From drab to fab

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Short story: From drab to fab Ashma drew the tiny mirror closer and gauged every feature on her face one more time. What she saw on the reflection pleased her. In her solitude, she didn’t find it hypocritical to draw over the admiration for her own beauty the curtain of modesty which she used to express when others pointed it out. Tanned skin that glowed with a hue of gold like the most expensive gold jeweleries, big  brown eyes adorned with long lashes that almost touched the ceiling and a beautiful smile that would light up a room even in the gloomiest of days- Ashma had a face that would give any model a run for their money. Ever since she came to America, not a single day had passed that she didn’t hear others commenting on how exotic or stunning she was. Today was no exception but it was not like every other day either. Marc, her chemistry lab partner, had complimented her on how beautiful she looked today. She was convinced that all the stars must have aligned in the right directions on her “cheena” to have persuaded the guy, whom she had the biggest crush on ever since her freshman year of college, to notice her. And maybe that bright yellow strapless dress might have helped a bit. Whatever it was, the stars or the dress, she could not stop smiling at her reflection one more time before finally putting the mirror down over the stacks of books that always inhabited her desk. The past three years in America had been the most formative years of her life. Just like everyone else, she had juggled work and school. She had proudly maintained a 4.0 through all of it which was no news to her parents back home. She had excelled in her studies back in Nepal and always found a way on top of her class each year. She had earned a lot of admirers along the way, mostly in the form of her teachers and parents but there were also enough who left no stone unturned to bring her morale down. While thinking about those days, the hissing sound of the boiling concoction on the pot served as an alarm informing her that tea was ready. She poured herself a mighty cup of her favorite Darjeeling tea that she claimed was the only love of her life. Sitting by the window in her room, she started reflecting on how far she had come. Her tan skin, which was considered to be so exotic by everyone in this foreign land had once been the means of constant viciousness for innumerable people. “Oye, kali, chyaa kastoo kali raiche herna yo. Yesti ni first girl re”, Chitiz had yelled at the top of his lungs when she was quietly walking to her classroom once. A bunch of others had joined him by sharing laughs. At that moment, she had felt as if someone had sprayed one of those hot pepper sprays that women keep handy for self defense here. With eyes full of tears, she had rushed to a restroom and cried her heart out. Not being “gori” enough had traumatized her all those years and even those shining  testaments of achievements and accolades from loving teachers did not suffice to resurrect  her long lost self confidence. There were many others like Chitiz whose words had left a permanent indentation in her heart. She sipped in some of that aromatic tea and just like always, the only love of her life oozed out an indescribable sense of comfort with its warmth as it made its way down her throat. The sensation of warm tummy always made her smile. Ashma was no more that frail soul who could not face an asshole like Chitiz. She is no more torn between the aestheticism of her growing years, when she had never felt beautiful enough to dress well or be presentable in any way, and the lack of self confidence that being considered unattractive brought to her. Today, she is everything that any guy would dream of in a perfect woman- smart, confident, loyal and extremely pleasing to the eyes. With her last sip, she felt a tremendous sense of achievement on her transformation. Her transformation was not a mere manifestation of praises of her beauty that people now seemed to shower her with. It was simply a realization of everything she had always possessed but had lurked in the shadow of oblivion for her. Looking down at her empty cup, she said to herself “Ahh, how about some more of my lover? I think yes. It has been a good day”. Last edited: 28-Oct-10 07:58 PM Last edited: 28-Oct-10 08:19 PM Last edited: 29-Oct-10 01:13 PM

aviatorchick · Oct 28, 2010 7:40 PM · 27,078 views

16 Replies

Hey folks! A long time lurker of this site :)I loved reading all the wonderful stories posted by some of the most amazing writers on sajha, which basically persuaded me to finally register and be a part of all the Nepali-ness! I was never a writer but I absolutely love reading.  This is my first ever post here. Just a jab at jotting something down..comments are very much appreciated! Tell me if you don't like it, i won't bite you :) As I said, not a writer and hence any comment would be enlightening towards showing me the right direction. Thanks! Aviatorchick

aviatorchick · Oct 28, 2010 8:31 PM

Nice story. Its always great to see things from a different perspective (i.e for guys to see what a girl is thinking) and you've done a great job, even if its just your first.  I feel this story serves as some sort of reward to yourself for patiently enduring what you went through back in Nepal. A sort-of "no one tells me what I can or cannot do" thing.  Thumbs up.  Keep the stories flowing. 

dekchidriver · Oct 28, 2010 8:47 PM

Dekchidriver, thank you so much!!! yayy for the first comment :) Even though Ashma is a figment of my imagination, I can't claim that there is nothing of me in this story. For instance, tea is truly the ultimate love of my life just like it is for Ashma lol ps nice name btw!  

aviatorchick · Oct 28, 2010 9:27 PM

Aviatorchick, I enjoyed reading your story. Great for a first story. I hear the story of a girl coming to terms between cross-cultural values and finding herself amidst changes in the West. A woman finding her own stand in life. I think many girls can relate to it. I was talking to a lady recently who relayed the 'kali/gori' story to me about her own life (she's dark skinned). Keep it coming Aviatorchick. By the way, are you a pilot?

Homeyji · Oct 29, 2010 7:42 AM

Nice.

meera · Oct 29, 2010 10:07 AM

I say "Ahh" to both the story and the idea of a pot of good Darjeeling tea on a crummy day like this :)

Vivant · Oct 29, 2010 11:12 AM

Homeyji, thank you for your kind words. This story goes out to all those Nepali girls who have been compelled to feel bad about themselves just because they didn't fit the conventional definition of "fair and lovely" to be considered beautiful. I have made so many good friends here and most of the Nepali girls I know are absolutely beautiful. However, the ones with tan skin still can't comprehend why others find them attractive as it is contrary to what they had been predisposed to back in Nepal all these years. It is quite a challenge to come to terms with finding a stand and feeling good about oneself after enduring quite a bit of spitefulness for most of one's life. And no, I am not a pilot :) The aviator in my name comes from aviators sunglasses that accompanies me on sunny days :) Meera, thank you! :) Vivant, what a coincidence. It's quite a sad looking day around here too. Perfect for a cup of tea and maybe some hot momos later tonight :) Thank you! Last edited: 29-Oct-10 11:52 AM Last edited: 29-Oct-10 11:53 AM

aviatorchick · Oct 29, 2010 11:50 AM

Aviator Chick, what a brilliant story you've got. Thanks for sharing a story that portrays mental trepidation a girl has to suffer because of how she looks. The process of judging person by the color of skin is is ubiquitous and sees no gender. I hope readers will take home a lesson and start appreciating people for who they are, not how they look. Excellent post. Last edited: 29-Oct-10 01:51 PM

riestha · Oct 29, 2010 1:30 PM

Aviatorchick-- Well done for your first attempt! It was way too short for me :) Just as I was getting comfy it ended.. Hope to see more of your writings in the future. It is very unfortunate that the media feeds into the whole idea of "light complexion" is beautiful..luckily it isn't that bad in Nepal as it is in India. Like Homeyji said..I'm sure a lot of us can relate to your Ashma.

avani · Oct 29, 2010 2:12 PM

Riestha, I am delighted that you liked my story. What a beautiful thought you've expressed yourself-the thought that its important for us to focus on what a person is made up of inside rather than pulling him down for his apperance. Only if we had more people like you in Nepal, a lot of these girls would not have been victims of verbal abuse and mental anguish. Avani, thanks to you for finding the story too short to satisfy your apetite :) that's the biggest compliment I could have hoped for. Being my first attempt, I didn't know if I should be writing more or less than this and decided to end it early. Also, your point about this being a bigger issue in India than it is in Nepal is true. But it is present in Nepal nonetheless. The fact that you have to be gori to be considered beautiful by the society is basically like calling not even dark, but tanned skin (which I personally think is the most beautiful color and for which people would pay thousands of dollars here lol) not worthy enough. All of us women are beautiful and unique. Nepalese have a pre set notion about the standards of beauty and if you don't fit in, hey, its just your hard luck, you should have inherited the "fair skin gene" from someone in your lineage, so F*** you! Unlike the West where being unique can be your claim to fame. Thank you thank you! I honestly didn't even think I would have so many views already. All these thought provoking comments are cherries on top for sure. What a delightful end to a busy Friday..now its time for some momos! Happy weekend guys :) Last edited: 29-Oct-10 04:53 PM

Aviatorchick · Oct 29, 2010 4:50 PM

Last edited: 29-Oct-10 07:20 PM

black_panther · Oct 29, 2010 7:13 PM

Aviator chick, your story was an enjoyable read and I found the protagonist to be a very likable character. Also, this felt like the rare insight into the mind of a confident and ambitious Nepali woman :)

nepali_geek · Dec 15, 2010 5:14 AM

 Superb yet again. 

Bidroh · Mar 23, 2011 9:55 PM

pimp kalu · Mar 23, 2011 10:17 PM

Aww thanks for the bump to this oldie guys! Blackpanther and pimp, thank you for the adorable arts on my page! Loved them!!!

Aviatorchick · Mar 25, 2011 1:10 PM

 kudos ! Last edited: 27-Mar-11 09:54 AM

wtf · Mar 25, 2011 1:28 PM

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