ENJOY chuck norris facts and jokes LOL

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Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane". Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then trank three kegs and shat on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

MadDoGG · Apr 1, 2009 6:09 PM · 27,526 views

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01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. 08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. 09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody. 10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

MadDoGG · Apr 1, 2009 6:13 PM

I dont need to know the facts or any jokes about this disgruntled old chump. For me he is the ever complaining rotten bag of a group of people who cant stand anybody but whites. Back in the day i had some high regards for the man but those just vanished with time. This guy has utter disgust for people outside of his race. In return i have the same for him.

atlian · Apr 1, 2009 7:09 PM

Chuck Who ?

MuiChuiFung · Apr 1, 2009 7:27 PM

My all time fav abt Chuck Norris : He can gargle a Peanut Butter!!  LMAO  

O@$!$.... · Apr 1, 2009 8:11 PM

Lol the above fact is my fav as well. Plus, Chuck can slam revolving doors. Chuck has counted to infinity...twice! what a guy! But in all seriousness/respect, i think that Dharmendra > Chuck Norris :D

K6 · Apr 1, 2009 8:39 PM

Chuck Norris only masturbates to a picture of Chuck Norris. Last edited: 01-Apr-09 11:51 PM

bhikhaari · Apr 1, 2009 11:51 PM

looooooooooool bhikhari!!! when chuck norris shaves, he kicks himself in the face.. only chuck norris can cut chuck norris.

dekchidriver · Apr 2, 2009 12:38 AM

maybe it's time that we should create our own version of nepali chuck norris.. any ideas on who should be the right person?

commando · Apr 2, 2009 1:17 AM

 My fav's: There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

bhakunde bhut · Apr 2, 2009 1:39 AM

sly_evil · Apr 2, 2009 2:42 AM

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you. http://www.nochucknorris.com

freek · Apr 2, 2009 5:29 AM

Chuck Norris can divide by "0" !!!!

wtf · Apr 2, 2009 10:54 AM

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