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ssnobel64
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 Can you evaluate my lyric and poem?..
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Posted on 01-29-06 11:20 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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my lyric,

"my past mistakes"

verse1:
from the bank of the river,i see the sun is going down
and breezes come from far away to tell the story of
own
as the darkness comes,and as the sadness follows
i am with my wounds,while the river flows
chorus:
my past mistakes now tore me apart
Everyday is hard to live with a broken heart
when shared moments seem like unforgivable crime
I tried to reach her one more time,
verse2:
we were together before in this beautiful place
the flowers,the trees are still in same place
the rhythm of river still reminds our song
the sunset memories so alive what went wrong?
repeat chorus:
Bridge:
I hope someday this river would take me with her
I hope someday these trees would tie me with her
Its hard to heal the wound,which is so deep
Its hard feel homebound,in a lifelong sleep
repeat chorus:

and my poem

Lost Love

after each long day when evenings came
we met and felt the emotions same
holding and heading towards the setting sun
the waited moment in the hideout was so fun

the greatest dreamers though tear in eyes
we saw our hearts wider than all skies
with the growing darkness we held each other
oh! in the full moon,our midnights together

she left the village and promised to come
my life continued in the same old home
i found her in the crowd, a queen to be
oh! she never knew what happened to me


Copyright ©2006 Chet
 
Posted on 01-29-06 11:30 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 01-29-06 7:24 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 01-29-06 7:49 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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A+++++++++++++++++++
 
Posted on 01-29-06 7:54 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Did you just went through BREAK UP dude!!!??
move On... man..
but well written...
;) .. may be she will get back with you..
hahahaha
 


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