Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility and Relationships

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I came across the theory of Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility was when I was in grade 11. Though I say that economics never excited me, since I had a very good teacher, I enjoyed the topics at that time. I was very fascinated by this one theory; Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility. This theory states that when you are consuming a product, lets say a ham sandwich, the first time you have it, you will have utmost level of satisfaction, keeping others things like like pop soda constant. But with every other consumption of the sandwich, you start enjoying it more and more and there will be a point where the satisfaction is maximum. But after that point, you like it or not, there is a downfall, a decline in the utility and satisfaction.

I haven't looked back and read this chapters in years. But somehow the theory is stuck in my head. Once in a while I bring it out in my conversations and my friends tease me with my nerdity.

I have been stuck at home for few days now. Willingly or unwillingly, the crisis of the nation is hitting everyone in all possible ways. Yes, I dont have fuel and I go out in a very limited manner. I do a lot of self analysis, pondering, wondering, star gazing, moon walking....LOL....but in all this I happen to do some comparison of relationships.

This is my theory of Diminishing Marginal Utility of a relationship.

I am sure we all have felt the butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling when we start to crusade into a friendship we all wanted. That first SMS you get, the first night long phone/skype/viber/ blah blah conversation, the first date or outing...everything excites you. You try to be extra nice to the other person and you want to impress. You say things to make her happy. Everything looks perfect. Every time you meet, its fun, its happiness and you want to do it more and more. It goes on for sometime and there will be a time ( maybe in few weeks, months or if lucky years) the utility will start dropping down. You don't feel the same excitement. The person is not special anymore. They are an ordinary part of your daily life.

I normally try to keep that excitement going in the friendship but when the other person is not in the same boat, it actually is very difficult to pull up that relationship. Changes are inevitable, but those changes are suppose to better the relation not discolour it. For me some things never go out of fashion. A sweet message, a call just to say I love you, an extra effort to keep it fresh and not letting that first spark die but to flame everything up with that. There is no effortless friendship or relationship. You have to give in to get back. If you stop giving her....trust me there will be a point when people become empty and there have nothing more to give....They move on.

(I am a woman and I strongly believe in equality. But I had to address in someway, I am referring it as him.This works with both genders and I request the reader should not take it as an offense)

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Ambrosia

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Oh ya supply and demand had always been a favorite to compare with relationship .
Every subject is difficult if you go to the depth of it....surface are always calm

bittertruth

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The term 'Law of diminishing marginal utility' is actually describing our human nature which is solely focused towards consumable commodity. First time is always intriguing, second time is not and then the time comes where fascination ends, saturation spikes and the same consumable commodity is not desirable at all as it was at first. I've not forgotten this teaching that I learned myself back in my +2 commerce classes. Very practical.

Relationship has it's own course though — it is in fact run by the law of attraction 'like attracts like" believe it or not. A person with negative energy/thought attract same and a person with positive energy/thought attracts positive experiences in life. Sometimes a relationship ends up being a fusion of two opposite thoughts. It fails miserably. It's one of the partners action that elongates the duration of their companionship and that factor when brought to the equation brings a happily married life. I would like to call that factor/action — 'Compromise'. There is no saturation point in happily married life as you've thought of. In fact, the law of diminishing marginal utility is a bad analogy to describe relationship. I'm a witness of many relationships, decades later their bond and love growing more than ever. I agree there are certain phases in relationships where desperation,boredom comes out of expectation not being fulfilled but compromise and understanding are what gives the continuation to it.

bairaghi

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No wonder so many people responding on this thread have relationship issues. Its what happens when one tries to solve an issue as complex as relationship, applying high school level course. Or as above response implies, treating it like a 3-4 variables problem. Its way more complex than that.
My 50 cents ??? First try to figure out if the problem is what it seems to be. Relationship problems are one of the MOST misdiagnosed problems of all. Lets say you are mad ur hubby didn't call you. Are you angry because he didn't call you or do you suspect something ? he doesn't like the way you talk anymore. Has he changed ? Or he is mad at you for something else. These are just examples. Many times, relationship issues are hiding bigger problems So first order of business is to decide if its salvageable or not (law of thresh hold ? ). If not, its better for both parties to part ways. Lets Shorten the suffering. If yes, then open your mind and horizon. Same exact thing can make you happy or sad. It only depends on your perception. Things have changed, and will change. You have to change yourself with time. It all depends on how you or he looks at it. Then again, who you are as a person is influenced by millions of things in your life.

mily

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Last edited: 18-Oct-15 07:00 PM

Ambrosia

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bittertruth,
Can you plz go thru my write up once again PLZ. See a relationship doesnt grow without efforts... like you I think most of us have seen relationships grow or die. It all depends on both of their inputs. Trust me there will be a time in ur relationship where u feel it is not going anywhere...and it is upto you to grow from it or leave it there.
I agree with bairaghi here. That if it is not working its better to get out of it rather than just drag it. The only thing that is constant is change....and if you change for better, well and good...if it is worse...still it is achange and you gotta accept it.

mily

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I agree with bairaghi and Ambrosia that sometimes, it just doesn't work and you have to end the relationship. But the million dollar question is how do you know it is time to end the relationship? How do you know that the relationship is not going well because of the lack of compromise and understanding? Yes, you change, your partner changes, circumstances change. Accordingly, the level of compromise and understanding should change too. Shouldn't it? Many people seem hasty to end their dying relationships without making any effort to revive it.

Last edited: 13-Oct-15 06:07 AM

Ambrosia

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I feel when you dont see anything you can do anymore...after all your efforts and compromises and commitments...and you are unhappy...well time to move on....At the end of your day...happiness matters...its better to be single than to be in a wrong relationship.!

bairaghi

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@mlnNpl how do u know if its time to end ? Tomorrow morning, wake up before him. So while he is still sleeping, just watch at him. Do you want to to punch him on the face ? ( for guys, do you want to choke her ? ). Jokes aside (it might work for some), When the other person is unconscious but so near to you, its easier to process your feelings clearly. He could be so near and yet so far or near and dear at the same time. Do you love this guy or you feel disgusted looking at him ?

Ambrosia

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Bairaghi,
I am lost here now....:s...what are we trying to discuss here?? Why wud anyone wants to chock anyone :s.....rather walk away from it right!

iLED009

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Great attempt in trying to correlate human relationship, precisely romantic relation between male and female, with the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility!
While the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility explicitly states that, with every increment in relative consumption of product A over product B, there is some delta decrement in the marginal utility of product A. Further, this decrement in marginal utility continues with additional consumption of product A. Clearly, neither human (male/female) nor the associated behaviors (of/in relationship) can be treated as products/utilities/consumables. Hence, loss of interest, change in behaviors, and fading emotions towards a partner with time cannot be remotely explained by the above law!
Perhaps, invoking social psychology and behavioral science will give us some insights here. So far, there has been serious study and attempts in understanding this ever evolving and complex human romantic relationship. It has been found that, there is substantial increase in release of certain chemicals such as oxytocin, dopamine etc., in our body under some circumstances. These hormones control most of our response related to intimacy, social bonding etc. During the early phase in a romantic relationship, our body frequently produces increased level of these hormones. As a consequence we now have - an extra energy that puts us on cloud nine – and give us ultra mental focus. Sadly, glands fail to produce these hormones at increased rate for indefinitely; hence the state of euphoria or whatever it is lasts only for a while! The body goes back to normal mode, and when it does there is obvious decrease in the amount of romantic indulgence. But, this is normal and at least I think it as a normal human response! So, all the blames on hormones!
There’s an evolutionary implication to this as well – increased level of these hormones even for a certain duration of time allowed early humans to have that special feeling and attachment towards their partners. Intimacy, social bonding and monogamy which are very specific human traits, compared to other mammals; are direct consequences of these hormones. It helped shape the human evolution, our evolution. So, after all it’s not the hormones to blame!

Ambrosia

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iLED009,
Thank you for such deep insight, which I was unable to do. I think your detailing in the matter will help understand the correlation between the law and the relationship.
In past couple of months I have noticed this in a lot of people,how they have reacted and hearing their story...all I could remember is LMU.
I am glad you enjoyed reading it!

unemployedguy

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Single bhayera ragg cha yar, single nahou. Better find next job before leaving current job. Mistake garna le unemployed bhaiyo.
LOL

Ambrosia

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:s ok what does employment has to do with my thread ???

bairaghi

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@iLED009 you are right. All our emotions are nothing more than some chemical reactions going on in our brain. And all human emotions are coping mechanism for survival encoded in our genes we acquired through millions of years of evolution. And modern medicine which treats/masks these emotions (anxiety, anger, depression etc) are also our way of expression of our survival instincts.
Now the million dollar question is Do you want to buy happiness ? The answer is YES, until it involves relationships. So lets say you went to a relationship therapist. And he gave you a prescription. If you give your partner one pill every morning, he/she will love you the way they did at the start of courtship (it should be possible.) Will you accept it ?
So in my opinion, the only answer is TO ACCEPT CHANGE than feel nostalgic. Open your eyes, mind, horizon and embrace life or just change the course.

Last edited: 16-Oct-15 12:23 PM

Last edited: 16-Oct-15 12:27 PM

BathroomCoffee

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Bairagi,"Do you want to buy happiness ? The answer is YES" lol !!! Can I get 50 cents worth of happiness please ? Actually make it a dolla, yeah. Nah I am feeling lucky tonight make it 10bucks worth, yeah more like it. lol

Maybe he's been buying everyone's Stupidity therefore comes and runs his Thakuri Shah diarrhea mouth here once in a while to stay relevant. ROFL

kaa hai babuwa ?

bairaghi

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Bujne lai srikhanda nabujne lai khurpa ko bied

BathroomCoffee

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Yeah Just like,"STOOOPID SAYS STOOOOPID DOES."

bairaghi

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Bro ullu le aru lai pani ullu dekcha bhaneko suneko thiye, veterinary hospital tira check garna janne ho ki ???

BathroomCoffee

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Ullu ley aru lai ke ta manchey dekcha ta ? ka hai babuwa tumhar dimaag khisak ga kaa ? The guy has lost his marbles.

Talk about a conundrum.

mily

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No one's going to win in an argument like this.
@bairaghi, glad to see that you edited out the indecent remark you made against the OP. Maybe next time, think before you type.

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