जरुरि सुझाब चाहियो साथीहरु |
६ बर्ष अघि म अमेरिकामा PHD degree गर्नको लागि आउन लाग्दा मेरी प्रेमिकाले तगारो हलिन | "तिमि ५ बर्षको लागि जान्छौ म चाही नेपालमा तिमि बिना एक्लै कसरि बाच्नु" भनेर दिनै जसो बिलौना गर्न थालिन | धेरै जनाको सल्ला र सुझाब पछि, हामीले काठमाडौँ नगरपालिकामा गई बिबाह दर्ता गर्ने र पछी मैले उनीलाई dependent भनि अमेरिका बोलाउने कुरा निर्णय गर्यौ र तेसै अनुसार बिबाह दर्ता गर्यौ | तेस पछि म अमेरिका आएँ | तर केहि समय पनि बित्दा नबित्दै हामीहरु बीच धेरै misunderstanding हुन थाल्यो | बिस्तारै हाम्रो सम्बन्ध नै चिसो हुन थाल्यो | उनले रिसै रिस को झोकमा अस्ट्रेलिया apply गरिन र तेही पढ्न गईन | त्यहाँ गएको केहि महिना त उनि मेरो सम्पर्कमै आइनन् | पछी एक्कासी तथानाम लेखेर एउटा email पठाइन | उनले मेरो मुख पनि हेर्न मन नलागेको र अब उपरान्त कुनै हालत मा उनले म संग सम्पर्क नगर्ने र मैले पनि उनीलाई कहिलेइ सम्पर्क नगर्नु भनेर लेखेकी थिईन | उनको mummy ले उनलाई मैले उनको life destroy गर्न सक्छ भन्नु भाको रे | म नाथे एउटा झिंगाको त life destroy गर्न सक्दिन | तेत्रो ५ वर्ष देखि माया पिरती लाएको मान्छे लाइ किन तेसो गर्थे होला र ?! फेरी म माथि तेस्तै अविस्वास रहिछ भने तेत्रो ५ वर्ष सम्म चाही किन मलाई boyfriend बनाएर बसेकी होलिन | म त कहिले कहिँ सोच्या सोच्येई हुन्छु | खैर , अहिले त्यो कुराको केहि अर्थ छैन | तर जेसुकै भएपनि मैले उनको इच्छा को सम्मान गर्दै उनीसंग कहिलेइ सम्पर्क गरिन | केहि अघि सुन्नमा आयो उनको त बिहा भएर बच्चा पनि भै सकेछ | जे होस् उनको जीबन राम्रो संग चलिराख्या रहिछ | I am happy for her.
अस्ति december मा मेरो पनि graduation भयो | तेही पढेकै University मा काम गर्छु | करिब ३ महिना अघि म संगै school मा पढेको साथी मेरो सम्पर्कमा आईन | उनिको पनि मेरो जस्तै life को बारेमा सोच्दा सोच्दा life चाही जहाको तेही अड्किएको रहिछ | उनको पनि बिबाह भएको रहिन छ | School मा पढ्दा उनि मलाई सारै मन पर्थिन | तर कुरो कहिल्येई आगाडी बढ्नै सक्या थिएन | अब यसपाली चाही मौका खेर जान दिने पक्ष्यमा थिईन म | झट्टै बिबाह को प्रस्ताब राखे, उनले स्विकारिन | उनि नेपाल मा छिन | April मा बिहे गर्ने कुरा दुबैको घर पक्छ्य बाट निर्णय भैसक्यो | अब समस्या भने ६ वर्ष अघि गरेको बिबाह दर्ताको भै राख्या छ | म र मेरो पहिलो प्रेमिका भनौ या श्रीमती भनौ, हाम्रो बीच formal divorce कहिल्येई भा छैन | उनको त सबै set भै सक्या छ | अब उनि मलाई चिन्दा पनि चिन्दिन भन्दै हिडछिन रे | It's as clear as a crystal - I can't expect any sort of help from her. अब divorce प्रक्रिया नै पुरा नगरी फेरी बिबाह दर्ता गर्न मिल्ने हो कि नमिल्ने हो? लौन बुद्धिजिबी साथीहरु हो, यसो सल्ला र सुझाब पाउँ न - म संग के विकल्पहरु छन् होला ? I would be very obliged to you for your suggestions.
Last edited: 11-Mar-12 01:34 AM
म भाको भए चैँ छ नी ब्रो यो कूरो पैले करण जोहरलाई ईमेल गर्थेँ। जाँठोले गतीलो फील्म बनाउँथ्यो ।
@ one that got away: kasto nachahine kura gareko
@thakkhola: yahan manchhe haru le aa afno views bhanchan tara timile lawyer lai sodhnu bes huncha. Right now you could be considered as seperated. It is nice of you not to take any action against you "wife" however you don't know how the party is going to handle the situation. Timro ani timro ahile ko gf ko maan milekai cha; I would suggest not to get married without getting divorced. Since, your "wife" is already married, it shouldn't take long to get the legal documents (probably abt 6 months).
Good luck bro!
Geshe and Ben Zoc, thank you both for your reply/suggestions. मैले नेपालमा Attorney संग consult गरिसकें | उसको अनुसार divorce लिन को लागि दुवै पक्ष्य अनिबार्य अदालतमा उपस्थित हुनैपर्छ रे | एक्कल रुपमा केहि गर्न मिल्दैन रे | Sajha मा कहिले काही धेरैनै अनुभबी र बुद्धिजिबीहरु ले पनि कमेन्ट गरेको देख्छु | तेही भएर मैले पनि यसो आशा गर्या हो |
Last edited: 11-Mar-12 09:24 AM
@ Thakkola: It is what it is brother. I am glad youy have decided to move on. I am not an expert on marriage and divorce issue but a rational guess would be since you are married in nepal your divorce has to be in nepal too. The good thing is since your ex wife is already married you prolly dont have to go through a lot of hassle....but again we stay in US and talking about divorce in Nepal...so whatever it is, hopefully it works out in your favor soon!
@thakkola, not all men are real men. Some go after the dead relationships and create chaos and drama. I call them 'pu$$ies'. Unlike you seem wise and distinct as you've decided to move on and I feel the good virtue as you've wished good for your ex. That's what a real man would do. I'm also happy that things are turning good for you as you've met your childhood crush and coincidentally(I hate this world co-incidence anyway :p) things are turning in favor of you.
Now you may think she's married, you're gonna get married(supposedly) here(or there wherever) in US , wth, why should you even bother to go there and have all those hassle of divorce and stuff. Well, many have done that without a problem. That old relationship is dysfunctional. They're on their own now. Who cares right?
Well, I've also seen that this guy getting so rich, and all of a sudden this old ex-girlfriend(precisely ex-wife) shows up posing herself as his wife out of nowhere with all the legal proofs. The guy has no other choice but to share most of what he earned.
So, long story short, divorce her immediately, leave no trace of your once good old relationship with her. Think of your future. And, yes, you can file the paper by yourself if she has betrayed you. There is a separate law for that. You need to talk to other lawyers. And, yeah you to be in Nepal. There are ways around. Get help of your family members. (yesai beijat, usai beijat .. face it bravely bro)
Bittertruth is right, you have to get divorce first. And about youe ex not helping you, there should be some legal way. Especially when you guys have been separated for so long, lawyers should be able to find some way out. Incase you don't, just go to your ex and ask her to get you divorce coz she is married too and i am pretty sure she wants to get it over with too. Its great that you guys have moved on and time heals everything.
And if everything fails, you just got to prove that she is married and moved on.
Hmm...so you consulted a lawyer already and are turning to Sajha to get a better answer. Your decision making process is impeccable.
In all cases, you have to file for the divorce first. Sure, your marriage is still not recognized in US, but your ex could come back anyday in the future and claim that you are still married to her; even if she doesn't, why leave that chance?
Start the proceedings for a divorce. I am sure your ex also wants to move on; tell her that your marriage still holds in Nepal and that you both need to get divorce, don't tell her that you're going to get married yet..the burden of making this happen falls solely in your shoulders otherwise.
ok havenot posted anything for last 1 year , decided to reply this to help OP
you can apply for divorce in USA and only one party has to be present unlike in Nepal. Talk to family lawyers. they will prepare the document , send it to you ex-wife to sign, she can go to JP ( same as notorized) and sign infront of JP and this will become the legal document. then you can lodge the divorce application in you state. they will send you the certificate of divorce and it will become absolute after certain time( depend on state law).most of the time if the children and property is not involved you dont even need to attend the court.
Report her to Nepal police so next time she goes through Nepal airport she will be arrested for 'bahu bibaha'. Have the police inform you when they capture that bitch and you can take the next flight to Tribuvan International Airport and have her sign her release form.
@p_didi why u calling her biatch??? U don't know other side of the story. May be its noones's fault the relationship went bad or may be coz of guy or girl's sole fault. May be she felt unwanted or found out he is not the right guy (whatever the reason be, don't matter), that don't make anyone biatch. Listen to one side of the story give them opinion while respecting the other side coz you haven't heard their story.
@bittertruth, @goddamn , @pepsi and @vname. thank you all for your suggestions.
Guys - the problem is that I'm not getting married in US, but in Nepal. The expectation [ from everyone] here is that I bring her to US on a dependent visa. To apply for the visa, we'd need a marriage certificate. But, in Nepal, in records, I'm already married to someone else.
@p_didi - i don't think i'll achieve anything by setting her up. let her live her life happily. i'm just trying to figure out ways to be with a person I've always loved and be a little happy myself.
@vname - The lawyer whom I spoke to suggested that the country of divorce should be the same as country of marriage. The Court of Law in Nepal is not obligted to honor a devorce certificate from another country.
@Kiddo - I liked your sarcasm. Blame it on my poor judgement again. Lawyers suggest you the stuff that brings them money. From my past experience - sometimes, a non-lawyer has better ideas than a lawyer. I'm exploring Sajha for few suggestions. I hope it's not a crime.
Last edited: 13-Mar-12 08:19 PM
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