Hey pass some badam and suntala over, lets sit in the sun and eat badam suntala and talk about politics. :D
mR. hyDe,
that IS an ugly fantasy, please spare us :D haha.
Maybe "Frail Old Girija" is responsible for the scarcity of Yarchagumba up in the mountians. ;)
I can imagine him chewing off a coupla caterpillar heads while some unfortunate women weep hysterically in the background, clutching onto plane tickets to Bollywood.
Anyhooo, my hot blooded brothers and sisters, who shall we punch today?
/rolls wheel of fortune.
And the winner is:
(drumroll)
Mother Teresa !
I don't think so.
/rolls again
Commrade Prachande!!!
LETS GET HIM!
you: Why?
me: I dunno, he just seems like he's a very bad guy whos put our country in deep shit! Plus I really have this craving to punch someone. Maybe his nose is itching for a beating.
you: (laughs) The country ALREADY was in deep shit before he came.
me: Still, lets get him, I wanna punch someone.
you: Punch yourself silly man.
(passes badam suntala).
me: So you arent a true Nepali? ! :(
you: (stops eating badam) What did you say?
me: I said, if you dont participate in bashing prachande, FOG (Frail Old Girija) will come with a mouthful of caterpillars and rape your household and your neighborhood, and you will not only lose your assvirginity, but also your citizenship. You won't be a true nepali.
you: .... but i am...i try to be...i try shoo hard!
me: its not working. you loser... you arent nepali..go join india!!
you: so if I help bash prachande, I will regain my Nepali-pan?
me: thats how it works. i think.
you: (rips shirt like Hulk Hogan) PRACHANDE M*J* RAN** ** ****O KATA CHAS! AIJA BAHIRA MUSA! TALAI KAAT DINCHU! BUJHIS M*J*??
me: (battle cry) PRAACHAAANDDEEEEE!!!!!!!!
[curtains close with two running like madmen through fields of grazing sheep]
***********************THE END**********************************
DD Sir!! Hilarious and very contextual, conceptual and all those -ous
and -uals :D!! You hit the hot with the hottest!!:D Zis sheet xis
funxyy!!
However, I still do not understand the motive behind these violent
outbursts of profanity, dismembering and sexual innuendo regarding the
thread issue and the creator of this thread. The creator has given us
10 plus 1 benefits. And all the true patriots have started bashing the
thread and the supporters alike.
Lets discuss the points, shall we?
1. Nuclear power in the 4th largest economy. Hmmm.. No, we do not need
that. Why do we need nuclear power. We are already a peace
zone..whatchamacallit..."shanti kshetra". Nobody can attack or invade
us militarily anyways (or that is what I would like to think). And 4th
largest economy! We have been living under depravity and utter
recession and depression for so long, that prosperity seems a far
fetched and unattainable quest, or more so, given the present
happenstances, we are not interested in prosperity and development. Who
has time to do all that peace crap and development, when you can make a
day worth attending a "julus" and maybe a lifetime earning if you "buy"
a seat in parliament or in any government office or even customs at
TIA. So, why would you want to be a part of a 4th largest economy and
lose your identity rather than being the way you are, and intact your
pride and patriotism. Duhh!!!
2.Bollywood. Who gives a crap about bollywood anyways! :D Sachin, who?
Amitabh, he is old anways. Prashant is not Nepali, to start with. But
funnily, I remember most of the dialogues of Sholay verbatim, and know
that Sachin is the best batsman in the world, but I never heard of Dev
Narayan Chaudhary ( I am worried I got his name right) that he was or
is a star althelete in Nepal. I have vague memories of Rajesh Hamal
singing "aaudai jaadai garnu hai sab lai ram ram" but I think some
Indian singer sang the song. Not sure though! Point being, Bollywood is
more popular in Nepal than Kollywood itself, and Indian players get
more recognition than our Nepalese sportsmen. Prashant who??
3. I have seen plethora of Nepalese-Indian restaurants in the US. Only
a handfuls have authentic Nepalese cuisine. So, rest of them have
Indian before Nepalese written in their boards and menus. I was in this
Nepalese restaurant in Seattle few weeks ago, run by a Bhutanese Nepali
lady. I got the best service than I have got in any Nepalese
restaurants in the US; food was mediocre, but I felt very comfortable
with the service and I overlooked the fact that only 10 percent of the
food was Nepalese, and funny enough, the name was Himalayan Taste. Now,
you do the maths. Her business was booming, and everybody had but only
good words for the place. And I was in this Nepalese restaurant in
Madison, excited to be in an authentic cuisine restaurant. Too bad they
were closed because of Christmas, and I secretly felt glad they were
closed because the curb appeal was next to none, and it didnot seem
like a great place. But all I hear about the place is only wow. So, no
hard feelings there, but it would be more nice if they did a better job
at attracting even Nepalese customers. I wonder if it is just the food
that drew all those wows or an obligatory lauding just because it is
our authentic cuisine. Just naming Everest or Sagarmatha and hanging a
couple of oil paintings of Nepal won't make it a great place.
4. Flying into Nepal from anywhere in the world, especially from The EU
and the US is a nightmare in itself, either it is through Delhi or
Kathmandu. So, why not we save 400 bucks flying into Nepal through
Delhi without any passport issues or visa problems. We are getting the
same treatment and problems in Kathmandu anyways. At least we won't
feel betrayed for being exploited by our own people rather than those
bloody Indians who we already hate. Agree? No? Man...I cannot reason
with you then. :D
5. A couple of weeks ago, one white couple, happy with my cheerful
disposition and great conversation regarding the current recession,
finally asked me the most dreaded question, "Where are you from?"
I said, "Nepal."
"Oh Nepal, such a beautiful place, I hear. Isn't it a part of India, or China? I hear a lot of Tibetans are in Nepal."
I was dumbstruck.
"No, it is a separate country. India and China are only neighbors. And the Tibetans are refugees."
"Oh, I see! I was always confused whether Nepal is in India or China."
It just killed the buzz of the whole conversation, and they left, apologizing for their bad Geography.
And to the debate that whether Buddha was born in Nepal or India, well,
after the inclusion, there will not be any such debates nor any
facebook groups with ludicrous titles. We will all be ONE.
6. Now this point really takes my breath away. Protests and arson in
the roadblocks over usage of Hindi in the parliament. It is really
confusing, as to why those leaders, use Hindi in the places like
Parliament. I hear Nepali is a regional language in India already. That
perplexes me as well. But I satisfy my curiosity and dissatisfaction
thinking that Spanish is the second official language in the US. And I
can see notices in the US government buildings and offices in at least
6 or 7 foreign languages. But I believe they still speak English in the
Senate and Congress. So, this will benefit in less protests and
roadblocks and arson in the roads, and save us many tires, otherwise
primarily used for transportation. If it does not stop, we will be the
second biggest importers of JK tires and Ceate tires, first being SriLanka. It still breaks my heart to see a father carrying his young son
home with plastered leg on his back when the spectators are busy
participation in a roadblock. Thank God, they did not burn tires!!
7. We call them, Dhoti, Madhisey, Marsyaa. And they call us Bahadur.
See the difference. They still feel threatened by us in name giving. I
still crack at this joke.
A vegetable man says along, " Aloo lei lo, pyaaz lei lo." And goes
about the neighborhood asking to sell his fresh merchandise. Then he
knocks in one Newar's house.
"Sahuni, aalo lei lo, pyaaz lei lo!"
Sahuni asks her son to go see who it is. "Swo su kha?" (see, who is it?)
The son hurries to the door, opens it, sees him and shuts the door and comes to his mom. Sahuni asks him,"Su kha?" (Who is it?)
The son replies nonchalantly," Suna makhu, marsyaa kha!" ( Nobody, it is just the Marysaa [Madhisey in KTM slang])
I hear one black teenager say to another, " Nigger, you fool to do that." The other black teenager laughs it off.
I again hear one white teenager say to another black teenager,"Nigger,
you fool to do that." ( in the same accent). Five minutes laters, I see
the white teenager limping on his way to the restroom, with bruises on
his face. (sure, I didnot see it, I made it up)!!
You get my point?
8. We already do that, don't we? :D
9. I hear and see petitions being signed about the illegal encroachment
of Nepalese borders. I hear people arguing about it. But what I do not
get it, what the f**k are these politicians doing about it. I have not
heard of anything. So, what can we do? We can take our "Mashaal Julus"
to the Indian part of the border, burn some tires, burn the Indian flag
and maybe some effigies, and plant our big Nepalese flag as a retort to
such shameful act. Only pray that they won't open fire on us. The US or
UN is not interested in Indo-Nepal border conflicts. They are busier in
other important things. Like monitoring the Iranian election closely
and debating whether they should invade Iran for their atrocious
people-killing response to the protests of the outcome of the election.
Or they are worried if N Korea becomes a nasty rogue nation and whether
they should put the mongrel of Kim down. They are already scratching
their heads for Iraqi invasion. So, they need to be extra careful this
time. No border, no conflicts, no tension!!
10. I hear times and again, Indian consultancies exploit Nepalese. Only
Nepalese are working for these consultancies? No other nationalities
work through them. I have no idea. But what I know for sure is, given
the picture, Nepalese are the small fraction of the workforce these
consultancies employ, Indians and other foerign graduates and workers
being the larger chunk. Still, they manage to exploit only Nepalese.
Well, that problem will soon be over.
Pheww...Those were many interesting benefits.I would love to discuss
the disadvantages too, but I am tired for now. Maybe next time :D!!
Now a word of advice for the Die-Hard Wolverine-esque Patriots:
Hard liners are what put people and nations in the misery. Everybody is
entitled to their opinion and views put across for a civil debate, in
order to gain a common solution. In my honest opinion, true patriots
are the one who ruin the country, but then, at the same time, true
patriots are the one who build the nation and economy and well-being.
They are the flip-side of the coin. It is only a matter of what you use
your patriotism in, being a Medusa or being a Midas. And if you do not
understand the allusion, I am sorry I, yet again, fail to put my views
across in more comprehensible manner. Take your pick, Medusa or Midas.
Either way, we are f***d, but lets decide how bad or how good we want
it to be.
10 Original Benefits of Indian Takeover of Nepal (Unaltered/ Unedited):
1. We will be a nuclear state with world's 4th largest economy.
2. We can be openly proud of Sachin Tendulakar, Amitabh Bacchan and Lata Mangheskar, including Prashant Tamang without any hesitation.
3. Any Nepali running a restaurants in US need not falsely add Nepali and Indian cuisine in his board just to attract Indian customer.
4. We will not have to think 100 times before flying to Nepal via Delhi despite of the ticket price being 400 dollars cheaper.
5. We will never have to argue again against anyone for claiming Nepal as a part of India or Birth place of Buddha being in India.
6. We will save lot of tiers and energy used to protest against use of Hindi language in our parliament (which has become common in last few years).
7. We can openly use "dhoti" and "madhsey" to call Indian without offensive anyone again. (A black never feels offended being called Negar by another Black).
8. We can proudly stake our claim on Bollywood movies, Chicken Tikka Masala and Masala Dosa at the same time.
9. We will not have to be embarrassed time and again for not being able to do anything against Indian encroachment in Nepali territory.
Last but not the least:
10. Indian consultant and employers will have one less reason to exploit Nepalese.
It seems my 10 new benefits of Indian takeover of Nepal were unable to satisfy some of my friends at Sajha. Some of them such as Ajay Devegan Chacha, haan.the.tato and whatsaybrother were visibly vocal against it. Some other such as Local chicken and hippie LoKai had no clue what they were saying put they literally tried really hard to get their point across. I truly appreciate their views and thank you all that agreed and disagreed with my views. I thank you all for participating in the discussion but I just believe that a person should use the language he/she is not ashamed of using in front of his mom.
Anyway, I don’t intend to preach you guys on the language you are using as all of us are grown up human being and all of us are truly capable of using the words that some of us are using and in same or more intensity. But we do care about other readers who visit this website so are cautious about the words we use. Please care about the words you use to reply.
Last edited: 24-Jun-09 11:08 PM
I was so scared that whatever feeling i had in my mind about union of Nepal and India is just me. deshbhaktanepali and mcmxc, you guys can count me in.
Skimmese would be in very pathetic position had they not been annexed by India. I dont hear Indian Police and Army ( from rest of the india) raping and killing skimmese. They are proud indians and yet genuine skimmese. They are more able to preserve their heritage now then they were when they were ruled by their king.
Being part of india is not same as being its colony. We become India's citizens.
People from places like Dolpa and Humla can finally see a motorized vechile in their lifetime plying in their districts. People like us who are among 'elite' Nepalese( using a computer itself make u an elite nepalese) can compete with the rest of the Indians on many oppurtunities India has to offer.
Nepalese can be proud of their country not just for sagarmatha and gautam buddha. BTW sagarmatha being located in nepalese border and buddha happen to born in lumbini doesnt make nepal great, right?
Disadvantages might happen to our netas who might come under central govt scrunity, some big media houses like Kantipur whose monopoly might end after india times start a new nepali paper, to big officers in police, army n nijamati for the same reason as for netas, to illicit and corrupted business like transporters who stop plying their vechile when govt decide to lower the fares, to 20 to 30-member ethnic party who have ability to do nepal-bandh by having a news-piece published in Kantipur.
and to the would be DV-Lottery winners( guess what? u r dis qualified. LOL.the last one was only for fun)
We should have this debate going on in sajha. One Pakistani once said, "Guess how powerful India and Pakistan would be if they are not spending all their money in defending themselves from one another but creating a greater country keeping religion well aside. India-Pakistan re-union would harm only harliners on both sides but would benefit whole majority of commoners".