Dear friends,  For those who think this is a crap stay away from it but for those who have been through the same situation - do not hesitate to write your valuable words.  So my best friend calls me one day and said, "Man I miss you so much.  Will you come to see me?".  Ofcourse why not you are my best friend in this god damm it world.  So I am travelling in the train (listening - Last Kiss by Pearl Jam), happy to see her after a long time (a month).  As  soon I get out of the station, I see her running towards to me and she hold me so tight.  I'm like damm there is something wrong with her.  I said whats up! she smile and again I said - whats up!  (BTW, I had bought a flower for her which I left in the train station - my bad)  She is energetic and walking with the same pace that I usually walk, which god damm it she always complains.  She ask me, you made it huh!  She thinks that I should gain more weight and most probably look like Salman Khan.  That pissed me off coz lute jeu bhayee pani ris ta utcha ni !!!  Whereas, she looks gorgeous.  I could tell that her hair was neatly done, had a nice new T-Shirt, gigling and most importantly she was happy to see me.  What in the world I care more than her happiness.  (hey mind you - she has gone through a lot of pain)  After we finish our chit chat and walking down the hill, she invited me to her house.  No one was there.  She hold my hand and spoke about the difficulties that she is facing or had faced in the past.  I never saw her this emotional, it was like listening a baby who was complaining about everything.  I hold her tight and said hey you are my best friend, don't worry everything will be okay.  She tells me that she liked me and she spoke to her parents about me.  You guys know a little bit about caste system right.  Yeah mine is international caste system.  What the heck?  I listen to her everything she has to say about us.  So here is the deal.  I made a move - I went back to my house and I called her up, she didn't pick the phone.  I text her - "I was not ready for this relationship before. We both were busy with our life.  Sorry I was busy with my family, job and college. Now I'm ready for it. Don't take me wrong. You got along with my family very well. I like your attitude, u r patient, hard working".  Next day she text me and said that I should not text her back and not to call her anymore.  Damm what did I do?  I text her back - you know what delete my information and I'll delete yours (lu kha ta). After couple of days later, she calls me because I am so wierd that I went to her blog and praised her writings and  totally forgot that i had log in that website and she came to know that it was me.  Awkward ! She is okay now but I am totally confuse.  We are acting like friend. I do care about her a lot. I really don't want to leave her alone.  So I choose my friendship than my own needs of having a girlfriend. Where did I made a mistake?  Now she only text me, no more phone call.  What I have done now?  Gosh - If i knew someone that is gonna take care of her then I could just come back home - Nepal!  Mero mutu ko sano byatha! Dunga daju