“I am a modern man” by George Carin. मैले आजसम्म सुनेका उत्कृष्ट र गहनतम व्यंगहरु मध्येको एक । यो सुन्दासुन्दै वा सुनिसकेपछि एकबाजी हाम्रो आधुनिकताको खोक्रो विशालता, फटाहा अतिरञ्जना र मुक्तिविहिन चक्रव्युहको दैत्याकार चित्रले निसास्सिने गरी थिचिएको महसुस नगरीरहन सक्नुहुनेछैन ।  एकदम दर्शनीय, श्रवणीय, पठनीय र चिन्तनीय प्रस्तुती !   Enjoy ! Nepe     “I am a modern man” by George Carin (recipient of the Mark Twain prize 2008) (Featured in the Eleventh Annual Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize on Feb 4, 2009) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...     TRANSCRIPT:   I'm a modern man, A man for the millennium, Digital and smoke free.   A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.   I've been uplinked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading.   I'm a high tech lowlife. A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker, And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.   I'm new wave but I'm old school, And my inner child is outward bound.   I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer, Voice activated and biodegradable.   I interface from a database, And my database is in cyberspace, So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, And from time-to-time, I'm radioactive.   Behind the eight ball, Ahead of the curve, Riding the wave, Dodging a bullet, Pushing the envelope.   I'm on point, On task, On message, And off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge.   I'm in the moment, On the edge, Over the top, But under the radar.   A high concept, Low profile, Medium range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder.   I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.   I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic. A working ragaholic. Out of rehab, And in denial.   I got a personal trainer, A personal shopper, A personal assistant, And a personal agenda.   You can't shut me up, You can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless, And I'm wireless. I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.   I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever. Laid back but fashion forward.   Up front, Down home, Low rent, High maintenance.   Super size, Long lasting, High definition, Fast acting, Oven ready, And built to last.   I'm a hands on, Foot loose, Knee jerk, Head case.   Prematurely post traumatic, And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.   But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.   My output is down, But my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.   I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.   I'm gender specific, Capital intensive, User friendly, And lactose intolerant.   I like rough sex. I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the f word in my email, And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.   I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane.   I'm toll free, Bite sized, Ready to wear, And I come in all sizes.   A fully equipped, Factory authorized, Hospital tested, Clinically proven, Scientifically formulated medical miracle.   I've been pre-washed, Pre-cooked, Pre-heated, Pre-screened, Pre-approved, Pre-packaged, Post-dated, Freeze-dried, Double-wrapped, Vacuum-packed, And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.   I'm a rude dude, But I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff.   I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride.   Drivin' and movin', Sailin' and spinnin', Jivin' and groovin', Wailin' and winnin'.   I don't snooze, So I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal, And the rubber on the road.   I party hearty, And lunch time is crunch time.   I'm hanging in, There ain't no doubt. And I'm hanging tough, Over and out. .. …         Last edited: 08-Feb-09 11:33 PM