From: www.AyoGorkhali.com

July 23rd, 2026
Taxes, Tragedies, and Tumultuous Thrones

Good Morning, Nepal!

1. The Taxing Act of Benevolence
Government Withdraws 'Equality Fee' on Education and Healthcare

The government has graciously decided to stop taxing you for trying to stay alive and literate. After realizing that an "Equality Fee" on basic human needs only made everyone equally broke, the Cabinet suddenly found its conscience on a Wednesday afternoon. It is truly comforting to know our leaders will boldly fix the catastrophic financial holes they dug themselves just a week ago. Perhaps tomorrow they might even discover that air should remain free, giving us all a breath of fresh, un-tariffed hope.

2. A Fatal Plunge in the Pipeline
Contractor Brothers Suffocate inside a Water Tank in Tulsipur

Two brothers went to work to build a dream home, only to find their final resting place inside a concrete water tank. In a twist of dark irony, the very reservoir designed to hold life-giving water became a suffocating chamber of death before a single drop could enter. Nepal’s construction safety standards remain as non-existent as the oxygen inside that tank, leaving two families utterly shattered. Yet, as the community mourns this devastating loss, neighboring builders are holding their breaths, fiercely hoping this tragedy finally forces contractors to value human life over profit MARGlNs.

3. Crafted Promises from the Crown
PM Balen Shah Committed to the Development of the Handicraft Industry

Prime Minister Balen Shah met with handicraft merchants to assure them that traditional arts are safe under his watchful, poetic eye. It is profoundly reassuring to see the government championing local crafts, especially since making things by hand is the only employment option left in the country. We can all sleep soundly knowing a Public-Private Partnership Board is being formed, which guarantees at least a dozen bureaucrats will get brand-new desks to match their hand-carved nameplates. In a land of broken infrastructure, we must find hope in the fact that our traditional masks will at least look impeccably beautiful while the system crumbles.

4. The Grand Migration of Ministers
UML Ministers Resign En Masse from Bagmati Province Government

The ruling alliance in the center collapsed, which naturally meant Bagmati Province ministers had to drop everything and throw a collective tantrum. Because the Chief Minister was away attending a party picnic in Chitwan, the resigning UML ministers had to awkwardly hand their divorce papers to an empty office desk. It is fascinating how swiftly our leaders can abandon their governance duties the moment their political musical chairs stop playing. Still, there is a glimmer of hope that the temporary absence of active politicians might actually accidentally improve the province's daily productivity.

5. Seeking Justice for the Ashes
Judicial Committee Formed to Investigate Ganesh Nepali’s Self-Immolation

A man from Mugu felt so completely abandoned by the state that he set himself on fire just to be heard by the powerful. The government’s lightning-fast response to this horrific tragedy was to form a committee chaired by a retired judge, because nothing honors a fiery sacrifice quite like a mountain of slow-moving paperwork. We can only wonder how many more citizens must turn to ash before the system decides to proactively fix the issues driving them to despair. Yet, in the appointment of a retired judge, we desperately cling to the hope that a shred of cold, legal truth might finally bring peace to a grieving family.

6. The Cabinet’s Seven Wonders
Seven Key Decisions Unleashed by the Council of Ministers

The Cabinet held a meeting and emerged with seven magnificent decrees, proving they can accomplish a week's worth of paperwork in a single afternoon when properly caffeinated. From appointing judges to addressing loan sharks, the list reads like a frantic wishlist written by a government trying to pretend it has everything under control. It is almost impressive how a single press conference can make deep-rooted systemic failures sound like easily manageable bullet points. Let us harbor hope that at least one of these seven grand declarations transitions from the official press release into actual reality before the next government takes over.

7. High-Flying Executive Grounded
Shanker Group Chairman Shanker Lal Agrawal Arrested for Banking Offenses

Tycoon Shanker Lal Agrawal was snatched by the Central Investigation Bureau in Dilli Bazar, proving that even VIP business lounges can’t always save you from the law. He is currently facing banking offense charges, giving regular citizens the rare, darkly satisfying joy of seeing a billionaire deal with standard police handcuffs. It is a refreshing change of pace to see the law target an actual whale instead of the usual small fish swimming in Nepal's financial waters. This sudden burst of police efficiency offers a fragile hope that perhaps, just perhaps, the scales of justice are starting to balance out.

8. The Fault in Our Leaders
If the Party Splits, Gagan Thapa Must Take Total Blame, Warns Shekhar Koirala

Shekhar Koirala has pre-emptively pointed his finger at Gagan Thapa, warning that if the Nepali Congress shatters into pieces, it is entirely the General Secretary's fault. It is truly heartwarming to see senior leaders display such masterful foresight in shifting blame before any actual disaster has even taken place. In the grand tradition of Nepali politics, building internal bridges is far less popular than constructing the perfect public alibi for when the bridge collapses. Yet, watching them squabble reminds us that democracy is still loudly alive, leaving room for hope that someone might eventually remember to govern the country.

9. The Ultimate Existential Threat
If Congress Divides, the Nation Fails, Warns Purna Bahadur Khadka

Purna Bahadur Khadka dramatically proclaimed that if the Nepali Congress splits, the entire nation of Nepal will simply cease to exist. It takes a monumental amount of political ego to suggest that the geopolitical survival of an ancient Himalayan nation hinges entirely on the fragile egos of a few elderly politicians. One would think a country that survived massive earthquakes and centuries of turmoil could survive a messy party split, but apparently, the party flag is holding up the sky. Amidst this apocalyptic theater, we can find hope in the resilient spirit of ordinary Nepalis, who will undoubtedly keep the country thriving long after these politicians have finished their dramatic speeches.
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Sita Rana
Chief Sunrise Satirist

Sita distills the daily chaos into nine bite-sized jokes so you can digest the news before your tea gets cold or the Kathmandu smog makes it impossible to see the paper.