From: www.AyoGorkhali.com

June 13th, 2026
"Bureaucratic Bloopers, Legal Limbo, and Lentils."

Good Morning, Nepal!

1. No More Union-ing for Civil Servants!
The Supreme Court has officially pulled the plug on employee organizations within government services, proving that the only thing our government loves more than a committee is silence. In a split decision that sounds like a group project where no one agreed on the theme, the bench decided that collective bargaining is officially "so last season." Government employees, you’ve been told: focus on your files, not your rights, because your ability to organize has been effectively filed under "archived indefinitely." It seems the only thing left to organize now is the queue for your afternoon tea break.

2. The Multi-Billion Rupee "Waiting Game"
The dynamic duo of financial creativity, Deepak Bhatta and Sulav Agrawal, are currently starring in their own real-life version of "Locked Up." With accusations involving 26 billion and 25 billion rupees, the Special Court is struggling to get through their testimonies, largely because it seems they have a lot—or perhaps absolutely nothing—to say. They’ve been guests of the state for over two months now, and yet, the bureaucratic gears are turning at the speed of a sloth on a Sunday stroll. It is truly a masterclass in how to turn a multi-billion rupee scandal into a years-long courtroom soap opera.

3. A Dark Day on the BP Highway
Our hearts are heavy today following a tragic bus accident on the BP Highway in Kavre that has claimed eight lives and left sixteen people injured. It is a grim, recurring reminder that in our beloved Nepal, a simple bus ride can quickly become a brush with fate. While the authorities scramble to investigate, we are left wondering how many more tragedies it will take before our roads stop feeling like a dangerous gamble. Our deepest thoughts go out to the victims and their families in this time of immense sorrow.

4. The "Visa" Paper Trail Comedy
The Ministry of Education has finally formed a three-member committee to investigate how "fake" documents keep finding their way into study visa recommendations. Because, apparently, it wasn’t obvious that something was fishy until the ministry started looking like an accessory to a global fraud scheme. They have seven days to submit a report, which is just enough time to ensure the paper trail is thoroughly organized or, more likely, completely vanished. We look forward to seeing if this committee finds anything other than more coffee cups and broken staplers.

5. The "Refugee" Saga: Still Running
The "Fake Bhutanese Refugee" drama is back, with defense lawyers gearing up to present their side of the story this coming Monday. The prosecutors have finally finished their theatrical run, and now it’s the defendants’ turn to explain why this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding involving millions of rupees and fake IDs. It’s been so long since this started that we’ve forgotten who’s who, but stay tuned—the plot thickens, even if the progress doesn't.

6. The Rawal Report’s 30-Year Nap Ends
In a stunning move, the government has decided that the Rawal Commission Report—a document older than some of the interns working on it—is finally worth acting upon. After three decades of gathering dust in the basement of history, a new committee has been formed to "facilitate" its implementation. It’s truly heartwarming to see the government finally tackle land encroachment from 2052 BS, proving that "better late than never" is the official motto of Singha Durbar. Maybe by 2100, we’ll actually get some land back!

7. A Sorrowful Monsoon Reminder
Tragedy has struck Kailali again, with two women losing their lives to the flooding Godavari River. As the monsoon season begins in full force, we are once again reminded of how fragile life becomes in the face of nature’s relentless power. It is a sobering start to the season and a call for us all to stay vigilant and look out for one another in these dangerous times. Our hearts go out to the grieving community as they navigate this sudden and heartbreaking loss.

8. Even the Elite Eat "Weevil-Infested" Lentils
In a plot twist that would make a novelist blush, a cafe inside the ultra-secure Singha Durbar complex has been fined 200,000 rupees for serving food that would make a street dog hesitate. Inspectors found weevil-infested lentils, soggy almonds, and cracked eggs—a truly elite dining experience for our nation's finest bureaucrats. It seems the "power lunch" has a whole new, literal meaning, where the corruption is now served right on the plate. At least we know the food safety inspectors are actually working, even if they’re just checking the canteen menu!

9. Light at the End of the Eight-Year Tunnel
After a mere eight years of total darkness, the Koteshwor-Kalanki Ring Road is finally being graced with "Smart Lights." It only took nearly a decade to figure out how to install light bulbs on existing poles, proving that progress in Kathmandu is measured in geological time. We can only hope these lights are actually turned on, rather than becoming yet another decorative monument to our inability to finish basic infrastructure. Still, it’s a bright spot—literally—for all of us tired of driving by the seat of our pants.
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Sita Rana
Chief Sunrise Satirist

Sita distills the daily chaos into nine bite-sized jokes so you can digest the news before your tea gets cold or the Kathmandu smog makes it impossible to see the paper.