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 Another short story- Circuit City
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Posted on 06-17-09 12:37 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Circuit City

“Sammy, you need to find a girl, man.” Mike said, “You haven’t had a girlfriend forever.”

“I know, I don’t like dating white girls, it’s just weird, and there are not many Nepali girls around, you know that” Saumya replied.  Saumya and Mike worked in the same company. Saumya was a programmer and Mike was a computer support representative.

“Hey, my wife says there is an Indian/Nepali looking girl working with her, maybe you should hook up with her.”

“Oh! really? Maybe I should!”  Saumya was not a very extrovert guy. He had friends who were girls but didn’t have a girlfriend. He never had courage to ask any girl out on a date. Saumya was decent looking guy with a tall and well-built body. Many girls seem to be interested in him, but because of his reserved nature, they tagged him as a cocky guy.

“Sammy, let’s go to Applebee’s for lunch today. It’s near Circuit city where my wife works. After lunch we can go to her work and you can see for yourself if you like that girl.”  Saumya thought it was a little awkward but then he couldn’t deny. He and Mike used to go to lunch together frequently. He didn’t have any excuse not to go that day. Though he thought it was a little strange, he said he was ready to go see the girl.

They drove to an Applebee’s which was about fifteen minutes drive from their work. Heather, Mike’s wife was waiting for them at a table. Heather said to Saumya that she wasn’t sure if the girl was Nepali or Indian, but told him that she was pretty. Saumya asked Heather about her appearance. Heather said she was tall with a beautiful figure and was a cute looking girl.

After their lunch, Saumya followed Mike and Heather to Circuit City. He was a little nervous, but Heather had said he could just look at her and if only he liked her she would introduce them. They roamed around the store to sight the girl; finally Heather spotted her at the mp3 section arranging miscellaneous gadgets for iPod.  The girl was tall with a perfect figure; Saumya liked her as soon as he saw her. He could see that she was a Newar girl; Saumya was a Kshhetri but he cared less about the caste system.

As soon as heather spotted her, she went to the girl and called her out loud. “Sheetal, I want you to meet someone, Sheetal this is Saumya, and Saumya this is Sheetal”

“Hi Sheetal, where are you from?”

“I am from Nepal, and you?” she asked.

“I am from Nepal too, how long have you been working here? I had never seen you here before” Saumya asked.

“Oh really, yeah, I have been working here for a couple of months now.” Though now they both knew they were Nepali, they continued their conversation in English.

They both didn’t know what to talk about next. They stared at each other. Saumya was in a neat ironed club-shirt, he was not clean shaven as he didn’t like shaving very often. He had a big earring on his left ear and he had his sunglasses on his head. He didn’t have a dress code at work so he dressed like that every day.

“Sheetal, it is nice to meet you, I work with Mike, and he is Heather’s husband. Well, I hope to meet with you again.”

“It was nice meeting with you too, yeah stop by sometimes.”

“Okay. Sheetal, I will head to work now. See you later.” He stepped backwards and waved at her as he walked away from her.

“See you.” Sheetal smiled and waved.

Mike and Saumya stepped out of circuit city. As they were on the way to the parked car, Mike asked, “So how do you like her? You think she can be your girlfriend?” Saumya replied “She’s cute; I can hang out with her.”

 “You didn’t even ask her number, you are such a jerk. You won’t ever date a girl if you are like this”

“Oh shit, I didn’t.  How did I forget? Tell me Heather’s number I will make her ask Sheetal’s number for me”

He got Heather’s number and requested her to ask Sheetal’s number. Heather said she would find out shortly and would call him back. After about half an hour, Heather called him back. Mike and Saumya were already at work.

“Sammy, she thinks you look like a weirdo and she says she doesn’t want to give her number to you.” Heather said.

“Really?” he said, “Damn it! But yeah, thanks for trying to hook me up Heather.”

“Wait. Of course, she gave her number, I think she likes you.” Heather teased Saumya.

“Oh thanks Heather, you made my day, what did she say?”

“She just smiled and gave the number, she was still smiling the last time I saw her, and she looks very happy Sammy.”

“Oh good, now I have to make my move. Okay Heather I will get back to work, thanks again for all this.”

“No problem. Sammy, take her out, she seems to be a nice girl.”

“Yeah I will. See you Heather.” He hung up.

The next day, Saumya sent a text message to Sheetal asking if she could make it to lunch with him that day.  She told him that she just got to work so she couldn’t that day but she could do it that Friday. He said he was fine with that too.

On Friday, Saumya dressed himself up in his finest clothes. He went to work but he couldn’t wait for it to be lunch time. As soon as it was half past eleven, he called Sheetal. Sheetal told she would be ready at noon and he could pick her up at the Circuit City.

At noon, he went to the Circuit City and found her, he gave her a hug and they both left for lunch. Saumya opened the car door for her, she got in the car, smiling. Saumya asked Sheetal about her. She told him that she lived with her parents in a nearby city. He also found out that she was leaving for New York in a couple of months for school.

They went to Denny's for lunch. Saumya ordered a steak and mashed potatoes, with a side of fries. Sheetal ordered a salad; she was still eating the third piece of lettuce when he finished his whole order. He noticed her staring at him when he was eating.  To his surprise, Sheetal said she was already stuffed. He put her leftovers in a to-go box for her, paid for both of them and left.  They both still talked in English the whole day. They both said they liked each other and would continue to meet on coming days.

Sheetal and Saumya went out to lunch a few times after that. Saumya found out that Sheetal had a boyfriend in New York and that is one of the reasons she was leaving for New York. She had told him earlier that she had been accepted to a school there.  Saumya was a little surprised to find out about her boyfriend, but he wasn’t very bothered about it or her leaving for New York because deep inside his heart, he knew she wasn’t the right girl for him. He was still hanging out with her just because he liked the feeling of having a girl by his side.

Once Saumya was in the gym, working out, he received a text message from Sheetal. It said “Saumya, party boy, where have you been?  We should go to lunch together, maybe tomorrow.”

“Sheetal, not just lunch, I can take you anywhere and will do ANYTHING to you ;)”


“You turn me on, you make me real, I will have to apologize, for the way I feel ;)” he borrowed the verse from the song Sunspots from Nine inch nails to express his feelings.

He didn’t get a reply. Saumya didn’t hear from Sheetal that day. He didn’t write to her or called her either. He was now too nervous to approach her in any way. After about a week he got a text from Sheetal saying, “Saumya, where have you been, I miss hanging out with you.”
Saumya called Sheetal and arranged to pick Sheetal up at a gas-station near her house. Sheetal said he couldn’t pick her up at her house because her parents would ask questions about who he was. She told him that her parents knew about her boyfriend Akash, and they were very fond of him. She said it wouldn’t look good if they see her hanging out with some other guy. Saumya never insisted to see her house; he always picked her up at the gas-station near it.

They started hanging out even more; they met almost every day. They used to go to theatres to see movies.  Sheetal rested her head on Saumya’s chest while they watched movies. Saumya caressed her hair and arms. They went for long drives, listening to songs. Sheetal always said she would like to hear him sing a song. Saumya thought he was a terrible singer; he thought it would be hilarious if he sang a song so he insisted not to.

Akash used to call Sheetal very frequently when she was with Saumya but she never picked up, by the time Sumya dropped her at the gas-station there would be about twenty missed calls in her phone most of them from Akash and some of them from her home.

“What did you think when you first saw me Saumya?” Sheetal once asked.

“You looked so pretty that day, I wanted to kiss you Sheetal” Saumya said smiling.

“You know I have a boyfriend Saumya, don’t talk to me like that, and you are making me nervous.” Sheetal pretended to be angry, but Saumya could see that she actually wasn’t

“So do you like me Saumya?” she asked

“Of course I like you Sheetal, I liked you since the day I saw you, or I wouldn’t hang out with you, would I?” Saumya said it superficially.

“If I wasn’t in a relationship, would you make me your girlfriend and a life partner?” Sheetal was smiling as she asked this.

Saumya was nervous. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what she expected as an answer. It was a difficult question for him. He never thought that far because she really was a different girl than what he had in mind as a life partner. For a moment, her being Newar also came into play, but he knew it wasn’t a big factor that made her different than what he looked in a life partner.

“I like you very much Sheetal, if you were single, I think you would be a perfect match for me.” He was smiling wide as he said this.

“Don’t lie to me Saumya; you would never marry me, would you?” He was surprised that Sheetal didn’t buy that. She could read his mind right through his eyes.

Once, Saumya and his friends planned to party in a club. Saumya knew Sheetal didn’t like going to clubs as she couldn’t stay out late. But he still asked her if she wanted to go to the party with him. Sheetal hesitantly agreed, under the condition that she should be back by eleven.

They went to the club; Sheetal drank some tequila shots before she danced. He was the designated driver for the night so he restrained from the drinks. She danced with him all the time. Saumya’s friends had never seen Sheetal before. They were surprised that Saumya could hide such a big thing from them; they thought Sheetal was his girlfriend. Looking at the way they danced anybody would suspect the same thing.  Sheetal didn’t care about the time anymore. They danced past midnight; they danced till the club closed at two.

Saumya had to drop Sheetal and his friends at their respective places. On the way back, one of Saumya’s friend said “Sheetal and Saumya, you guys make a good couple”, Saumya looked at his friend and said “We are just friends, so don’t ever say that” Sheetal smiled.

The next day he got a call from Sheetal. Sheetal told him how her parents and her brother got mad at her for staying so late with him. She told him that Akash also knew about her hanging out with him, and he is very mad at her. She said that she had to stop meeting with him if she wants to save her relationship. So, she wouldn’t be meeting him or calling him anymore, and she requested him not to contact her either.Saumya didn’t hear from Sheetal for over two weeks. She wouldn’t pick his calls or call him back. The day she was leaving for New York was arriving. The day before she was leaving for New York, he got a text from her saying, “Saumya, I want to meet with you today, can you come pick me up at the store by my house. “  

Saumya wasn’t very surprised by her text message. He was sure Sheetal wanted to say goodbye before she left. He went to the gas station to pick her up, she was waiting for him already.She was dressed very well that day, she looked more gorgeous than usual. “Let’s go the lakeside, shall we? “  Sheetal said. Saumya drove his car to the lakeside. They talked about how they spent time together.  Sheetal was standing in front of Saumya watching the tides of the lake hit the deck. She grabbed Saumya’s arms and wrapped them around her body.  Then she said, “Saumya, I want you to sing a song for me today. I will help you, will you do that for me, please.” Saumya smiled.

Then Sheetal started, “Timro nyano angaloko maya sadhai rahi rahos…..” Saumya joined her.

“Timro Jeevan sadai sadai bhari fali fuli rahos, timro mero bich dherai kura chan, nikai nai apthero,   man ta chaina timi bata tadha huna bibasta anautho, Aaudai jadai garnu yoo jeevan ma katai tadha nahos bhani. Jeevan ka dherai mod haru ma nabirsidnu bhani…..” Saumya was still wrapping Sheetal in his arms while they sang the whole song.

"Saumya, remember you said that you wanted to kiss me when you first saw me, well, today is the day, tomorrow I will be gone.”  Saumya was nervous now. He wasn’t sure what to do. He could see that Sheetal was serious about it. Sheetal was caressing his head as she said it.  

They kissed at the lakeside for a long time and then Sheetal said, “Let’s go to a place where we can be alone.”  Saumya took her to a hotel and reserved a room. They both came out of the room after a couple of hours. Saumya then dropped Sheetal at her house. Sheetal left for New York the next day.

Sheetal never called Saumya after she left and she didn’t pick his calls either, he found out that she even deleted him from her Facebook.  

Saumya used to pass by the Circuit City almost every day which reminded him of Sheetal.  A month later, Circuit City went out of business and they closed all branches of the nation.

Last edited: 24-Jun-09 08:29 AM

Posted on 06-17-09 1:06 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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luved that song alwaz and luved the transition of narration. though, i thought u rushed too much to make this story short, but said that, liked the ending very much. I hope sheetal's happy n content with akash. Peace!

Posted on 06-17-09 2:18 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Heartbreak story!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right up my alleyway, you have nice narrative standpoint dyna..

Guys really have no control over the will of women, but women can have such a strong grip on ours!

Glad Saumya finally got sum in the end ;)

Is she gonna come back? :D

Posted on 06-17-09 3:11 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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The Last Kiss!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited: 17-Jun-09 03:12 PM

Posted on 06-17-09 6:38 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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 aakash ko lagi
Posted on 06-17-09 6:55 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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thats a short story??
Posted on 06-17-09 7:17 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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poor akash hehe..

Posted on 06-17-09 7:25 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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There is only one question in my head......What they did in hotel room for hours? Are you guys thinking same What i am thinking?

Posted on 06-17-09 7:35 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Yes 8848m. In fact I'm sure of it!

They were watching TV :D haha

Posted on 06-18-09 7:05 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sammy boy if u really loved that girl you would have told her to hold off the kiss till the day she was single Aniways I guess he had his eyes on the prize and was willing to do anything to get it.
In my opinion they were taking singing lessons at the hotel for 2 hours. Since Sheetal thought sammy was a horrible singer she wanted to do him a last favor and a better singer would make for a more datable guy :P :P.

Posted on 06-18-09 10:52 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Very nice story. Heart Breaking!!! Keep Writing.
Posted on 06-18-09 9:59 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks Guys,
perfectionist- I love that song too,, I got too many negative feedback for making my first one too long, so I tried to keep it short. And I am sure Sheetal is doing fine with Akash :D
dekchiedriver- heartbreaking indeed! I know, guys really are in control of women in that aspect. :P
sabaiko_satru- a kiss normally helps a relationship flouristh, but the last kiss ...:S
aastha and girly_girl: I know, sad eh? but Akash doesn't know about it, so i thinks its okay :D
jhan_besmari- it was short wasn't it? :P
8848m- You are thinking what I am thinking :D
dekchiedriver- i think they are doing something more fun than watching TV :P
gwarcha- The question is did Saumya really want to win the competion or did he just want the trophy?
nmsake- yup it was heatbreaking, thanks for your encouragemtent, I will keep writing :D

Thanks for your feedbacks again guys, this is really my second writing ever... so I need more feedbacks, negative ones are welcome too
People said my first one was too long, so i tried to make it short, I realize i could put more details in it, but well, its too late :D


Posted on 06-18-09 11:47 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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very well written dynamite bro... though i felt like you rushed a lil at the end beside that i like the story.. keep em coming... looking forward for more if you got more story =)

Posted on 06-19-09 12:15 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nice story............felt that a piece is missing somewhere at the end but agian great job
waiting for another one

Posted on 06-19-09 5:44 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks last_buddha and amitraaja. I do realize that I rushed a little to make this story a little short.
And there is a big chunk missing at the end of the story, whatever happened in the hotelroom. :P

Posted on 10-06-10 11:30 AM     [Snapshot: 2191]     Reply [Subscribe]
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You said that this is your second story written that you have ever written. The story is already good but knowing that makes it even better. You obviously have a lot of talent. I encourage you to write some more. Beautiful story. I liked how you developed the story.

Posted on 10-06-10 12:24 PM     [Snapshot: 2240]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Just had a curiousity in my mind dynamite, Is this a true story or not? If this is than, well must say it's a great traingular relationship. Good writing dynamite. I likes ...
Posted on 10-06-10 12:39 PM     [Snapshot: 2195]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Awesome piece of writing.Keep it up!!
Posted on 10-07-10 11:41 AM     [Snapshot: 2410]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thank you BABAL khate, boulevard dreams and perika for liking the story.

boulevard dreams- its all out of my imagination..

Thanks again.

Posted on 10-07-10 3:21 PM     [Snapshot: 2445]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Yo story malai man paryo.

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