Bro, that's a tough situation. Sorry, I am not commenting with any preskription, I just want to say I hear you. This aspect of our culture always makes me think. Like one of my American friends (who spent many years in Asia) says, you guys don't live for yourself but you live for family and society. While it has a lot of merits, it costs people in individual basis like in your case.

Only observation I have in your future scenario is that is your current wife someone who would be able to get married or otherwise continue a moderately happy life if you divorce her? If that possibility strongly exists, I agree with the idea of your right to be happy.

Other observation is that compare the romantic relationship carefully. What seems like a heavenly world as a bf/gf sometimes does change once you become husband/wife as you start taking care of real situations. Grass is always greener on the other side. I don't know how deep/practical relation you have, but I've seen things change afterwards.