From: www.AyoGorkhali.com

May 24th, 2026
Good Morning Nepal!

1. The Throne is Shaking: KP Oli's Comrades Suddenly Remember the Word 'Retirement'
Well, it turns out the "Gundu Resort" political retreat isn’t going as smoothly as planned, since even KP Oli's closest allies are now politely pointing toward the exit. It takes a unique kind of political magic for your own General Secretary, Shankar Pokhrel, to suddenly decide the party needs a complete "reboot" while you're still holding the remote. Yogesh Bhattarai practically wrapped a resignation letter in a gift bow, proving that in Nepali politics, loyalty has the shelf life of an open carton of milk. Hopefully, this newfound love for accountability means our leaders might actually retire before they qualify for archeological preservation.

2. The 35 Million Rupee Ghost Train
We managed to successfully misplace or misuse 35 million rupees in the name of a railway project that has seen more financial paperwork than actual tracks. It’s truly fascinating how our budget can travel at bullet-train speeds into private pockets while the actual trains remain a figment of our collective imagination. You have to admire the sheer consistency of our system—if only we built infrastructure as fast as we build excuses, we’d be connected to Mars by now. Let's just hold onto the hope that one day, a Nepali train will actually arrive on a track, rather than just appearing as a line item in an audit report.

3. The Six-Lane Stretch: Suryabinayak-Dhulikhel Road Gets a Face Lift
The Arniko Highway is currently getting a massive six-lane upgrade, and for once, the construction crews are actually moving faster than a tectonic plate. It only took three years of eating dust and testing our car suspensions to finally see a road that looks like it belongs in the 21st century. Of course, the real challenge will be teaching drivers that six lanes are meant for traffic flow, not for parking their vehicles sideways or grazing cattle. Still, seeing actual blacktop instead of endless potholes gives us wild, reckless hope that we might reach Dhulikhel without needing a spinal alignment afterward.

4. Auntie Ashta Strikes Back: "The Party Isn't Your Private Property, KP!"
Former Vice-Chair Ashta Laxmi Shakya took to Facebook to reminds Chairman Oli that UML is supposed to be a political party, not a private limited company registered under his name. Writing a scathing reality check while sitting right inside Oli's own residence is the kind of top-tier drama that even television writers couldn't skript. It seems three full terms at the helm wasn't quite enough to cure the Chairman's stubbornness, but a public call-out from a veteran leader certainly wakes everyone up. Here's hoping the party finally remembers it runs on the sweat of its grassroots workers, not just the ego of its top boss.

5. Gagan Thapa’s Golden Handshake: "Follow the Rules or Goodbye!"
Congress General Secretary Gagan Thapa announced that anyone breaking party bylaws will be given a polite "thank you" and shown the nearest exit door. It is truly refreshing to see a Nepali politician suggest firing people for bad behavior rather than promoting them to a higher committee out of fear. Naturally, trying to clean up a major political party of chaos is like trying to sweep a beach during a hurricane, but you have to appreciate the enthusiasm. Let’s cross our fingers and hope this trend spreads to the rest of the government, so we can finally start giving "thank you cards" to incompetence everywhere.

6. Hetauda Textile Mill: Trying to Revive the Dead (Again)
Minister Gauri Kumari Yadav took a field trip to the long-abandoned Hetauda Textile Mill and boldly declared that the government is dead serious about restarting it. We have heard this exact same promise from about twelve different ministers over the last two decades, making the factory's revival the country's favorite mythical story. It’s beautiful to imagine a future where "Made in Nepal" clothes come from our own state-run mills rather than relying entirely on imports that drain our wallets. We will keep our fingers crossed that this time, the machinery actually spins textile fabric instead of just spinning more political propaganda.

7. Rupandehi's Kitchen-Counter Central Bank: Two Counterfeiters Busted
Local police arrested two ambitious entrepreneurs who decided to bypass the central bank entirely and print their own currency using a basic home computer and a pair of scissors. You have to mock the absolute audacity of thinking a standard office printer could replicate national currency well enough to fool anyone past a dark nightclub. It turns out that cutting out paper money with scissors isn't a sustainable economic model, no matter how bad the inflation gets. Thankfully, the police wrapped this up quickly, proving that while our real economy has major issues, we still draw the line at arts-and-crafts money.

8. The Leaf-Plate Pioneer: How 60-Year-Old Devi Changed Her Fortune
While politicians argue over chairs, 60-year-old Devi BK is busy running a leaf-plate (Duna-Tapari) factory and out-working people half her age. She has turned simple forest leaves into a thriving business, proving you don't need a corporate MBA to create a green, sustainable local economy. By employing her neighbors and sourcing materials from the wild, she has turned what used to be forest waste into actual household income for 40 local women. It’s stories like Devi’s that remind us that Nepal’s true resilience lives in its village entrepreneurs, not its capital city politicians.

9. Ministry to Students: Check the Approved List Before Buying a Ticket to Australia
The Education Ministry has released a massive list of 1,459 approved consultancies, begging students not to hand their life savings over to unverified, shady basement offices. It is an annual Nepali tradition for students to get tricked by smooth-talking agents promising a golden future abroad, only to end up stranded with a fake visa. Apparently, checking a government website is a lot to ask in the age of TikTok, but the ministry is trying its absolute best to protect everyone. Hopefully, our bright young minds will use their research skills on the approved list before packing their bags for Sydney.
------------------------
Sita Rana

Chief Sunrise Satirist

Sita distills the daily chaos into nine bite-sized jokes so you can digest the news before your tea gets cold or the Kathmandu smog makes it impossible to see the paper.