सिसाभित्रका मानिसहरु ...   सिसाभित्रका मानिसहरुसंगको संबादमा छु | सासको बाफले लेख्छन ... म बुझ्ने प्रयास गर्छु  प्रश्न सोध्छु  उत्तर कुर्छु |   मलिन छ ...अनुहार  हस्दैनन बरु रुन्छन  तर म सुन्दिन  हेरिरहन्छु  दुख पनि लाग्छ ..अचम्म पनि  किन रोएका होलान ? के कारणले ? अघोरी रोग हो  उत्सुकता  ती पनि रोगी छन्  घिर्सीरहन्छन  लडिरहन्छन ||   निरर्थक शब्दले  जटिल छ संबाद, भन्नु पर्ने एक थोकमा  अनर्थको बीज उब्जे पछि....  निस्सासिन छन् रातो-पिरो भएर...  अत्तालिन छन्  पिडाबोधले म... आँखा चिम्लनछु  चित्त बुझाऊछु   ||   केहि त पक्कै भन्न खोजेका हुन्  कति मरिमेट छन्  तर म सुन्दिन  सम्बेदनाका पर्खालहरुमा ठोकिएर  कानको जालोमा बसेको माकुरो हुँदै आउँदा  कहाँ जान्छ अवाज  सुन्दै-सुन्दिन  म  त्यसैले त..... निराश हुन्छन  तर्किन छन् र बिलाउँछन  !!   हो बिलाउँछन  !! सिसा भित्रबाटै  कहाँ जान्छन  कसरी जान्छन  -नसुनेकोले  -नबुझेको  येत्रो रिस ?????   सिसाभित्रका " म हरु" संगको संबादमा छु | सासको बाफले लेख्छु ...  बुझ्ने प्रयास गर्छु  प्रश्न सोध्छु  उत्तर कुर्छु | सधै .  प्रश्न सोध्छु  उत्तर कुर्छु |                   Last edited: 12-Feb-13 02:06 AM

jhaukiri · Feb 12, 2013 1:54 AM

Very well written Often times, a good poem is best left cryptic. BUt if you don't mind, would you care to elaborate on your poem? I'd like to see if I was right on thinking what you are trying to imply here.

Kiddo · Feb 12, 2013 9:07 AM

  First of all, "Thank you" and i really mean it  for asking me to explain the poem and especially THIS poem because i let it land itself at the end.So..there are two prospective of poem you can think about.: The first is the "ME" vs "The Other" ...As i see them inside the glass ..incaptured and helpless...this is the world  we are living .....suffocating inside the glass  and unable help each other... even unable to  listen eachother. ANd i think like me, they are tring to say the same thing.. they see the same thing that i see..i see them inside the glass and they see ME inside the glass..and we both can't hear eachother so its an infinite phenomena of communication.. The second prospective is "ME" vs "ME" ...incaptured in the glass ...i see myself with all the trauma ...and since "Sisa' can be synonym to the "Mirror' ...the whole episode is about "ME"  talking to "alot of ME" in the mirror because i believe  the mirror can reflect various aspect of you .but we remain unheard by our  own voice.  The use of "म हरु" in the last stanza can be applied to both "various ME" or the "Others" those who are self in themshelves. Let me know what you came up with..i won't be surprised if it was completely different then my thoughts.  And i always appreciate you comment... Thank you !!

jhaukiri · Feb 12, 2013 10:18 AM

Brilliant Better than my interpretation. I equated "sisha" with prosperity, you know how they say people who live in glass building and all. I thought you were hinting towards how constrained these rich people are and they are asking you for something, perhaps help..but it is not clear in this material world. I liked your "self" version; I should have noted the difference between the first stanza and the last stanza-I thought they were the same until I re-read it. Please write more. If I see a bad poem, I chose not to comment as I am not a big fan of poems. But few good poems force you to write something and this is one of them. Anybody can appreciate such a poem.

Kiddo · Feb 12, 2013 10:40 AM

brilliantly written.

inndrashres · Feb 12, 2013 1:15 PM

 Thanks guys !! 

jhaukiri · Feb 13, 2013 9:47 AM

 

jhaukiri · Feb 15, 2013 5:55 PM

  धेरै राम्रो सिर्जना झ्यौकिरी जी  म पनि अलिकति थपडी हालम  आफ्नै सोचाई ले पिडित  आफ्नै लोभ ले तिरस्कृत  म ठुलो, म राम्रो  तँ त्   पाखे नै होस् निश्चित  म मान्छे. सिशा भित्र  मेरो सपना , मै भित्र  नघोच  मलाई , सब्द बाणले  मेरो घमण्ड तुहिञ्च मै भित्र   

timi_mero_sathi · Feb 16, 2013 11:50 AM