I named myself divorceguy because of following reasons – 1.       Being fresh off the boat, I often make grammatical mistakes and hence that name, someone in sajha once mentioned it should’ve been ‘divorcedguy’ instead and I was like Sh!t! Hope my chances of getting laid didn’t already hit the sand. 2.       I believe when a guy (or a girl for that reason) is divorced, it automatically makes most Nepalese believe that he belongs to a more contemporary culture where getting married and ending it is cool, unlike most of us who carry on with our ugly consorts for the rest of our lives. 3.       I also believe when women date a divorced guy they already know  he is experienced in bedroom shenanigans  and that they are okay with getting laid soon. 4.       Being divorced also means I was once married (which means I wasn’t butt ugly or else I wouldn’t get married) and now that handsome hunk available for other women. Buth the truth is – 1.       When I approach a woman, she instantly thinks about divorce, not marrying and divorcing me, but she starts wondering that if all men are like me she is better off marrying a BOB (I learnt that acronym from a black woman who works with me in a gas station). 2.       I get laid every night, with my pillow watching vidoes in youporn.com on my virus infested laptop when my roommate is taking shit in the bathroom. I live in a two bedroom apartment with four roomies. 3.       I am five foot four inches, and that four inch is not my height. 4.       My only proximity with a woman’s tits was watching my neighbor Bhagwati auntie take bath in her kausi in nayabazar topless, since then it is all internet. 5.       I tell my friends stories about getting laid with white underage college girls who’d do me for a six pack of Corona. Fact is, I cannot even get that 350lbs black coworker to flash at me. 6.       I think I am cool and should get laid, but it creeps all girls for some reason and my friends too. 7.       I think about improving that 2.5 GPA and go to good grad school and getting a six figure job eventually, but the moment I am alone with the laptop I cannot help but watch youporn. 8.       My life is going on a downward spiral and even the dumbest person in sajha.com knows it and I do not. 9.       My biggest fear is dying a virgin. 10.   My roomie helped me write this. Something I never told anyone - I KISSED SOJOKETO AND I LIKED IT. Last edited: 12-Dec-14 11:29 AM