Needs editing. Will post after re-editing. Thanks.
Last edited: 20-Oct-07 01:43 PM
Good story Sum_off:
We were waiting for your 8th, 9th.................................. 34th 35th day in Nepal too. Please do write those episodes too.
I found conflicting dates in your writing. Read these two paragraphs from your writing, hopefully you will see it.
In October 1996, that young woman, a well-recognized social worker by then, had secretly applied for a Diversity Lottery Green Card program that allowed legal migration to the United States as a permanent resident. On that rainy day, she had received the response.
One of her father’s friends, Dr. Shrimani Shrestha who was a professor at University of Maryland sponsored Divyeswori. She entered the United States for the second time in October 1995 as a permanent resident.
AmriT
Elixir,
Thanks a lot. That is supposed to be October 1996 (not 1995). You must be an engineer.
Engineer?? How come?? aru le tyatti ni patta lagauna sakdaina bhanne?? Nepalis, they think only doctors and engineers are smart.
I am not any of those.
AmriT
sum_off,
wow Elixir lai matrai notice gardine .. hamilai chhai pattai chhaina )O:
sum_off u rock man......awesome piece of writing.......wish had six thumbs anyways "FOUR THUMBS UP" LOL
PEACE
thapap: how can I ignore you? You were the last thing I had on mind before I went to bed last night.
Elixir: I was not accusing you of being smart. I just think, being an enginner myself, we tend to notice errors in numbers more naturally. That does not mean I am smart. I know I am not.
Rest: I hope the story only gets better. I have not found time to edit the rest. I will post the second part soon.
Last edited: 22-Oct-07 09:40 PM
First, welcome back, sum-off. Your re-entry to Sajha was eagerly anticipated by many including yours truly.
Second, while detail orientation is an excellent trait in any profession, I would certainly look over tiny errors in favor of larger impact of the whole story, wouldn't you?
Third, and yes, what happened to 8th, 9th,....nth day journals? Your credit card story remains my favorite.
Your writing is impressive. Material is superb.
Again,your style of writing and placing 'engineer' at the centerpiece kind of make me feel I have read you before.
Very nice piece.
I went to read all your writings on 'days in Nepal'. Enjoyed alot and made my day; waiting for more.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Very interesting.
But you may want to clear up some glitch in your story:
One rainy day in May 1997, a completely soaked young woman parked her scooter outside the post office in Sundhaara, Kathmandu. She ran to the post-box hallway and opened her mailbox. She took out an envelope, tore it quickly and started reading it. Then she started jumping up and down. Her actions looked involuntary.
“Are you trying to dry yourself?†Joked a mailman watching her inquiringly.
The woman laughed. Then she screamed madly, “I WON A LOTTERY!â€
AND
She entered the United States for the second time in October 1995 as a permanent resident.
sum off: very good! Is this fiction? Sounds so real.
Awesome story...is it based on real story or fiction?????
jantar jasto lagyo yo katha malai ta---- biswasko kura ho--.
sum_off,
lol.. i was the last thing re bho aaba )O: me turned into .. some stone now.. )O:
yeah, truly awesome narration. waiting for more sum off. and bro, how's the wedding? honeymoon kahan manako? im sure ure having an awesome married life. Has your wife read your posts yet about her and the rest of her family?..lolololol.
And I'm desperately waiting for the rest of the story.
TT
sum off,
an amazing narration, the first part reminded me of 'Pride and prejudice' and 'A suitable boy', absolutely amazing. Wish Vikram Seth took some lessons about brevity from you.
Waiting for more....
Sum off,
What an unique narrator you are! Appealing and very vivid presentation which i am completely engrossed in.
Please do keep writing, as Sajha needs more of wonderfully distinctive voice like yours that captures heart and mind of a reader like me.
"The first party would confine every minute discontent to her mother, and the second party usually diluted it with a neat shot of 80% proof Russian Vodka. The rest of the world only saw what they displayed in public, a gracefully compromised affection."- very well written indeed!
Nicely naratted! Been an ardent fan of yours. Please do continue writing.
Thanks for a nice read. :)
narrated I meant. Typos been epidemic for me these days!
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