i am not the best guy on earth for sure and she isn't best either. She is pretty, full of proud, self centered, all three i dont like. i knew it still i took the first step (second step infact), i thought i wud negate her bad stuffs by being good. Other reason i must admit was that it was high time i chose someone for myself , again i was well established by then, i had to choose one. i had to choose one in which everyone was happy (my parents i mean... a typical nepali story). Start was fine.... reality came later. always kich kich for one reason or other, i never said anything in return. with all modestly, i do have a big heart, i dont get hurt easily and can accomodate a lot of things. She would say a lot , i wud just ignore it. She said words to make me cry, i cried but never said anything in return. it wasnt a long story to tell... may be a year ... another few months after breaking up.......... i thought i wud melt her by my simple nature... my ear was there for her everytime c had sth to say  .. no matter how busy i was... tried to be a part of her happiness and bad times.... made her a part of my happiness too which luckily came by two folds with her coming into my life...of course it was a coincident... still i gave credits to her....she wasnt my first love... agulto le haneko kukkur bijuli dhekhi tarsincha bhane jastai took me a long time to get involved again.......................... i made her feel very especial which i knew i had the capability to anyone though never used ... cause i had to get established...... sky was the limit. For her only she had emotions. she had the right to choose, i said ok , u do. a day came when c did sth that may not hav been such a big thing by general standard but just in my huge heart cudnt fit in... dont know what anyone else wud hav done ,  i cudnt forgive her. i said........... "thanks for coming into my life, if you arent comfortable you can go"... guess what? she did..... even if it was just for a day or so... she left me for few days (for some other guy) and then she realized that i m the one (how can she), one reason to come back was the new guy left her in 2 days... by then enough was just enough for me......but how cud i stop my emotions ...........i had to choose between it and my ego...i had to tell myself ...she has used me like anything and if i go back .. she will do it again... teach her a lesson..........so that at least she wont do the same again with anyone else..............ya teach her and make her better ............isnt that great... but.....how about myself............. and my heartless soul...................i kept on denying.............there is no love.....................but today when i know that she recently got married............. why do i feel pain.............i did everything i wanted to..............i kept a high limit........... a generous heart (ya wallet too).....an understanding nature............ encouraging... she broke the limit and i reacted appropriately.... i know my life wud hav been hell with her.... good happened... i know ..........she did tell me that c is getting married, i cud hav stopped her...............she gave me hints that i can stop her..............come on where is my lesson thing............... i did right.........., didnt it ?............but again why do i feel pain.......... the problem is ... i cant share with anyone... i m the good guy u know one who never gets involved in these stuff.................... ya i never get hurt easily ..................when i have .............god knows!