Posted by: YRA July 30, 2017
Ek jana sathi lai sapat deko firtai didaina vancha k garna milcha?
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Raajj,
Let it go.

Think of the 2-3K as the rent you paid for 1.5 years. Even if the rent was $200/mo., you've used that much money.

More importantly, if you are the honest person you sound like, I am sure there are people who will be willing to lend you to pay for tuition this fall. Eventually, when you start earning, this amount is going to be so small that you will regret taking someone to court over it. Taking someone to court is easier said than done; it is going to cost you financially -- and, more importantly, emotionally. Again, it sounds like you are a nice person to trust your friend and lend money to him when he needed it. If the friendship breaks, it's his loss, not your. Life is too short to be delving over people like your friend. Focus on bigger things, and don't let this experience make you judge other people (i.e., when you get richer and see people in need, please continue to help them). It is possible that you friend is also going through some challenges; best to remember: it's often the circumstances that make people a&%holes.

Take it from someone who is likely much older than you.

A few years ago, I had a friend who stayed with me for months. I basically fed him and provided a roof. He was going through life's shit. Around the time he left, we sort of did the math and figured that he was going to pay me an amount. I was pretty bankrupt then but had to lend money to my friend because he needed it more than I did. At least that's how understood it. The friend eventually went to another place, earned money and all. I was hesitant to ask for the money. Looking at it now, it was a small amount, although a big share of my budget back then. There was a time in between, when I decided to go to grad school and with various things happening to my family, I was very tight on finances and that amount could have made a big difference. I asked my friend if he can lend me some money or at least give me the money he owed. To be honest, I was hurt when he couldn't. I am sure he had his reasons (possible that he also happened to be tight on finances around that time), but I was surprised and a little hurt nonetheless. Friendship broke and we haven't really spoken in years. That amount is peanuts compared to what I now make. I feel bad that our friendship broke but feel great that I didn't go after the money repeatedly, because in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter.

In the grand scheme of things, your $2-3K is not going to matter. It is a big amount now. It matters now. Trust me, it wont later. What will matter later is your big heart, your hard work. But if you lose track of bigger things and start going after people for money you've lent and for their lack of reciprocity, you will always be lost. And it will be your loss. Don't do it to yourself.

Call me Gandhi if you wish (and some in this forum might too), but you will thank me later.

--Thuldai
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