient to do so. This would be less of a problem for me in Nepal because I would at least have the cushion of my family to fall back on even if I pissed off everyone else I knew.

(6) A few years after coming to the US, I bought into the idea of American exceptionalism and moral superiority. I used to think America acts with the right motivations most of the time. I now question this. I am increasingly wary of American exceptionalism as advocated by the current ruling elites -- this belief that America is the best country in the world because of all the great things it has done and achieved and thus it has the moral authority to do what it does in the world. Sadly, this kind of exceptionalism the source of American arrogance and hubris.

(7) I have gotten a heck of a lot more analytical since coming to America. Some of it maybe me growing up and maturing. Some of it maybe the socio-cultural environment I find myself in today. 10 years ago I would probably have posted seven words or less, not seven paragraphs, in response to this subject.

Posted on 05-19-11 2:08 PM     [Snapshot: 187]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well put Vivant. Though, almost all of your points (except 6) can be argued to have come from maturing. I totally agree with (3).

Babal Khate, agree with you second para.
Posted on 05-19-11 2:12 PM     [Snapshot: 189]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Very true you, I agree with all that you have said.

Posted on 05-19-11 2:56 PM     [Snapshot: 234]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 05-19-11 3:08 PM     [Snapshot: 264]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Bahuns also made it possible for an "Ignorant Janajati" like yourself understand your rights and potential. Nepali with Indian Origin like yourself are able to voice your in the street, Sajha, and in Sansad becasue of some Bahuns...for 100s of years you and your kind had no idea on what to say and how to say it. Now Bahuns have taught you the formula of Sanghaiyata and Jatiyata.

Most bahuns are saying " You are welcome" to you Madhesis already.

You people of Indian Origins are under assumption that Bahuns have already taught you everything bahun knew but ...have you heard of a story that Cat taught Tiger to do everything including climbing the tree but never taught how to get down....yes...you madhises are that tiger who learned how to climb the tree from a bhaun but does not know how to come down from a tree. You will be hanging on the top of the tree and laughing about it until you realize all the shiate is happening on the ground and not at the top of the tree.

Posted on 05-19-11 3:45 PM     [Snapshot: 303]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Let me give you a definition of INDIA for a guy like yourself who thinks he is an INDIAN.

INDIA is nothing but a bunch of states put together by Britishers, the GORAS bujhis....the modern India ( the indian sub - continent states put together by Britishers) has NO relation to the great Indian Sub continent which was all the terrain from the south of the himalayas to Indian Ocean....that massive continent did not belong to the modern India. There were hundreds of countries and states in that continent. Throughout the history one emperor would emerge and try to govern the whole continent ...sometimes it was won by Hindu Kings like Bharat and other times it was by muslim king like Akabar...the last one to own the indian Sub continent were the Britishers. Those emperors ruled the same way the Alexander and Nepolean ruled the Europe Continent.

Coming back to the point.....so yes...i am a Bahun whose anchestors migrated to Nepal in the 14th century from the south....but the country we migrated from was not INDIA......INDIA had not even existed back then....So my family has been Nepali for almost seven hundred years and even the proper INDIANS have not been INDIAN for 250 years. Lets not even talk about an Indian immigrant of 40 years to nepal. 

So to answer your question....yes my anchestors migrated from the south of the Himalayas towards the north in the 14th  century but they did not migrate from INDIA......You on the other hand...probably migrated in recent years and you can call yourself an INDIAN...

Last edited: 19-May-11 03:50 PM

Posted on 05-19-11 3:58 PM     [Snapshot: 303]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Then : Age of Innocence
Now : Nas! could you shed some more light on the NWO and the Illuminati?

Education and money:
Then : the more number of years in college, the more money you make.
Now :Right field and experience counts more than anything else to make money. Want to make even more? "Make your own move" as Tony Montana himself put it. But you need a great plan and execution for that.

Money and Sin
Then: Certain school of Buddhism believes the more money you make the more sins you might have committed. Here you have reason to pay equal respect to good people who have not gone up in the world. I think it's true to some extent because you must have heard in movies or in real-life about quick money and dishonesty. Even for high salaried jobs, you might have to lie or play dirty office politics.
Now: Capitalistic view, if you consistently provide products of great value to customers, you will get handsome monetary rewards. This is also true.

Marriage, Happiness, and Sex
Then: Marriage is an insurance for guaranteed sex and is the stepping-stone to happily ever after.
Now : I have been exposed to quotes like "how long can you listen to the same song with the same rhythm and beat without getting bored to the point of suicidal"
If you rape your wife, be prepared for a day in court.
Only right match and mutually-shared dreams may be way to happiness. You must have learnt of news of the surviving spouse becoming the suspect when the other suddenly dies, too.

Lost Opportunities
Then : I will do it next time.
Now : There is NO next time.

Posted on 05-19-11 7:28 PM     [Snapshot: 540]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Absolutely loved your 'then' and 'now's. Very well written. You made me think about the 'then and nows' in my life also. Thanks for the post.

I especially liked this part:

Then: Certain school of Buddhism believes the more money you make the more sins you might have committed. Here you have reason to pay equal respect to good people who have not gone up in the world. I think it's true to some extent because you must have heard in movies or in real-life about quick money and dishonesty. Even for high salaried jobs, you might have to lie or play dirty office politics.

That is so true. For me I think I learned that there is a trade off in life. When I was younger, I wanted it all. Now I realize that there is a price in wanting it all.
And in many ways, I realized that I no longer want it all. For example, as much as being a Minister or having a high post in Nepali government bureacracy seems so attractive because of the prestige it carries, I don't want it today. Yesterday I respected a lot of the people who I knew who had these high posts in Nepal. I too wanted to be a 'thulo maanche' like them. Today, realizing the amount of backbiting, dirty politics, blind arrogance and corruption happens at these high ranks, those same positions don't appear so attractive any more.

In one way, I suppose we could say that it is not the positions that are dirty, it is the people. In another way, I want to say, "Show me one person who despite having these positions remain clean and noble member of society, and I will respect the position." I think Nepal (like most developing nations) is a true example where having a respect worthy position as a leader and being a person with good ethics are...with few exceptions, rare.

So in many ways, coming to America/growing up, has led me to reassess a lot of the people that I had respected when I was young. Today I have different standards of whom I respect and why. And I realize today that based on today's standards, a lot of the people that I respected yesterday in Nepal, I would not respect today.

Last edited: 19-May-11 07:29 PM

Posted on 05-19-11 8:01 PM     [Snapshot: 575]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Changes for me :

1). I won't need a virgin to marry, or a Nepali girl for that matter.

2). I grew up fearing gangsters in Nepal but not anymore. It was mostly for the fear of getting as dirty as them. Now I don't mind. If a group of five of those losers want a piece of me, I will get a good piece of one of them - particularly the one who looks the weakest.

3). I used to speak less, and think before I spoke. I still think the same, but can talk as I am thinking. Also speak more.

4). I was slightly chauvinistic for some time while growing up. Now, I'm a balanced patriot.

5). Less group mentality now. I will need to be presuaded and feel morally and ethically right in doing something before I commit to it.

6). High self-confidence now.

Posted on 05-19-11 8:43 PM     [Snapshot: 624]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thank you for the compliment.
I dump my crazy thoughts here sometime just to get them off my chest after holding them for a while.

I agree with your thoughts about people in Nepal making quick comparisons based on what appears on the surface. But peer pressure for the right ambition can abet healthy competition as opposed to cut-throat rivalry.  Also, one does not need to respect people of high positions based on what you have heard about them without knowing them first-hand to a reasonable degree. After all who would know that Arnold Schwarzenegger would pull a John Edwards too, Right?

But at the same time, one could praise Warren Buffet on how ordinary people can relate to his financial wisdom without knowing him personally.

Last edited: 19-May-11 08:57 PM

Posted on 05-20-11 12:44 PM     [Snapshot: 843]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Attending some training this trainer was lashing at us the participants “being unrealistic does support a person to immigrate from place to place.” My mind really contemplated this punch line a number of times. Perhaps that’s why we find ourselves whining at the new settled land we are in!!! And we find grass looks greener on the other side of the hill.
Well bringing back to the focus of then and now of life in North America:
Then: My ego was unconscious. Now, there has been realization and acceptance of my ego’s role plays.  Then: I thought I knew everything. Now, I am learning from nothing.
Then: I consumed anything and everything. Now, I am aware what the market is selling.
Then: Complication was beauty. Now, simplicity is the enjoyment.
Then: Hated being alone e. Now, I appreciate being solitude.
Enjoy NOW.


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