Disclaimer: Interpret it as you wish Read Without Prejudice When the battle between my wisdom and inanity is won by the latter, that is when I visit sajha. Sadly, that was not the case a decade ago when my visits were only impelled by the need for insight, which of course sounds nerdy now when I listen to fabulous rappers who grace us with their incredible singing prowess which we enjoy, thanks to our humility, when they cannot charm anyone else outside sajha. Wow, that was one loooong sentence. I actually admire their tenacity, posting one rap after another. The numbers are so good, it makes MC Hammer cry all night if he’d care to listen, the reasons best known only to him. And then there are medical experts with innovative ideas as well who claim prostate cancer is caused by frequently scratching their rear end. I am now waiting for the day when they’d bring about a theory that says watching lots of movies will create colon cancer. My obsession for movies will then perhaps come to an end. With that being said, I want to quit smoking too, wonder if that causes herpes. I have made many friends in this website; good friends; bosom buddies, and I feel awful if something bad happens to them. Recently this fresh off the boat Maoist cadre who was struggling in English got F grade in Communication in his first semester. The reason - he couldn’t help, out of his congenital habit, but write ‘stupid pakhe’ while concluding a research paper on it. The professor didn’t know what pakhe meant, but the word ‘stupid’ beat the living daylights out of his brain - hence fail grade. The same individual also had his wedding called off by his never-could-be father in law because the same jargon was printed in the wedding invitation card. It went like this – ‘ “The honor of your noble presence is requested at the marriage of…… ……on the seventeenth of November, in the year of two thousand and twelfth” “STUPID PAKHE” ‘ It so happened that while his daddy dear was giving supremo Prachanda a backrub with तोरी को तेल on a sunny Saturday afternoon, he went to the local printing press and ordered for one thousand invitation cards. The verbiage was verbatim as aforementioned. Moreover, he also printed the name of the guests from the comfort of his bedroom and distributed all over Maoville few days prior to the wedding. His daddy dear still doesn’t know why the wedding was called off and why none of the guests arrived. He also doesn’t know why his fellow maoist buddies pelted stones at his house and shattered few glass windows. My friend now spends all evening watching facebook photos of the baby shower of his never-could-be bride who married this anti-mao son of a police officer. His frustrations and ire therefore are frequently visible in sajha these days. My other friend is one lucky son of a gun. He has married a गोरी he fondly calls ‘ho’ which she doesn’t seem to mind. But she does seem to raise flags over his affiliation with this stripper and their marriage now seems to be on the rocks. The reason I believe my friend must be an extremely fortunate individual is because despite using a despicable language as ‘ho’ in his household, falling in love with none other woman but a stripper and having a borderline bad communication skills he still managed to land a lucrative job in software industry and retains it to this day. Anyways, he gave me hope - to run for an office despite being born in Nepal. I now, considering whatever skills I have, aspire to be the next president of United States. Hope all sajhaites would vote. Last Friday I was sky’ping’ with some sajha visitors (like I normally do on weekends), this friend of mine disclosed that he and his girlfriend have an open relationship which only she seemed to benefit from and frequently shared bed with their neighbor, sometimes in their bedroom. But this sajha friend didn’t seem to mind because he was ‘white’ – a superior race. I sometimes hear some loud noises in skype session while his girlfriend and his ‘white’ neighbor seem to be copulating where he often calls her a female version of canine species amid moans. My friend is so generous; he takes it as a compliment. “ Hehehe” he laughed “she’d never get pregnant, because they use protection, and condoms were first made by ‘whites’ and they work flawlessly.” Amid amusements and surprises, lately I learnt a ‘one point’ lesson – that if you post a picture of a trio that look no less than three idiots (in this case literally, where one of them clearly seems to disprove Atkin’s advice) multiple times in sajha and over an hour, you could claim that you and your friends are the new generation leaders of Nepalese American just cause you wrote a book no one has read or made a movie no one would ever watch. I could go on and on raving about the magnificence of sajha and how much I’ve learnt from this website but I shall save the rest for later cause I just received an envelope full of benjamins in the mail. The sender was some boy from Boston. ;) Last edited: 16-May-13 10:00 AM
behoove_me · May 16, 2013 9:51 AM · 21,252 views
Hilarious! Add to that a bunch of people who get riled up everytime someone talks about Buddha's birthplace, and you get the entire picture. Not my words, but someone aptly said "Not everyone on sajha is an idiot, the idiots are just really loud."
annehathaway · May 16, 2013 12:10 PM
I am not loud at all @anne. Nice read BM. Perfect for killing time at work
bshal · May 16, 2013 12:17 PM
Last edited: 09-Dec-19 10:41 PM
freedom2012 · May 16, 2013 12:49 PM
LOL, Behoove, are you sure about the last line, My friend we human need friction to move ahead, history of civiliazation have proved that, although during this "moving ahead" march at times, "less important things" have gathered the momentum. And, in majority of instances right have prevailed. Anyway, different opinions/logics and understanding has made sajha colorful. Sometime I ponder what will happen if everyone start to think like me? May be, I wont like to live in that universe. Yes, some of us going beyond the norms of present day society leaves my eyes wide open. You have the magic of putting the words togther with perspective.
_____ · May 16, 2013 12:55 PM
"A true state of the state address for sajha" - Siskel, Ebert & ne0
ne0 · May 16, 2013 1:16 PM
I might not agree with all your posts, Behoove, but I have to say they are always well written. A very good satire at the state of Sajha. I was going to first say that you are giving too much credence and air-time to the people you mention; but then again Sajha is majorly populated by them..why else you would keep seeing idiotic questions and comments most of the time? But thanks to contributors like you, some level of sanity is there. Your first protagonist reminds me of D.B. from Charikot. Don't know what his actual name was but he used to come with his Rayban with, the oh-so-cliched, sticker still on. His favorite song was "Knocking on Heaven's door" and would call everybody pakhe if they had never heard that song. I think the word "pakhe" is used primarily by those who they think they are addressing it to. Aren't most of us Pakhey otherwise? Being from Kathmandu, a valley?
Kiddo · May 16, 2013 2:28 PM
very funny and satristic with crimeless views which even the targets would have enjoyed reading it.Enjoyed it thoroughly--always has reading at your writings--- sketching the current state of Sajha environs and who knows may be someday they would change the constitution and make you President who was born somewhere far away with some transits in between and you may find yourself writing for Sajha from the Oval office.That would be something...lololol.
Alias_ · May 16, 2013 10:20 PM
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bittertruth · May 16, 2013 10:43 PM
Many of sajha big headed dumbfuuuuuucks got owned big time.....I am liking it......
giordano · May 16, 2013 10:54 PM
Well written. Enjoyed reading it.
adventurer · May 17, 2013 10:12 AM
Thanks for visiting guys. Didn't mean to continue this thread but couldn't help it cause trolls in sajha roll faster than the tumbleweed caught in a tornado. So I recently encountered the hubris of a barefaced sajhaite who claimed logging into sajha infested his computer, which, in this era, believe me or faint, is a darn desktop. If I were him, I’d update my pc first before I make that claim. But maybe there is a nano percent credibility to his allegation, because the name ‘sajha’ , as interpreted by his pea size brain did seem to him like a gangbang (much like what he and his five roommates do, with one another, holding their hairy bodies and tweaking their long moustaches) website which he had been watching all along, thanks to the link provided by his dear friend badboy. The virus could have been a result of that. Or maybe his girlfriend simply thinks San Pradhan is cuter. And then there is another sajhaite who questioned the (sexual) potency of entire Nepalese people recently, only because some Maoist Leader’s brother’s vehicle collided with a biker and killed him instantly. This is perhaps the most amusing analogy I have ever heard. That means next time if there is a fire in Burger King, or an Earthquake in Ulan Bator, or a fight between Crips and Chicano gang members I wonder if I need to go the bathroom and look at my wee wee and ensure I am still potent. For your kind info, I am potent, and will always remain one, unless I come across someone as weird as you, the originator of the post, who is named after a rapper and looks like a ‘hoe’ (courtesy my sajhaite friend who calls his wife one). With supporters like such, no wonder that a$$hole in Paras Shah gets such frequent heart attacks. Dilemma galore - Can’t love ‘em, can’t get rid of ‘em – as a result - heart attack. Speaking of heart attack, one of the root causes is eating lots of ‘beacon’ which my ‘hoe’ friend seems to have in his daily culinary regimen. He eats beacon day and night – crispy fried beacons, and belches (that is what I call to threads originated with lesser brain) in sajha. But our poor homie still doesn’t gain weight, so he says. Let me tell you what methinks, dude perhaps weighs as much as Chris Christie, but still looks skinny when he stands beside his 500lbs ‘hoe’. He needs a mirror, where only he could fit in so he sees how fat he is. He then would perhaps stop visiting in sajha and originate threads like ‘why do I have two hands’? (Dimwit, the reason you have two hands is because you cannot get laid). 500lbs reminded me of someone, and that is 'Not sexy even without sari (and nothing underneath)'. Madame Saari, start losing that weight, the Nepalese guys would then start appearing heterosexual to you.
behoove_me · May 20, 2013 10:46 AM
Beehove_me ji, very well woven interpretation of sajhahities I guess. Tapai ko lekhai sadhai majja aaucha padh-daa.......Majja aayo padhera yaspali pani.....
ThahaChaena · May 20, 2013 1:21 PM
LMAO!!! nice read and very satirical...carry on.
TheEvilTwin · May 20, 2013 2:16 PM
Its like slapping right on the face of 3 stooges standing in a row all at once. :)
bittertruth · May 20, 2013 2:37 PM
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