Final Exam


A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about
tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not
showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an
immediate family member's death.

One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual
exhaustion?" and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the
student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand
to write."

courtesy:- Dreamer

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3 best things about being a woman

The best three things for being a women are:

You can bleed without cutting yourself.
You can bury a bone without digging a hole.
You can make a man come without calling him.

Gas Problem
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.

The next week the lady goes back to his office. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly!"

The doctor says, "Good, Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

Pee By Number
A mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers.
"1. Open your fly. 2. Take out your equipment. 3. Pull back the skin. 4. Do your business. 5. Let the skin forward. 6. Stow your equipment. 7. Close your fly."

She checked on him often to make sure he had learned his lesson, and each time heard him through the outhouse door saying, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 7."
She was pleased with his progress until that day when she passed the bathroom door and heard, "3-5, 3-5, 3-5."

Yo mama is so ugly that she stuck her head out the window,and got arrested for disturbing the peace.

yo mama so stupid when asked "sex" on an application she put m, f and sometimes wednesdays, too.
Yo mama was so poor....that when i came to the door, she stuck her head out of the window & said "Ding-Dong"

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car.