[Show all top banners]

lootekukur
Replies to this thread:

More by lootekukur
What people are reading
Subscribers
:: Subscribe
Back to: Kurakani General Refresh page to view new replies
 To all Moms (and Dads) out there!
[VIEWED 5967 TIMES]
SAVE! for ease of future access.
Posted on 10-20-08 11:45 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
Login in to Rate this Post:     0       ?    
 

I am appalled by this story on CNN. If I were the mom's husband, the LEAST I would have done to her was: spank her all night long with a bamboo stick and ditch her the very next morning :P ...( i know sh*t happens in life..but this is ARRGGHH ...i don't know what to say)

To all parents (especially moms) out there (in case you missed) :

An overwhelmed mom's deadly mistake

Oprah

(OPRAH.com) -- For any mom who's ever felt frazzled, overwhelmed or rushed, Oprah says this show is for you. "It's your wake-up call to slow down," she says. "What happened to my guest today could so easily happen to any of you."

Brenda Slaby still blames herself for her daughter's death. She tells moms to slow down and appreciate their kids.

Brenda Slaby still blames herself for her daughter's death. She tells moms to slow down and appreciate their kids.

Brenda Slaby says she was once an assistant principal and mother of two who tried her best to be "supermom."

"It was very hard trying to be the perfect mom and the perfect employee," she says. "I try to be everything to everybody... I've always been the kind of person that lived for doing things for other people."

Then, on a hot August afternoon in 2007, she says she went from being a good role model for children, a good administrator and a good parent to being the most hated mom in America.

When Brenda woke up on August 23, 2007, she says she knew she had a busy day ahead of her. Summer vacation was coming to a close, and it was the first day back for teachers at her school. That morning, the rush to get out the door was more frantic than usual, she says.

Brenda and her husband, Gary, got their two young daughters, Allison and Cecilia, dressed and ready to go. Then, in a departure from their regular routine, Brenda loaded 2-year-old Cecilia into her car to take her to the babysitter's house.

"I had a dentist appointment, and I asked Brenda to take Cecilia," Gary says. "I normally took both Cecilia and Allison, dropped Cecilia off at the sitter and Allison off at preschool."

With Cecilia sleeping in the backseat, Brenda pulled out of the driveway at about 6 a.m. When she realized it was too early to drop her youngest child off, she decided to run a quick errand. Brenda stopped at the store to buy doughnuts, a treat for the returning teachers.

After loading her car with snacks, she got on the road that led to her school and drove straight there. With her mind racing through all the things she needed to accomplish before teachers arrived, Brenda got right to work. "I had lots of things to set up," she says. "I was nervous and frantic that morning because it was such an important day to get the school year [off] to a great start."

The day began with a staff meeting, followed by lunch. While chatting with new teachers between meetings, Brenda says she talked about her daughters. "My feeling was it was a great first start," she says. "It was going to be a great school year, and it was a great start to the day."

At about 4 p.m., Brenda was in her office, getting ready to head home when all hell broke loose. "A good teacher friend of mine -- sometimes I think it was a blessing it was her -- was on her way home, and she walked by my car," Brenda says. "She ran into my office and she said, 'Brenda, your baby's in the car.'"

Brenda immediately grabbed her keys and raced to the parking lot. "I knew what I was going to find," she says. "I opened my car door, and I remember hearing the voices around me. Teachers who were close to me [were] screaming."

When she got to her car she found Cecilia in the backseat, still strapped into her car seat. Brenda says she grabbed her daughter out of the car as fast as she could, but she knew it was too late.

"I knew she was gone as soon as I picked her up, I knew," she says. "I remember I took her, and I ran through the parking lot with her, screaming her name. Then, what brought me kind of to consciousness, I guess, was somebody from the cafeteria yelled for me to bring her here."

Brenda says she handed her lifeless daughter to someone who tried to revive her. Then, she retreated to another part of the cafeteria and began to pray. "I heard people yelling for ice, and I sat in a ball and I prayed," she says. "I prayed harder than I've ever prayed in my life... But I knew she was gone."

Cecilia died of a heatstroke after being left in the car for nearly eight hours. Outside, temperatures had reached 100 degrees.

Gary was working when he received a frantic call from Brenda's principal. "He said, 'Get over to the school right now,'" Gary says. "And I said, 'What's up?' [He said,] 'It's an emergency.'"

In the car on the way to his wife's school, Gary says he never considered that his child's life might be in danger. "The whole time I'm thinking, 'What disgruntled employee did something crazy?'" he says. "I said, 'Well, maybe something happened to Brenda.'"

When Gary pulled into the school parking lot, he says he saw a lot of commotion. Brenda's principal pulled him off to the side to tell him what happened. "He looked at me and he says, 'Cecilia's dead,'" Gary says. "I didn't even think to ask him, 'How? Why?' I just got up and sort of walked off to be by myself. I was just in shock. I didn't know what to do."

Despite his grief, Gary says he has never blamed his wife for Cecilia's death. "I could have done the same thing very easily," he says. On nights when his wife had to work late, Gary says she'd ask him to pick up the girls from the babysitter's house, a break from their normal routine. A few times, he says he forgot. Oprah.com: How to heal your grief

"I get out of work thinking about what I'm going to do when I get home, this and that. I'm going up the highway, [I realize,] 'Oh, my gosh. I left her at the sitter's,'" he says. "I would have to turn around, go back and get her."

Gary doesn't hold Brenda responsible, but Brenda still blames herself. "I realized the most important person in the world to me lost out because I didn't plan well enough," she says. "She's the one that slipped through the cracks."

The day Cecilia died, Brenda was taken to a police station where she was questioned for more than two hours. During her emotional confession, she says police officers were empathetic. "Never during the questioning did they seem accusatory," Brenda says. One officer assured Brenda that no one thought she meant to hurt Cecilia.

Brenda, on the other hand, was not easy on herself. "Good mothers don't do this," she said during the questioning. "How could I not think of my daughter? I want to die. I just want to die."

Brenda admits she had left Cecilia in a running car before, but she says she never made a habit of it. "The day that Cecilia died was so different because I completely forgot that she was there," she says.

While the police may have been empathetic, Brenda says her community was not. "My community was in outrage," she says. "I was the most hated mom."

Although Brenda says her staff and principal were wonderful to her, she says the decision makers in the school district decided they wanted nothing to do with her. Oprah.com: How to slow down

Although coping has been difficult, Brenda says she has found a higher purpose that is helping her move forward. "Almost immediately, I said, 'How am I going to make something out of this?' I have been given this to bear for a reason, and I'm not going to let Cecilia's life be in vain. That I'm going to use what I've learned in this whole process to change lives for other people."

Brenda says the lesson she learned that she wants to pass on to other moms is to slow down -- don't become overwhelmed with perfection. "I've learned to say a lot, 'It just doesn't matter,'" she says. "The house doesn't matter, the perfect dinner doesn't matter -- the kids matter."

From "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "A Overwhelmed Mom's Deadly Mistake" © 2008
 
Posted on 10-20-08 11:59 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
Login in to Rate this Post:     0       ?    
 

gr888 story lootekukur.. this might be the good example for all those moms who cares about there profession and personality rather than there family. I guess there are lot of american moms who such kind of things.. my professor at my college is one real example.. she works so hard that she is considered as one of the very good professor but sometimes i wonder does she give her time to her family or not bhanera.. well who knows???
 
Posted on 10-20-08 12:02 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
Login in to Rate this Post:     0       ?    
 

 so sad

"The house doesn't matter, the perfect dinner doesn't matter -- the kids matter."

 thank you for sharing , loote


 
Posted on 10-20-08 1:27 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
Login in to Rate this Post:     0       ?    
 

this might be the good example for all those moms who cares about there profession and personality rather than there family

hey boulevard-of-broken-dreams!
pardon my interpolation, but i smell a tinge of male hypocrisy or oh-you-are-mom-and-you-should-take-care-of-the-family-and-not-we-dads-coz-we-work kinda chauvinistic message in your statement ;P. i don't think any responsible moms would  care only about their profession/career and not their family...there are some -- and this applies to fathers as well -- who, under stress or for various other reasons, put other things (profession/career in this case) first and tend to forget the fact that there are other responsibilities which deserve higher priorities in their lives.

and i think this story is a wake-up-call for all of them.

+++++++++++++

and i guess there are some parents (especially working moms who are not that apt to cope up with both family and work pressure together :P), who need stress-relief-exercises so as to make sure the stress from their work do not affect their personal/family life.



 
Posted on 10-20-08 1:50 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
Login in to Rate this Post:     0       ?    
 

One precious life is lost. Very sad!

(I'd heard another similar story , that was on Oprah last year if I recall it  correctly.)


 
Posted on 10-20-08 7:00 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
Login in to Rate this Post:     0       ?    
 

I have 2 very young kids and constantly I am worried about what if I am too busy with the older one 's demands  and I get caught up and leave the baby in the car. One time my husband took the car seat off the strollers loaded the baby in the car and left the stroller behind and drove off. What if we load one child and forgot the other one back in the stroller? It's a scary thought but it could happen to anyone. Mom OR Dad can make the mistakes so it's not a blaming game.

 


Please Log in! to be able to reply! If you don't have a login, please register here.

YOU CAN ALSO



IN ORDER TO POST!




Within last 365 days
Recommended Popular Threads Controvertial Threads
श्राद्द
TPS Re-registration
सेक्सी कविता - पार्ट २
What are your first memories of when Nepal Television Began?
पाप न साप घोप्टो पारि थाप !!
पुलिसनी संग - आज शनिवार - अन्तिम भाग
निगुरो थाहा छ ??
ChatSansar.com Naya Nepal Chat
TPS Re-registration case still pending ..
Lets play Antakshari...........
What Happened to Dual Citizenship Bill
Basnet or Basnyat ??
Sajha has turned into MAGATs nest
NRN card pros and cons?
is Rato Bangala school cheating?
मेरो अम्रिका यात्रा -२
Do nepalese really need TPS?
कता जादै छ नेपाली समाज ??
susta manasthiti lai ke bhanchan english ma?
कृष्ण नै अन्तिम सत्य
Nas and The Bokas: Coming to a Night Club near you
राजदरबार हत्या काण्ड बारे....
Mr. Dipak Gyawali-ji Talk is Cheap. US sends $ 200 million to Nepal every year.
Harvard Nepali Students Association Blame Israel for hamas terrorist attacks
TPS Update : Jajarkot earthquake
is Rato Bangala school cheating?
NOTE: The opinions here represent the opinions of the individual posters, and not of Sajha.com. It is not possible for sajha.com to monitor all the postings, since sajha.com merely seeks to provide a cyber location for discussing ideas and concerns related to Nepal and the Nepalis. Please send an email to admin@sajha.com using a valid email address if you want any posting to be considered for deletion. Your request will be handled on a one to one basis. Sajha.com is a service please don't abuse it. - Thanks.

Sajha.com Privacy Policy

Like us in Facebook!

↑ Back to Top
free counters