Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 :) >  >  > Dear Tech Support Team: > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. >  >  > I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that > took up a lot of space and valuable resources. >  > In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now > monitors all other system activities. >  > Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies > 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. >  > I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting > to run my favorite applications. >  > I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0, but the 'uninstall' > doesn't work on Wife 1.0. >  > Please help! >  >  > Thanks, > 'A Troubled User' >  >  >  >  > REPLY: >  > Dear Troubled User: >  > This is a very common problem that people complain about. >  >  > Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is > just a Utilities and Entertainment program. >  >  > Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run > EVERYTHING!!! >  > It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0. >  >  > It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system > once installed. >  > You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed > not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under > Warnings-Alimony-Child > Support) . >  > I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment. >  >  > I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to > alleviate software augmentation. >  > The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because > ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. >  > Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. > Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep > 3.0, Cook 1.5 and Do Laundry 4.2 . However, be very careful how you > use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the > program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performanceof Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Shoes 2.1and Jewellery 5.0 >  >  >  > STATUTORY WARNING : > DO NOT, under any circumstances, > install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported > by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. >  >  > Best of luck, > IT Dept. Regards,