Audult Jokes

Archived from the original Sajha.com — preserved as posted, replies can no longer be added here.

Archived Post

v Similarity between a dick & matchstick? Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightest friction...... both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs....!!! v Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff? New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches......she was brand new. v Great door signs: Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix. Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels. Plumber's office: We repair what ur husband fixed. Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout. Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts. Maternity room: Push, Push, Push. v Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you... It's only when u leave her a virgin. v Tension is when wife is pregnant! Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant! Horror: When both r pregnant! Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both! v What do politicians & porn stars have in common? They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera! v Define contraceptive pill? It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth.............. to avoid pregnancy. v The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when Mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?! v Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u? To see if u really mean it.....! v 70 ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping..............................the rest is '69'. v Why is sex similar to shaving? Well, because no matter how well u do it today............ tomorrow u have to do it again...............!!!! v Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks................... and then they want to kill the woman who does. v Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex . Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years. v The stock markets now are like an old man's dick? Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting screwed............! v This week is Breast Awareness Week........... Spread the slogan:............ We stare because we care! v The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Untill Death ! v Why are condoms transparent? So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is restricted...! v What is common between a girl's legs, n Amul butter? Both are delicious when spread. v What is a husband's idea of foreplay? Half an hour of begging. v A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window. Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice! Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once? Wife: Because I thought it was you............ until he started the second time. v What is the difference between a chicken and a baby? Chicken is the result of a sitting hen................ while the baby is the result of standing cock. v If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get? Tit-Bits. And if it bursts in a man's underwear? Banana split. v What's the diff between a bomb n a condom? In a bomb blast population decreases .................in a condom blasts population increases. v Name the 5 great kings that have brought happiness in peoples lives? DrinKING, LicKING, SucKING, F***KING, W*nKING !

Khairey · Jan 20, 2009 9:22 PM · 12,799 views

13 Replies

Read ... Adult for Audult on Threads topic... (Have to write it before any smart ass points out mistake) :D

Khairey · Jan 20, 2009 9:24 PM

hilarious jokes

ctal · Jan 20, 2009 10:08 PM

hahaha lol!!!!! Where'd u get this? its hilarious! lol and I thought the whole world has gone crazy and stopped non-veg jokes. Very well, now I will spread the word!

dekchidriver · Jan 20, 2009 10:50 PM

lol totally enjoyed

pacific salmon · Jan 21, 2009 5:15 AM

Totally new stuff...5 star

Poon-Hill · Jan 21, 2009 9:48 AM

keep it coming; enjoyed it !!

wtf · Jan 21, 2009 10:53 AM

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train.Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they  were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in  the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,..........   'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet  to get me a second blanket?   I'm awfully cold.....' 'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.' 'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed. 'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own f..... blanket.'

BathroomCoffee · Jan 21, 2009 11:30 AM

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'   She calls on little Ralphy. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.' The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.' Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?' The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.' To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.' > LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2) Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. 'Why?' asks the father? 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.  'But that's right!' says his dad. 'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'' What's the f...... difference?' asks the father. 'That's what I said!' LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?' RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.' Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.' LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.  All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!' The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.' Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!' LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2) One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.' 'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. 'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'  She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY. 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!'' LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.  After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne,  rot your teeth, and make you fat.' Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.' The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?' Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own f...... business.

BathroomCoffee · Jan 21, 2009 12:03 PM

à¤¥à¥‹à¤¤à¥‡ · Jan 21, 2009 3:04 PM

Question : what is the similarities between audio cassette and girl ? Answer : can use from both side.            

bhusiakukur · Jan 21, 2009 7:28 PM

similarities between Sky and Skrit. sky cover whole generation and Skrit cover hole of generation

bhusiakukur · Jan 21, 2009 7:32 PM

similarities between road and pussy both are slippry when wet

bhusiakukur · Jan 21, 2009 7:36 PM

Real good ones....got more????

MadDoGG · Jan 27, 2009 7:23 PM

This conversation is preserved exactly as it was on the original Sajha.com and can't accept new replies.

Start a New Discussion