.
I would rather call myself a barbarian, if civilized men are like that!
Absolutely loved the story Amber, for it wouldnt have been a story without the U-turn leading to a pathetic relation between the two characters, Pratima and Arun.
Black Level?
Haven't heard about it before if it's not Black Label you wanna mean.
Only an 8-year old, naive Shristi could have written this story the way it is. I like it.
Amongst mouse clicks around cyberia I always make my frequent pit stops at sajha which has become a nicer place. Thanks to writers like you who take out valuable time out of your daily routines to provide such wonderful gifts - something for the soul and the mind. You have become the name I look for and read postings in addition to sum_off and galt. I wish I also had the skills to pen stories as such. Thanks to contributing members of the community and the upkeepers.
Godzilla- Thanks ! I wish I had some editor like you.
SunnyDev- My stories are simply incomplete without your comments.You are one awesome critic.Thank you!
Thapap-Yeah, I wish the same. But, it is just a story.
Indigo/Dinesh/Bodmas- I am just a three-story old writer, nowhere close to "them". Anyways, Thanks for your encouraging words.
Pronepali- Thanks for stopping by.
John- Thanks for your " STOLEN MOMENTS". Stop "WONDERING" now .
Amber to be frank, I didn't like how you ended the story. This is only a personal opinion, your writing is good and the matter you brought is also good the first part was awesome, but the second part it seems you wrote in haste or something, I hope u will take it positively. And pls pls do keep writing. We need writers like yourself.
Bodmas,
I agree that Amber's second part was not as gripping as the first, but then, it is the beauty of her cohesive work that brings about one of the best stories ever told in sajha. And kudos to an avid readers like you too, who encourage Amber to write more.
Amber,
Truly said.....you and sum off are too far for a proximity....I lost myself somewhere in between...need to follow your footsteps. Walk with footprints. STILL WONDERING.
Godzilla,
Excusing a little edition that has nothing to do with great story like Amber's would simply be an act of manganimity.For a person your size, I believe you have a bigger heart than we do.
Amber,
Just wanted to poke my nose a little, as you know, I had to adjust it to lessen the sound of sighs I make, don't you?
John_Galt,
It's heartening to see a writer of your caliber appreciating work of other writers. Camaraderie I see here is quite exemplary. And no, I was just playing a bit with Amber. If I did not like her work, I wouldn't have stopped by in the first place. Trust me, I would take minor errors in an engaging writing and a powerful plot over any other writings. If I dare say it's not an overstatement, barring Sitara, she is the best female writer I have seen, at least in Sajha.
Amber: Finally I could read a complete story from you. I still have not got a chance to read few "to be continued..." ones. No doubt, Your writing is cohesive, detailed and mesmerizing. Its too good for just the third attempt. But I have a criticism. I found the ending hollow. The details in the beginning gives an impression that the plot is developing well. All of a sudden you rushed to end the story.Seems like the story was written in two sittings. Part II in a rush though. How bout coming with a complete story and posting all at once. Anyways you are definitely working to be a mature story writer. Keep it up.
"Eight years old Shristi shouted at Mahendra- the driver. After three years, Samrat left for London. Six years after that Shristi took another flight to London."
That makes Shristi 8+3+6=17 years old. But how did Shristi became 18 years old?
" Pratima had always been the moral influence for eighteen years old Shristi who was blossoming into a woman".
Colts- Pardon me for not taking into account the months and rounding off the number. Anyways, thanks for pointing it out. Need to brush up my mathematical skills. :(
Godzilla- I do understand. You are one adorable beast.Do you know that?
John/Bodmas/Colts- Thanks ! Yeah, I did write the whole story in two sittings.I will definitely not do that next time.
Colts,
CIA would have hired you if they had read your comment man! ha ha! But did you consider "months" as amber said? I mean she could be 8 years and 11 months in the beginning and it could be 6 and 2 months later in the later stage. :-). But you're right on what you said, writers are better off if they keep things simpler!
Amber,
Me and adorable? Probably yes. They would kill anyone to keep me in zoo :-(.
Maven,
There are few studies, I wish that were never been done. People are trying a lot to show the differences in spatial , mathematical and many other mental processes between men and women. They have no clinical method to this date to prove this. They will resort on statistical analysis. If there sample supports their hypothesis, we will have another so called "proven" cause for discrimination.
Hey amber!
This place is so boring without stories like yours. If you have another in the pipeline, could you please grace us and this place with it? I am looking forward to it and I am sure most of us are too. :-). Till then, here's to your good spirit and wonderful talent that I always envy :-).
